hey!!my question is, 3 years ago i smoked my first time heroin, but i never liked it very much, and i wont do it some times for several months, i dont know if by that time i was addicted(psychologicaly), but 5 months ago, i started smoking again, and the first time i smoked, five months ago, it changed something in me.(before that, the last time i've smoked was 3 or 4 months ago.) And since then i was smoking heroin in the first month, one time a week,and then i dont know how,but, i lost control...(obsiously!!!!!)and started 2 days a week...3 days a week and so on...and now i'm smoking 3 days...i stop one...smoke more 2 or 3 days in a row...sometimes i dont have cash for 2 or 3 days and had to stop, but for 3 months(more or less)i was in this rythm...i dont know if i w.d...in the 3rd day i start feeling a bit strange,cold..a bit sick,insomnia.. but i dont know if this is my mind tricking me or is the w.d! I'm a bit scared because my dad is addicted to heroin too, and i dont want to fuck up my life..i just dont know,i love my life, but i am feeling a bit lost,disconected,i know what i like, i have interests,i love nature,birds and plants,i like living but sometimes i feel i am not doing anything, the life im living is not enough....
And i was and i am so curious about everything...not just the drugs but..life. And now i dont know what to do, i am not having the will power that i need to back off this drug...i'm feeling a fool, an idiot, to think that i can play with this drug.
I have a girlfriend(6 years relationship), she is "trying to helping" me, my friends(one of them addicted too)dont know what to do, my dad is addicted too and is suspicious about me..is councerned, and this hurts me...seeing my family...my girlfriend, all suffering coz the things im doing. i need an opinion, i do want to stop, i know i do but i'm not having the will power i need i think...im thinking about suboxone...but i dont even know if this makes sense...or if i need to hit the ground, to awake...:S
PS:sorry for the bad english, i understand english very well, but dont speak or write as well(i'm from portugal). Thanks, and i appreciate all the opinions
And i was and i am so curious about everything...not just the drugs but..life. And now i dont know what to do, i am not having the will power that i need to back off this drug...i'm feeling a fool, an idiot, to think that i can play with this drug.
I have a girlfriend(6 years relationship), she is "trying to helping" me, my friends(one of them addicted too)dont know what to do, my dad is addicted too and is suspicious about me..is councerned, and this hurts me...seeing my family...my girlfriend, all suffering coz the things im doing. i need an opinion, i do want to stop, i know i do but i'm not having the will power i need i think...im thinking about suboxone...but i dont even know if this makes sense...or if i need to hit the ground, to awake...:S
PS:sorry for the bad english, i understand english very well, but dont speak or write as well(i'm from portugal). Thanks, and i appreciate all the opinions
