• LAVA Moderator: Shinji Ikari

Help?

He's a liar and a thief.
And he (probably) spend money he didn't even have on things he didn't even realy need.
Now he gets handed the bill. Darwin award to you, Jim.
No need to feel bad for this kind of person imo.
 
to echo others, cut contact with him. he's an alchoholic who stole from a "friend" for giving him free drinks. does that not strike you as majorly fucked up? i'm betting that if he feels *that* pressured to pay his debt, he would just steal again.
 
So I have a bit of a problem. I just got a message on Facebook this morning from an old friend, asking me for money to help him pay off his debt to some 'bad people' that he acquired from some sort of drug problem.

Here's the background info, might be a little important to fully explain the situation..

So last year in March I met this fellow (let's call him Jim) at a drum n bass show, and so we chatted for a bit before exchanging names and adding one another on FB. I saw him at a lot of events, and naturally we'd hang out, chat, and dance. I only hung out with him once or twice outside of 'party atmospheres.' He was a bit of a strange guy, but he was entertaining and he was someone to chill with at events. I found out soon that he was a bit of an alcoholic and a ketamine addict, but I'm not extremely judgmental and since he seemed pretty cool I didn't really care.

So anyways, one night in May/June we were at this show with some of my friends, and he was drunk (as always) and doing whatever. He came up to me midway through the night and complained to me about how this one rich 'chunky' chick always followed him to clubs/bars and tried to get him drunk so she could take him home. Of course, he didn't like her, so he just used her as a free source of alcohol, lol. He told me that he was going to get revenge on her of some sort, idk why, but apparently he was pretty annoyed by her because she constantly and heavily hit on him to the point that he was actually starting to get a bit pissed about it.

An hour before the show ended, he came up to me and excitedly shoved an iPhone4 into my hands and asked me if I knew how to get the sim card out. He told me that he had found it on the ground. I told him that we should try to return it to lost and found.. but he insisted that I do it, so I did. Call me a bad person, whatever... anyways.. I flushed the sim down a toilet and then brought the phone back to him. Once the show ended and we had walked a bit of a ways away, he thanked me profusely for helping him and then said that I could just keep it, since he already had two phones. He said that I had been a decent friend to him and that since my normal phone was a piece of shit I deserved an upgrade. So, ok, I accepted the offer..

A few days later he told me that he had stolen it from the fat rich chick, and that she had told him that she must have lost her phone at the club, oblivious to the fact that he had actually stolen it. I wasn't really sure what to think of this.. lol.. wasn't really that impressed by the fact that he had actually stolen a phone as 'revenge.' Anyways, he told me that he was kind of broke at the moment and needed cash, and that he would like to sell the iPhone that he'd given to me, but that since he said I could keep it and saw that I was happy with it, he'd let me have it for keeps.

I saw him a few times after that, but since the summer he kind of just disappeared and we haven't really spoken much at all.

However, today, randomly, he sends me this message (edited a bit)



Now, I REALLY don't know what to think of this.
At first, I felt really bad. I haven't talked to him in a while, as I said, but he was still a decent friend (albeit for a short period of time) and I don't want anyone to get hurt. However, it's not really my problem that he got into drugs that caused him to fall into debt. I'm 18 years old, he is in his mid 20s. I work a minimum wage job on the weekends and I don't make enough to 'compensate' him. I don't plan on giving him the phone, since I'm currently using it and it has lots of my stuff on it that would be a pain in the ass to transfer, etc. I never made his bad decisions for him.

He messages me out of the blue after not speaking to me for months, and like I said, we weren't the best of friends, we would just chill now and then at clubs, pretty much. Now it is my problem that he owes people because of the phone that he stole and gave to me. Yeah, maybe that's karma for accepting a stolen item, but at the time I didn't know it was stolen until it was too late. And that is in the past and besides the point right now.

There are some fishy parts to the story.

An iPhone 4 can probably be sold on the internet for around $3-400 (it's a 16gig). If he wants compensation, or to sell the phone.. well.. what kind of drug dealers kill others over such small sums? It's not worth their while. Why would they want to have to deal with disposing of a body, as well as attracting more attention to themselves, seeing as they already partake in illegal activities? It doesn't really add up.

And since I know he is a drug addict and an alcoholic, there is also the chance that he is just trying to make me feel sorry for him so he can obtain some money to score more drugs. He has been known to steal things.. I believe I remember him telling me he stole a wallet and another phone, plus he's "found" many other electronic devices and money at parties before.



So my question is.. what do I do? Is he trying to trick me into giving him money to support a habit, or is he actually in need of my help? Am I a bitch for thinking that he might not be in trouble? Should I give him a bit of cash as a thanks at least, for giving me the phone in the first place? Idfk what to think of this or what to do. So you tell me..

Tell him to fuck off and stop hanging out with immature thieves. Stealing a phone from a chick that "annoys" him by hitting on him but he happily accepts alcohol from her? Ok, I'm sure he didn't mislead her at all. What a fucking pussy. How about you return the phone to the girl, tell her that he stole it and tell him to sleep in the bed he made.

