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  • Trip Reports Moderator: Cheshire_Kat

(Heroin) First time: I LOVE It

wingnutlives

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 19, 2005
Messages
1,035
Location
Northwest USA
For certain purposes I am going to put a disclaimer that this report is intended to be read as hypothetical and fictional, even though it is written in first person.


I am rather experienced with opiates. I've done opium, methadone, oxycontin, vicadin, percocet, hydromorphone, morphine.... I decided that I had kind of a problem with loving opiates too much, so in October decided to quit all drugs for a year, starting on New Years. Of course before that I just had to go on some huge drug binges, and I HAD to try heroin before I quit everything for so long. Extreme curiosity and all that...

I had no connects, so I pretty much went out to a certain place in my city and scored on the street. Being a short, shy white chick with no experience scoring in the street, walking in the dark alone, I had some doubts and thoughts of being robbed or just plain not finding anything at all. Luckily, I did end up finding some tar, although it took a long time and I think the "runner" guy was a bit young and incompetent. I accidently gave a dollar less than I should have for two bags, so I got one bag and the supplier kept my change. I fronted my money (bad idea, I know, but I'm not sure if that's normal around here or not) and got ripped off, but oh well... that's not the worst thing that could happen. I was glad that I got real H at all!

First I tried smoking it off a metal spoon and a straw, but that didn't work at all. After accidently melting the plastic straw I was a little worried about inhaling plastic and giving myself brain damage, so I gave up and tried to think of other ideas on how to administer it (IV was totally out of the question, I don't do needles). Luckily I remembered a suggestion on Bluelight and I decided to try it: dissolving the tar in warm water and then snorting the water. It was gross, but it worked!

I am between homes right now, so living out of a suitcase, visiting family and such. I didn't want to do H at my family's place, so I basically got rid of the bag over two days. The first night was the night I scored, and I insullflated the water over a period of an hour while taking a long hot bath... ahhhh...
It took a long time to come on. I did about half the bag, and at first I thought that it was shit and nothing was going to happen, and then after about an hour it hit all at once!

The feelings were like this: this incredible warmth went through my body, and I got this burst of energy that made me want to rub my face over and over again. I was warm and itchy, and it felt good to scrub my skin and rub it against the towel. I felt like I was a cat flexing it's paws and being petted by someone. My vision became a little blurry and doubled up... I had to work hard to keep my eyes straight. I literally wanted to purr like a cat. I mean I've felt euphoria from opiates, but those were more of a body high. Heroin gave me an emotional lift that was more than just a good body feeling... it was like being forgiven all my sins by god (if I believed in god, which I don't), or being a child and waking up in a warm house to a snow day and a happy family, or like any kind of joy you can just sink into and not think about anything else.

I got out of the bath and spent some time with my friends, thinking about how much I loved them and how glad I was to have them in my life. I felt a little guilty because they didn't know I was high (they are psychedelic users and stoners who are against other drugs) but I managed to stifle it, and I was able to hide my fuckedupness very well. Moving was very easy and quick, but at the same time I could stay still and sink into the couch. I could nod in and out really quickly, and spent half our conversation with my eyes closed. I took a hit of weed, which intensified the high really nicely.

The next day I was still feeling GREAT. I boarded the train to visit the other half of my family in California. I fell asleep on the train, woke up at 7AM, and then did the same water-mixing solution in the Amtrak train bathroom. This was I guess the other half of my "first time", or maybe my second time. This time I snorted the solution in the space of fifteen minutes, because I didn't want anyone to get suspicious that I was spending so much time in the bathroom. I did about half a bag again, thinking that I would have too much tolerance from the night before.
But, I was wrong.

It's probably not a good idea to do half a bag at once when you have very little tolerance. When I did it over the course of an hour, I didn't get sick, but when I did it this time I got VERY sick. First I felt this amazing sense of RELIEF, standing in the bathroom, because I'd been wanting it all day, and it just felt so great to feel the way I wanted to. I felt just perfect and completely optimistic for the day. It also felt REALLY STRONG. But fine, I could handle it.
And I did, until I was standing in line to buy tea at the Amtrak snack car, and then puked all over myself!

Well, that was embarrasing. I changed the shirt I'd puked over, brushed my teeth, then came back for my tea. I told observers that I was getting over the flu, and they felt very sorry for me and I felt like an asshole for lying to them!
I went upstairs to the sightseer car and puked two more times into the trash can (but very quietly so no one would notice, and luckily if they did they kept it to themselves). I was kind of worried about myself, because not only was I sick, but I had the blurriest vision and my head kept falling forward, and my breathing was very shallow. I forced myself to take deep and fast breaths to speed my system up more (I have this extreme fear of overdosing and dying on almost any drug). I was also consumed with guilt for misleading everyone into thinking I was really sick, and guilt about how proud my family was of me and what they would think if they really knew what I did and how let down they would be when they found out :/

After realizing that no, I wasn't going to die or anything like that, I forced down the rest of my tea and lay down in my seat. Then I had the best nod ever, where I just sank down into my seat and everything just... dissolved into a warm comforting blanket... My nausea went away after a while and I ate a few things, drank some juice, talked with my seatmate for a bit, then drifting off again to that blank nonexistence...

In summary: No more heroin for me. I love it so much, I only had it this morning and I already miss it like I would miss a person. Opiates are addictive, but H is in a class all of its own. The euphoria is like nothing I've gotten from anything else, not even morphine based pharmacuticals. It's the perfect drug for people who want to forget that they live in a fucked up world with horrible things happening and people being nasty to each other, a world of escape and sweet blissful nothingness.

substancecode_heroin
substancecode_opiates
methodcode_nasal
 
Last edited by a moderator:
i applaude you.

thats very well wrighten.

nice read! reminded me of my first time....ohh what a time...
 
