Heroin and such.....

[Serena]

Ok, the best, and most painless way to OD is by heroin and alcohol. Can anyone recommend the right quantities and combination to achieve this? Also, will temazepan help tip me over the edge? I've done lots of research into how to suicide and am determined to achieve this goal so don't try and talk me out of this. It's best if I know the details so I can do this right the first time. Few details to help with answers are: I'm in Sydney Australia, weigh 53kilos and am female. I want to make sure I don't throw up and/or survive with liver or organ damage. I just need the pain of my life to stop.

 

[copacetic]

Serena, you don't wanna try that. You may feel like dying @ this moment but the fact that your willing to communicate these feelings sez a lot about really
wanting help which I am not qualified to give. If these feelings persist you must seek help; I'm gonna pray that u do.

 

[Dizzybells]

I hope I don't offend with what I'm about to say.. I may not know you Serena, but regardless, your life has so much worth, why, because you are the decider of what happens and paths you take.. This world can be shit all, and humanity's disgust leaving us believing that we deserve where they put us.. but please, before you make any decisions, if you would, sit down, take a deep breath, close your eyes and tell yourself you're beautiful..



Late at night
Sitting In silence
as we suffer our thoughts
Nothing seems right
Why must there always
Be this fight
Empty and distraught
Glaring at the sky
Asking ourselves why..
Tales that were told
A long time ago
The power and infamy
Of That man in the moon
Who Was now
My personal doom
Mocking me
Almost menacingly
Nowhere to run
Must grab my gun
Our time has come
We are
what we allow Ourselves to be
And That glare
that you bare
From up there
Is merely your reflection
A friendly reminder
of What you have
And will again become

Peace, love and light Serena.. Sending you good, positive energy

 

[Serena]

Thanks for the kind words. But it's not an answer to what I need to know. Be a bit more constructive please

 

[Dr Pepper]

People die off that combo all the time. You obviously know this. But you are asking for help it sounds like. Try to call or talk to someone. Don't just try and kill yourself. Are you that much of a selfish weakling? Many people are in pain. They dont all 'suicide'. Use the drugs to self medicate if you must, but don't kill yourself.

 

[buster the cat]

Wow! I can't believe I came across this post!! This past June, I had squirreled away temazepans in an effort to commit suicide. I read online that wasn't going to be enough, so I got a bundle of H. After my girlfriend talked me out of it, I threw the pills and H away, but a month later tried to OD with H. I cannot describe the OD, as it's too graphic and I'm not a good typer, but I ended up staying in a mental ward (Bellevue@NYC to those of you that know it) and in that 5 weeks I turned my life around. While I was there, I was surrounded with people that were glad that I didn't die. Initially, I thought it all a load of crap and I wanted to get out and OD--getting it "right" this time. After about 10 days in there I decided to be a little open-minded and let them help me. I went to all the groups and talked honestly with the doctors and staff. I am now prescribed Celexa (citalopram) and Remeron. I take both meds every day and I feel great! I'm sure glad that I didn't OD! I know this sounds like a load of crap to you, cause it woulda sounded the same to me had I not gone thru what I went thru. I genuinely want to live today. Before I went to the psych ward I thought, "Well I can always kill myself, why not give this a go?" I'm glad to be alive today!! I truly am. My life's not perfect: I have a couple of major medical problems (some of which are managed) and am currently addicted to H again, but I'm happy to be alive. I'm glad I saw this thread and am able to share my experience, strength and hope with you! Thanks.

 

[Serena]

Dr pepper, it is not up to you, or anyone, to judge me. You do not know my reality and what I've gone through. The only help I'm asking for is how to do this correctly. If you can't answer that, don't post at all.

 

[missmeyet?]

Ok...well I'm really sorry that you are feeling this way and am sorry that things feel so overwhelming for you right now but with that said, this is a harm reduction site and no one on here is going to tell you how or assist and go along with you killing yourself. Do you really thing that someone would come on here and say oh this is what you should take to off yourself? No one is going to be responsible for helping someone kill yourself.

I would suggest you jump over to The Dark Side forum if you want to discuss your feelings over there.

 

[Serena]

Ok, thanks missmeyet xx

 

[bronson]

moving this NMI --> TDS

 

[Black Rabbit of Inle]

Serena, as missmeyet? said:

this is a harm reduction site and no one on here is going to tell you how or assist and go along with you killing yourself. Do you really thing that someone would come on here and say oh this is what you should take to off yourself? No one is going to be responsible for helping someone kill yourself.

Bluelight will never promote, encourage or aid suicide in any circumstances. You won't find the answers you want, but you may find the ones you need if you decide to hang around and post some more.

I'm from Aus-land too if you're ever up for a more local chat, feel free to PM me.

People die off that combo all the time. You obviously know this. But you are asking for help it sounds like. Try to call or talk to someone. Don't just try and kill yourself. Are you that much of a selfish weakling? Many people are in pain. They dont all 'suicide'. Use the drugs to self medicate if you must, but don't kill yourself.

Regardless of the actual intent to commit suicide, talk like this will only lead to them feeling worse. Even though this was moved from NMI (Recovery has a "Tough Love" guideline), your first response to a suicide threat, in any situation, should never be abusive. We also have a strict rule about discouraging people from self medicating.

 

[T. Calderone]

Hi Serena, I hope you can find a solution that doesn't mean killing yourself. My story's a lot like buster's and I took a bunch of pills that I knew could kill me. Only I changed my mind and called the paramedics shortly after I did this. They sectioned me and I felt like such a loser being put into a psychiatric hospital. But many people there were just like me and didn't really want to die, just had problems that felt insurmountable at the time.