If you give him money for the phone you are rewarding him for stealing and thereby rewarding him for being a disgusting human being, furthermore if you continue to associate with him you have no right to complain or be upset if he steals from you or any of your friends.
 
Last edited:
I would totally ignore him. Don't enter into any communication with him as he will just keep pestering you until he gets something out of you.
Can you change your number?
This bloke is hardly a blood brother to you he is just a chancer who is probably hassleing other people as well as yourself to see what he can get.
Help him out once and then every time he needs cash you would be the first person he would ask for cash.
 
I haven't responded to the message and he hasn't said anything since
 
If you still go out and there is a decent chance you will see him I would mentally prepare yourself for that encounter now.
 
I don't know if I would go that far necessarily but if he is a loose cannon then he might make some sort of scene. If you have a group of friends you normally rave with just make sure they know what's up, you don't have to tell them the whole story but make sure they know to keep an eye on you.
 
If you still go out and there is a decent chance you will see him I would mentally prepare yourself for that encounter now.
probably not, he's often on the island, and also he goes to shows at places where I'm not old enough to attend anyways. I'm not really worried about running into him
 
yeah I really wouldnt call this guy an "old" friend. I'd say at most hes an acquaintance, and some he seems shadey as all get out. Im assuming he doesnt have much of your info as he contacted you on facebook, im guess he doesnt have your number or know where you live.

Unless he shows up at your place, or does something else rash i would just not answer him. If you have the phone back that would involve meeting up with him, and I wouldnt want to do that. This guy is either lying or he is in some really deep shit. If anything he happened to say IS true i feel very bad for the guy, but i dont recommend you put your self in danger by trying to help him. It might seem cold to say, but if he does have drug dealer after him, and they see you help him they might assume you have more money. So i advise trying to have as little to do with this guy as possible!
 
What kind of an asshole gifts you something he stole than has audacity to ask money for it months later? I kind of agreed at first with the idea about giving the phone back but it looks like you need it more than the girl whose it was anyway and I just plain wouldn't hand it back to the guy for being a major cunt about it.
 
Unless he shows up at your place, or does something else rash i would just not answer him. If you have the phone back that would involve meeting up with him, and I wouldnt want to do that. This guy is either lying or he is in some really deep shit. If anything he happened to say IS true i feel very bad for the guy, but i dont recommend you put your self in danger by trying to help him. It might seem cold to say, but if he does have drug dealer after him, and they see you help him they might assume you have more money. So i advise trying to have as little to do with this guy as possible!
this is what I was thinking. I'm hoping that he's not actually in trouble. I think he would have been more persistant if he was.. in any case I'm just going to wait and see if anything else comes up because it's really hard to tell whether he's telling the truth or not. We don't really have any mutual friends, except for the friends I introduced to him, and they haven't really spoken with him either so it's not like I can ask someone if he really is in trouble. If we did, I would have asked around about it..
 
D n A said:
I'd be willing to help him out with a bit of cash,

Why?! After everything you said next, you'd be willing to help him out with a bit of cash?

D n A said:
he gave me the phone almost a year ago and hasnt even bothered talking to me or suggesting that we hang out within the past 6 months. He disappears and then randomly messages me out of the blue asking me for money? Am I supposed to be a good friend to him when he hasn't been one to me? I had tried to keep in contact with him but like I said it was as if he disappeared. So wtf?

He's using you, nothing more. I doubt he's in serious trouble OR that he'd even bother following you up if you don't get back to him. He's probably just putting out feelers for money wherever he can, and appealing to your kind nature.

Fuck this guy! I don't think you should even entertain the idea of helping him out. The only reason I think you should even consider giving him back the phone is if, like others have said, he knows where you live or you're likely to bump into him, and you think he'd be dangerous.

Seriously, he steals a phone, then suddenly desperately needs it back? It wasn't even his to begin with! Tell the fuck it got stolen off you a couple of months back. This guy sounds dodgy as fuck. Ask yourself what he'd do if you appealed to him for money in the same situation. He sounds like a terrible friend, and not only that, a negative influence that should be cut out of your life completely.
 
Seriously, he steals a phone, then suddenly desperately needs it back? It wasn't even his to begin with! Tell the fuck it got stolen off you a couple of months back.
Yes, but the problem is that it's now in my hands, and it wasn't mine to begin with either. I don't know the girl, what she looks like, anything, so I can't return it to her.
I post to Facebook using the phone, and on status updates/photos it says if you have uploaded from an iPhone or other, so it's obvious that I still have it.

He's not dangerous. I knew him as a fairly good person, other than the fact that he was a thief and alcoholic. I don't think he would ever hurt anyone, especially a girl. He doesn't know my address. He may still have my phone number, but I think he switched phones so I'm not really sure about that one, but he hasn't contacted me via text in a long while.
 
Top