hepatitis c

[mrs_mia_wallace]

I just found out my friend from rehab (which I went to almost two years ago) has hepatitis c. I haven't seen him in almost two years-- the last time I saw him we had both just been kicked out of rehab, my parents wouldn't speak to me, I was stranded in Arizona and had no money, nowhere to go. I had never shot heroin before (just smoked it) and I went to a motel with him and shared a needle. We were cleaning the needle in-between uses but I don't remember what we used to clean it with. It was so STUPID-- I would never do it now, it's the only time I've ever shared a needle with anyone. I was in such a bad place, so filled with anger, resentment, fear, and ignorant (I thought if you cleaned the needle then it was fine to share) and I just wanted to get high, I didn't give a shit about the consequences. I felt like everything in my life had fallen apart and I was so furious because I got kicked out of rehab for leaving and walking around downtown, I hadn't even used. I felt like fuck, if they're going to kick me out and tell my parents I used I might as well get high, right? Now I'm glad I got kicked out-- I ended up going to another rehab that was a much better fit for me and helped me a lot more, but at the time I couldn't see that it was happening for a reason.

I heard from him today and I am so scared right now. I keep feeling like I should be angry at him, but I'm not-- I'm just angry at myself for doing something so incredibly stupid. I don't want to be living with a disease, and it feels so unfair to me that the ONE time I shared a needle it had to be with someone who had hepititis C. I know I need to get tested but I'm so filled with fear about it, and I feel so alone with this news-- I don't want to tell my parents, there's so much shit going on in my family right now, my mother would be incapable of dealing with it and my father would probably disown me, and I'm embarassed to go to my friends. I don't even know where to get tested, where do I go? And is it likely I might have it, even though we cleaned the needle?

 

[Shameful]

Do you have a primary care physician? That's where I went to get tested just recently. I know there are probably some sort of free clinics or something that you can go to that would do it for free possibly. I also shared a needle with someone (one of my best friends) who has hep C. For the longest time I thought for sure that I had it. But my test results came back negative. So don't worry yourself to death when you aren't even sure that you have it yet. Also, most people who have hep C live for a long time without even showing any symptoms, but I know it does suck to think that you have an incurable disease (although, these days they are saying that is in fact curable in some cases). I have a lot of good info about hep C that I got from one of my counselors that I think I'll dig up for this.

 

[Shameful]

Ok, a lot of the stuff turned out to be pretty basic preventative info. But something to note is that a certain amount of people (can't find exact percentage) wont go on to develop a chronic infection... meaning that it'll resolve itself. They'll develop antibodies for it and test positive for it on an antibodies test, but they wont actually have the virus. At least I'm pretty sure that's how it works.

 

[mrs_mia_wallace]

I don't have a primary physican-- I mean I guess technically I do since I have health insurance but I haven't been to a doctor since I was in rehab, so like almost two years, I have just a psychiatrist. I called to see if they could do it for me today but I haven't heard from them. I have a gynecologist as well, I guess they could probably test me?

There were three of us that were sharing the needle and my friend told me he already told the other girl and she got tested and was negative, so that's a good sign. I sent him a message thanking him for telling me and saying I hoped he was OK, and he admitted that he knew at the time he had it but he was too embarassed/ashamed to say something (we all asked each other "do you have anything?" before we used). I guess I can understand that, and honestly I can imagine I would have lied, especially if I thought I wasn't going to be able to use, but it still makes me resentful towards him and annoyed he waited so damn long to tell me.

 

[effie]

I don't know how the system works in the US - here we have sexual health clinics (I know this isn't an STI, but they test for all blood-bourne infections as well) where you can walk in, anonymously, and get tested. Drug treatment centres also often offer testing for blood-bourne diseases. Try a bit of internet research - see if there are any clinics in your area you could go to.. your gynaecologist may well be able to test you, or you could find a primary care physician who should be able to help. I don't know the US healthcare system that well, sorry!

I understand how scared you are - the chances may be slim but until you get the test you will have this fear hanging over you. Hepatitis C usually lies dormant for quite some time; in some people (about 20% ) the body clears it completely - in others it can develop into a chronic disease. Often doctors will watch and wait for a little while to see what happens. However, even those who don't clear it themselves can be cured - up to 80% of people are completely cured with antiviral treatment. So the odds are in your favour - and the sooner it is detected the sooner a treatment plan can be agreed on by doctors.

I know this all makes logical sense, but I know that it doesn't stop the horrible fear and I know that it doesn't necessarily make it any easier to take the plunge and get tested. Do you have a good friend you could confide in, who could go with you? Your family don't need to know if you don't want to tell them - hopefully there will be nothing to tell; if there is, we can cross that bridge when we come to it. The first step is to get tested, and I think it would be a lot easier if you have a friend to go with you. You don't even have to go into specifics with them if you don't feel able (although you absolutely should not feel ashamed about this!) - you could just say you want to get yourself tested to make sure you are clean of all infections..