BlueFractal said:
Very interesting. I'm quite shocked to see how quick the addiction sets up...

Well, I don't think most people get addicted their first time. But I've had problems with opiates for a few months now... H just happens to be my favorite now. Luckily, it's much more inconvenient to get than pharmies, so if I relapse it will probably be on pharmies instead.
 
the day i get a contact for heroin is the day i become a junky.

I've been doing codeine for a year and a half now and every day i thank fate/god/myluckystars/whatever for the fact that I've never once come in contact with someone that can hook me up with heroin/oxy/etc


well written, enjoyed reading this! (makes me want heroin even more!)

but just how fictional is it? Putting it in trip reports might be a bit misleading if its not entirely to the truth, and for the sake of keeping literary works separate from factual reports, maybe this thread should be in words?
 
Be F U C K I N G careful. That's all I have to say. You seem like a cool person and you come across as fairly intelligent. You know the risks. I was a person who could take it or leave it for YEARS but all of that shit changed way before I even realized it. I don't wanna' get all long winded and shit on you, you know the score. Stay safe and be careful.
 
Haha, thrown up at the WORST of times, many a time, on H. Sometimes it's quite curious, it's ability to induce EXTREME nausea at the most inconvenient time.
 
AcidRain said:
the day i get a contact for heroin is the day i become a junky.

I've been doing codeine for a year and a half now and every day i thank fate/god/myluckystars/whatever for the fact that I've never once come in contact with someone that can hook me up with heroin/oxy/etc


well written, enjoyed reading this! (makes me want heroin even more!)

but just how fictional is it? Putting it in trip reports might be a bit misleading if its not entirely to the truth, and for the sake of keeping literary works separate from factual reports, maybe this thread should be in words?

No, it doesn't belong in words. I'm just not sure of how I should phrase it to avoid having someone keep an eye on me (like law enforcement). Usually I don't worry about that, but H is a totally different ballgame it seems.
 
Thanks for your comments everyone : )
Yeah, no shit, I really do need to be careful.
I will never touch it again
I mean I hope I will never touch it again... :/
 
I'm sure that L/E has MUCH better things to do than troll Internet Forums for people to bust...
 
I had some diacetylmorphine for the first time last week. I did it for 5 days in a row, and now I've been dealing with minor withdrawal for days... can't sleep for shit and I keep getting random bouts of anxiety and discontent. I also can't really stop moving. And kratom has switched to doing nothing whatsoever, except possibly attentuating the symptoms for a brief time.

So yeah, just be careful... I never had that sort of reaction from any other opiate. And it came at a bad time, with family holiday times and all.
 
Xorkoth said:
I had some diacetylmorphine for the first time last week. I did it for 5 days in a row, and now I've been dealing with minor withdrawal for days... can't sleep for shit and I keep getting random bouts of anxiety and discontent. I also can't really stop moving. And kratom has switched to doing nothing whatsoever, except possibly attentuating the symptoms for a brief time.

So yeah, just be careful... I never had that sort of reaction from any other opiate. And it came at a bad time, with family holiday times and all.

You and me both... :(
I was really shocked. I have also never had that reaction from any other opiate. Hell, I've done oxy and hydromorphone for several days straight and could go back to my normal life right afterwards.
 
Thats because heroin embodies all the souls that have perished before it, alone in the most desolate hopeless situations imaginable. Exaggeration? I dont even know anymore.........
 
Xorkoth said:
I had some diacetylmorphine for the first time last week. I did it for 5 days in a row, and now I've been dealing with minor withdrawal for days... can't sleep for shit and I keep getting random bouts of anxiety and discontent. I also can't really stop moving. And kratom has switched to doing nothing whatsoever, except possibly attentuating the symptoms for a brief time.

So yeah, just be careful... I never had that sort of reaction from any other opiate. And it came at a bad time, with family holiday times and all.

xork - The big H is amazingly psychedelic. Use it well, but don't underestimate the way it balances out in the end. If you are ready for a week in hell (I find withdrawals rewarding), do as much chiva as you fancy. Otherwise, stick to kratom and similar opioids. Why is it that all the big trippers get so very far into the Nod? Give me a sack of mushrooms, th green herb and a bag of H and I will show you one content wanderer.


wingnut - great report - see ya in dreamland!
 
wingnutlives, im sure youve heard it all before but be careful!!

Heroin is your best friend and worst enemy. Instead of dancing with the devil, I like to abuse suboxone in as low doses as I can, but on a regular basis. In the case I get addicted, the withdrawals are going to be a lot easier!

Good luck though, enjoy!
 
ForTheRush said:
Thats because heroin embodies all the souls that have perished before it, alone in the most desolate hopeless situations imaginable. Exaggeration? I dont even know anymore.........

Truer words have never been spoken...
 
ForTheRush said:
Thats because heroin embodies all the souls that have perished before it, alone in the most desolate hopeless situations imaginable. Exaggeration? I dont even know anymore.........

Thats some deep thought material there buddy. Gonna steal it for my sig on another forum if thats ok.
 
thats a great documentation of your experience m8,its always good to have a pleasent 1st time..but please never forget if your going to chase the dragon..beware you might catch him by the tail.;)
 
haha i wonder what they'd say if you told them you were on smack.
"Oh sorry i've been doin a bit of smack, i'm sure you understand my situation."
 
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