Yeah, I still have lots of issues but glad I'm still here. I have lost quite a few friends and family members in the past few years due to overdoses, heart attack, cancer, aids, and even one who was murdered. It reaffirms my belief that since we are not meant to stay on earth forever, we need to make the best of our short time here. It's not so easy sometimes to keep my head up but I think hey, every day is a new beginning. You can pull yourself out of this, you really can.

 

[TweakFace]

You can pull yourself out of this mindset, trust me you can. I may not know who you are, but I've delt with plenty of people who have also been suicidal and I attempted suicide about a year ago myself with Alcohol and Xanax. Obviously I failed but I'm so lucky and happy I lived to tell the tale.

There IS things to look forward in life. I really do wish the best for you and I really hope you don't take your life. If you ever need someone to talk to just PM me.

 

[neversickanymore]

Hey Serena You can do this anytime you want... So why not put off a little more.

Since you can do this anytime why not talk to some good people and see where it goes.

The Suicide Support Thread

link for >>Samaritans<<

"The Samaritans Crisis Line is a Western Australian based not for profit organisation working towards a society in which fewer individuals die by suicide. With services available to callers both locally and nationally, Samaritans Crisis Line is available 24 hours a day to all individuals, from all walks of life.

As an organisation, we believe people who are experiencing feelings of distress and despair, including those who may be at risk of suicide, have the right to receive anonymous, non-judgemental, non-religious emotional support, 24/7 from appropriately trained individuals.

As such, everything a Caller tells a Samaritan, including the fact that they have contacted the Crisis Line, is 100% confidential. Samaritans will only keep information on their callers if it is essential to their care, and callers maintain the right to make their own decisions at all times.

To fulfill our charter, the Samaritans Crisis Line works in partnership with schools, health and counseling services and community organisations as well as individuals. By providing these services we hope to promote a better understanding in the Australian Community about suicide, suicidal behaviour and the value of expressing feelings."




Please Call

 

[Black Rabbit of Inle]

link for >>Samaritans<<

"The Samaritans Crisis Line is a Western Australian based not for profit organisation working towards a society in which fewer individuals die by suicide. With services available to callers both locally and nationally, Samaritans Crisis Line is available 24 hours a day to all individuals, from all walks of life. {...}"

Please Call

Here's some numbers local to Sydney that you can also call if you need.

Mental Health Help Line: 1800 011 511
Salvo Crisis Line: 02 8736 3295 (Sydney)
Salvo Care line: 1300 36 36 22 (regional NSW)
Lifeline: 13 11 14
Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467

I've found the Suicide Call Back service very helpful in the past, it's manned 24/7 by professional counsellors:

How it works

The Suicide Call Back Service provides immediate telephone counselling and support in a crisis. Additionally, we can provide up to six further telephone counselling sessions with the same counsellor scheduled at times best suited to your needs.

Professional counsellors, with specialist skills in working with suicide-related issues, will assist you in working through difficult emotions. The counsellor will help you with goal planning, ensuring your own safety. and help to link you to other services in the community.

All information gathered during contact with Suicide Call Back Service is a Health Record that is recorded and stored securely and may be used for quality and training purposes. For further information, click here.

 

[Lustmord]

Serena, I hope it's not too late..

Life is shitty. If you ever need someone to talk to, PM me.

 

[Nate2k3nm]

I think there is no real way to do it without being in discomfort and having zero suffering but that can be a good thing because true peace is a product of pain and suffering as well as growth. I believe that I am going to have to quick heroi cold turkey if I am going to quit at all. I have heard too many horror stories that end successfully not to trust that cold turkey is good ole fashioned way to go.

 

[verso]

I was in a very similar situation not long ago, just a couple of weeks ago, actually; I am living with my girlfriend now, and I had found her father's rifle in the basement -- with ammunition, to boot! It was very tempting, very, very tempting, and I woke up every morning thinking about it.

I mean, everything in my life was just so overwhelming, so seemingly irreparable, that I considered creeping down into the basement early in the morning when everyone else was sleeping, sticking that barrel into my mouth, tilting my head back, and just spraying my brains all over the ceiling.

I then thought about a more peaceful, less messy way to go, and, of course heroin came to mind; I'm not sure why I hadn't thought of overdosing on heroin first, as, you know, I'm a fucking heroin addict!

But, there's a documentary that I once watched and I can't help thinking about it every time I contemplate suicide. It's called 'The Bridge,' and you can probably find it on YouTube, albeit segmented into a million different parts.

It's about all of the people who throw themselves off of the golden gate bridge each year, and there's an interview with this one kid who survived. He talks about how it happened, and all of the thoughts that went through his head after he jumped and was falling... it's pretty unbelievable. His outlook on life is so radically different now, and it's just very thought-provoking.

I wish I had more to say, but I'll let everyone else give you the run-down on why life is worth living and all of that because, to be honest, I'm not sure myself. But I would definitely check out that documentary if I were you. The kid's story is amazing...

 

[thedawn]

around 5 years ago I was at that point,OP.
dont fucking kill yourself.it's not worth it.you don't know whats to come either.
I was sitting with a mountain of h up my nose,vodka and valium in belly.slept 30 hrs.
and now,a little later,those thoughts and urges have disappeared.
miracles happens to addicts who are like us but choose too stick around.

your disease,the disease of addiction,is telling you to kill yourself.
don't listen to that voice.
it's all lies.
keep posting about whats up.

 

[plmar]

Why do you want to kill yourself?

Even if your life is complete shit and you're about to go homeless try to enjoy it either way.
There's more to life than what is expected of you or what people tell you.

I dont know, thats just the way i look at it.