I've been clean of ecstasy over 3 years , to be more accurate I've done it once in the last 2 years and once before the the previous year, I'm tired of not having any feeling, I use to chop girls do easily, now I got dumped twice because I can't get my shut together, I feel just a mix of emotion, it's Like I'm boarderline bipolar , it's scary it's been to years, I just want my heart back, I feel a bit better mentally , I've currently on methadone for oxy habit, can thus be the reason why, if any one ( ex abusers) can relate when will I get feelings bac
-
The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
Posting Rules Bluelight Rules Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines Bereavement Mindfulness Suicide Support Anger Management -
TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android
Helpless, restless, and soulless
- Thread starter Angelz87
- Start date
cryptix420
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2010
- Messages
- 1,417
There's a much more likely chance that an opiate addiction is sucking the happiness out of your life than taking MDMA twice in 2 years. Many, many people take FAR more without many bad side effects. I see a trend of people blaming E for their problems, or drugs in general. It's not the drugs mate. You get out of life what you put in know what i mean?
Best of luck on feeling better.
Best of luck on feeling better.
Folley
Bluelighter
doing MDMA twice wont cause long lasting personality disorders... or any kind of damage...
why would you think a drug you have done twice would cause that kind of damage, when your addicted to oxy?
why would you think a drug you have done twice would cause that kind of damage, when your addicted to oxy?
First Bad Comedown
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2010
- Messages
- 562
If your use of e was substantial, it is quite possible that you are still experiencing trouble - even after 2 years abstinence.
Most 'heavy' users do recover from 'clinical' symptoms of depression/anxiety within 2 years.
But some research suggests a lingering deficit in serotonin function beyond the 'clinical' recovery.
We have stories of people on BL suffering past the 2 year mark, although even the worst ones typically report some progress. I have seen former SSRI users claim to be without normal emotions for more than a decade!
But my experience with both MDMA and SSRI users suggests that most people DO make major progress within 18 months of ABSTINENCE.
The greatest obstacle for 'recovery' would be the avoidance of true abstinence.
Oxy is a very heavy-hitter in the opiate world and this is the most likely candidate for your failure to recover.
Many former MDMA users describe odd reactions to other drugs, opiates included.
I would guess that you started using it to cope with the lack of feeling in life.
Bad call.
MDMA damages the serotonin network - which directly impacts the dopamine system.
As the brain is 're-wired' and serotonin axons are re-distributed, the abnormal flow of serotonin can cause a dopamine blockade. Serotonin directly inhibits the flow of dopamine.
This is the cause of anhedonia and psychosis, IMO.
Eventually the brain establishes a capacity to handle this serotonin, and this is seen with SERT expression.
However, some research shows that SERT recovery in the cortex is very limited or absent - even after 2+ years.
More research needs to be done to determine the truly long-term recovery of SERT.
Many opiates impact not only dopamine, but serotonin as well.
You have no business being on oxy or methadone if you EVER expect to 're-wire' your serotonin system.
Some of the WORST failure-to-recover stories I have read, both with MDMA and SSRIs, involve the use of different drugs to cope.
In some cases the people go back to their doctor and try a variety of other anti-depressants.
In other cases, they pick opiates because they still seem to work.
This can be VERY bad news.
You are detracting from your brain's natural plasticity.
The use of MANY drugs directly inhibits the process known as 'adult neurogenesis'.
Even cigarettes can decrease the introduction of STEM cells into the brain.
Did you know that one of the 2 MAJOR sites for STEM cell proliferation in the human brain is the olfactory bulb?
This is one of the reasons people retain a keen sense of smell throughout their lives.
More importantly - this is a VERY important area as it supplies the frontal lobes with new DOPAMINE producing neurons.
Not only are you taking a drug that increases dopamine and possibly down-regulates dopamine receptors....
But you are inhibiting the brain's ability to regrow neurons that produce dopamine.
And you STILL probably have some type of dopamine blockade caused by substandard serotonin transmission.
Rolling again during your initial recovery was unwise.
But taking oxy was very foolish.
I must admit to using a little bit of opiates myself this year - but in very careful moderation.
Methadone itself is misused and abused - and it is also hindering your recovery.
Too many people have lived on 'methadone therapy' for YEARS.
There is no medical excuse for this, and it highlights the abject failure of medicine.
Your ONLY hope is to slowly withdraw from the poison you are taking.
Start taking fish oil and turmeric every day.
And exercise.
Every.
Day.
Working out releases a serotonin growth-factor, BDNF.
Most recovering MDMA users that I have been in contact with work out regularly - and they do NOT take oxy or methadone.
You should expect life to get worse, not better, first.