Feeling resentful towards your friend is entirely normal. I think you are very perceptive and understanding when you say you think he felt embarrassed at the time, but it is one thing understanding (and even thinking we may have done the same outselves) but it is quite another when it happens to us. Don't feel bad for feeling this way - this is a big shock, and something that has been dropped on you all of a sudden and is out of control - it is entirely natural to feel how you do. I am very glad your friend told you at last, however, even if it did take him a long time..

Let us know how you get on (if you would like to) and of course feel free to vent here as much as you like!!

Good luck

 

[herbavore]

Mia, I was stuck with a needle while cleaning out my son's apartment after his overdose. I live in CA and I just went right to an Urgent Care clinic and they tested me. Good luck.

 

[Mariposa]

They will also do it at Planned Parenthood, Mia - and they will provide you with counseling and aftercare if you do test positive. I am pretty sure the needle exchange in SF does it as well, in addition to giving you safer injection supplies. www.sfaf.org is their website.

It's good to see you back and having completed rehab, even if it's under these circumstances - hope that things get better for you soon and that your test comes back negative. There's no way to know for sure without the test. But do know that even if your test comes back positive, that there are treatments and lifestyle changes that help most people with hep C. Regardless, it's a good idea for anyone to get vaccinated against hep A and B, so please ask about that when you meet with your doctor or clinic.

Bon courage

 

[SideOrderOfOpiates]

They will also do it at Planned Parenthood, Mia - and they will provide you with counseling and aftercare if you do test positive.

I cannot speak for the Planned Parenthood in San Francisco, but they do not offer Hepatitis C testing at the Planned Parenthood in the relative Los Angeles area. In fact, they did not seem to even be able to point me in the proper direction.

Best of luck, Mia. I have been through something relatively similar and completely understand the mental anguish in knowing that the one time you decided to partake in such actions, the other person was infected. Subsequently, I did not pick up anything. I truly hope that you did not either! If you did contract it, I have several friends with Hepatitis C and two of them went inactive. Although that is clearly not what anyone would desire, it is entirely possible to live a mostly healthy life with it. By the way, what your 'friend' did was completely unacceptable IMHO, and regardless of your test results, I would seriously reexamine why on earth you would want such a deceitful person in your life.

 

[mrs_mia_wallace]

^thanks

I haven't gone, which is stupid, I know, but I'm afraid, and I've been so busy/stressed these lasts few weeks, with my mom getting ready for a mastectomy, my father being his drunken, out of control self, going back to my regular work schedule and taking 18 units, I need to find somewhere that I can go on the weekend or the evening becasue I have 9-5 or 9-8 days everyday. I know being busy isn't an excuse not go but I'm just terrified of the possibility of having to live with this....

We aren't friends anymore, really, to be honest. I mean like I said, I haven't seen him in two years and besides maybe three or four facebook messages we haven't even been in contact. To put someone in danger of contacting hep c the first time you know they're shooting up because there's only one needle and you want to use it to-- when you could shoot it up your nose or smoke it--is just low. And what really pisses me off is that he told this other girls like SIX MONTHS AGO-- what the fuck?! why would he tell her and then wait six months to tell me? Besides exposing me to it, by waiting so fucking long he's possibly put other people in my life in danger. I haven't shared a needle with anybody, but I was dating someone for a year and a half and so obviously sleeping with him on a very regular basis, and there's two other people I've slept with since breaking up with him back in September. I don't know how easy it is to get it through sex, but he knew my ex--I met him in rehab, they were friends and even roommates for a while-- and he knew we were together and didn't feel the need to say something. Ugh, it just makes me so angry even to think about it. And my father LOVED him-- when I got kicked out of rehab my dad flew out to get me and he met him, he told my dad he felt like it was his fault I got kicked out because he pushed me to leave and try to find drugs (which we didn't find) and so of course my dad liked him for saying that. My dad's offered to give me $ to try and help him when I heard he was doing badly, and I'm just glad I never took my dad up on the offer. So yeah, after this I have definitly ceased any future contact with him.