It may take you another 2-3 years of REAL abstinence and hard-work before you feel alive again.
Is it worth it to you?
I feel your pain.
I wish you the best.
Most 'heavy' users do recover from 'clinical' symptoms of depression/anxiety within 2 years.
But some research suggests a lingering deficit in serotonin function beyond the 'clinical' recovery.
We have stories of people on BL suffering past the 2 year mark, although even the worst ones typically report some progress. I have seen former SSRI users claim to be without normal emotions for more than a decade!
But my experience with both MDMA and SSRI users suggests that most people DO make major progress within 18 months of ABSTINENCE.
The greatest obstacle for 'recovery' would be the avoidance of true abstinence.
Oxy is a very heavy-hitter in the opiate world and this is the most likely candidate for your failure to recover.
Many former MDMA users describe odd reactions to other drugs, opiates included.
I would guess that you started using it to cope with the lack of feeling in life.
Bad call.
MDMA damages the serotonin network - which directly impacts the dopamine system.
As the brain is 're-wired' and serotonin axons are re-distributed, the abnormal flow of serotonin can cause a dopamine blockade. Serotonin directly inhibits the flow of dopamine.
This is the cause of anhedonia and psychosis, IMO.
Eventually the brain establishes a capacity to handle this serotonin, and this is seen with SERT expression.
However, some research shows that SERT recovery in the cortex is very limited or absent - even after 2+ years.
More research needs to be done to determine the truly long-term recovery of SERT.
Many opiates impact not only dopamine, but serotonin as well.
You have no business being on oxy or methadone if you EVER expect to 're-wire' your serotonin system.
Some of the WORST failure-to-recover stories I have read, both with MDMA and SSRIs, involve the use of different drugs to cope.
In some cases the people go back to their doctor and try a variety of other anti-depressants.
In other cases, they pick opiates because they still seem to work.
This can be VERY bad news.
You are detracting from your brain's natural plasticity.
The use of MANY drugs directly inhibits the process known as 'adult neurogenesis'.
Even cigarettes can decrease the introduction of STEM cells into the brain.
Did you know that one of the 2 MAJOR sites for STEM cell proliferation in the human brain is the olfactory bulb?
This is one of the reasons people retain a keen sense of smell throughout their lives.
More importantly - this is a VERY important area as it supplies the frontal lobes with new DOPAMINE producing neurons.
Not only are you taking a drug that increases dopamine and possibly down-regulates dopamine receptors....
But you are inhibiting the brain's ability to regrow neurons that produce dopamine.
And you STILL probably have some type of dopamine blockade caused by substandard serotonin transmission.
Rolling again during your initial recovery was unwise.
But taking oxy was very foolish.
I must admit to using a little bit of opiates myself this year - but in very careful moderation.
Methadone itself is misused and abused - and it is also hindering your recovery.
Too many people have lived on 'methadone therapy' for YEARS.
There is no medical excuse for this, and it highlights the abject failure of medicine.
Your ONLY hope is to slowly withdraw from the poison you are taking.
Start taking fish oil and turmeric every day.
And exercise.
Every.
Day.
Working out releases a serotonin growth-factor, BDNF.
Most recovering MDMA users that I have been in contact with work out regularly - and they do NOT take oxy or methadone.
You should expect life to get worse, not better, first.
It may take you another 2-3 years of REAL abstinence and hard-work before you feel alive again.
Is it worth it to you?
I feel your pain.
I wish you the best.
Sorry op.
But is anyone else tired of these threads, seems like half the threads are "this is wrong" "blame this on e" "depressed". Or, took E and now I feel .... binged on E and now.....
Drugs have side effects.
Stop blaming the drug and take responsibility for your actions. Live healthy and work on it. Posting about it isn't gona do much.
But is anyone else tired of these threads, seems like half the threads are "this is wrong" "blame this on e" "depressed". Or, took E and now I feel .... binged on E and now.....
Drugs have side effects.
Stop blaming the drug and take responsibility for your actions. Live healthy and work on it. Posting about it isn't gona do much.
NeighborhoodThreat
Bluelight Crew
This is more of The Dark Side conversation, I'll move it over there for you, OP.
ED --> TDS
ED --> TDS
FBC thanks for your help, and for the guys that are hating it's not that simple I'm long past that state, and if you think you manage drugs better then others your going down a long road my friend.. FBC I had s hitch that was the problem but with work it's been hard to go cold turkey this winter when my work seasons done I'm just gonna live at home and try to work out , I've been clean once before when I went to Italy I was clean for 2 months I was actually getting my strength back, it sucks that the best of my years are spent like this I'm only 24, thx for your input