 

[RaZkaL86]

Hi Mia!! Read your posts and I'm really sorry about what happened to you, but there's nothing you can do now about your past; you need to move on...I'm writing you cause I was diagnosed with HepC in 2003 and I felt like my life was over. I have been a heroin addict for most of my adult life. I started using in 1987 and then was used recreationally you know like on weekends and maybe a day or two in the week. But then my father whom I was really close to passed away from cancer and it was sudden, so it hit me like a ton of bricks. My only comfort came with using heroin and my addiction took off like a rocket. There were a few times that I can recall that I shared a needle because it was the only way to feel better and my so-called friend was getting high and he insisted that I shoot it cause he said snorting it was a waste and he didn't want to waste it and since he was using and I was broke and desperate so I said okay...I immediately fell in love with using it that way and soon learned how to do it myself. This is coming from someone who adamantly said that" I will never use a needle, no fucking way!!!!" So sometime later I met a girl whom I learned later was a heroin user and dealer and we hit it off. One night after sex (unprotected) I saw blood all over the sheets and was scared and she said it was "something is wrong with my liver" or something like that. I didn't think about it much and soon we drifted apart. Then one day after a regular checkup with my doc he told me I tested positive for HepC ( I have always been upfront with my doc about my drug use) and I was scared shitless!! He told me there was treatment available for it but there were side effects to be expected. I basically said I would think about it and let him know if I was interested. Anyways to get to the point I saw my doc which was a new doc since my regular doc was transferring to another state, and we discussed the HepC problem and she advised me to do the treatment but I was afraid of the side effects I had heard and read about; symptoms similar to withdrawals from dope like fever, chills, nausea, diarrhea and so on. My viral load at the time was around 10 million(don't remember what it meant but I knew it was very high) but I wasn't showing any symptoms like jaundice(yellow skin or your eyes get yellow too) and I had seen a person I knew from years ago and he had yellow eyes and his skin was kinda yellow too. So I said yes I would do the treatment but if I got too ill I was going to stop!! The treatment is called Pegasys and it's an injection of interferon and these pills called ribavirin. The injections are a once-a-week deal and you have to inject yourself in the stomach or abdomen area( which I was really afraid of cause it sounds painful) but it wasn't that bad at all. So it's one shot a week and five pills daily(three in the AM then two at dinnertime) also I have depression so they had to prescribe an anti-depressant cause it makes you more depressed. This treatment is for a year minimum, I started it in Oct of 2009 and immediately my viral count dropped to around 1 million in a months time, then it dropped very rapidly; my doctor(you have to see a gastroenterologist since it affects your liver) said he had never seen it drop so quickly in any of his patients. After a year and a half( I extended it 6 months more to be sure) I was finally told it was at an undetectable level...you will always have it but it goes into remission and the level is so low it is considered "undetectable" And for the side effects...I had NONE except a rash that developed around my forehead, but that's all. You will feel kinda blah and tired but that's normal you have to take some vitamins and keep active like walking and/or light cardio cause if you just lay around you will really feel the effects.
I'm sorry this post got so long but it's cause sometimes when I start writing I can't stop, haha!! So if your diagnosed with HepC ( which up to this point you haven't said if you have it or not) but if the tests come back negative and I pray they will then you'll be allright, just get checked again in a few months and periodically cause sometimes you may have it but it's still not showing up in the tests. If you do test positive for it by all means do the Pegasys treatment the earlier the better, and hopefully you'll have no side effects, but expect that you may; you might be suprised...I put it off for years out of fear) and I pray for you to be healthy and I hope clean too. I'm still battling the devil heroin and I'm not giving up!! Take care and I hope to read from you soon!!! David

 

[flyonth3wall]

Get yourself tested.. You can't afford to wait..

Please get tested - Its a positive on both sides of the equation - Firstly if you are negative you will feel A LOT better about the situation, and if, God forbid, you come back positive, you can see a Dr about treatment options and start getting this thing sorted out. The longer you leave it, the worse it will be.. and the worse you will feel not knowing and continually guessing. You also have to take these 3 people you have had intercourse with into account, they need to know if you come back positive. Please get yourself tested as soon as you possibly could, you owe it to yourself, and those other guys as well.. Good luck..

 

[ilikewater]

Everyone is saying get tested and it is important. If you are negative then whew! But if it ends up positive it is not the end of the world!
It is scary having in incurable "disease" but most people don't even die from complications. I was diagnosed in '08ish, I got it from sharing a needle just once. My level was really low he (the doctor) said, like 2,000's. I have not had treatment and right now am not considering it because many people can live fine lives with hepatitis c (and treatment is more scary to me - my aunt had it, said it was like chemo with nausea and feeling run down, she lost some hair and it didn't grow back the same). Pretty much you just have to take care of yourself properly if you have it. I don't drink alcohol and take milk thistle (though not as regularly as I probably should).
If you do have it though you should know. No pressure though!
Take care.

*Also Hepatitis C is only transmitted through blood to blood contact. Someone's contaminated blood with have to get into the other's (like AIDS/HIV) which is why needle sharing it the top way to contract hepatitis C. SO if you do have it there is little chance that you would have spread it through sex(same aunt had her husband tested and he was clean - niether of them drug users for the record).