Help!

noreason41

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 18, 2008
Messages
58
Location
Melbourne Australia
My name's Stefan, i'm 19 living in Melbourne in Aus.

I've been feeling particularly depressed over the last 2 months (more then just the normal miserable life i lead) - and have started seeing a psychiatrist for severe social anxiety, which is leading to depression.

My problem is that despite what he tells me, despite the benzo prescription i've got, despite all the guaranteed evidence that this 'could' work....i can't believe it.

I can't get out of that hopeless feeling, every time i try to overcome my social phobia, i fail.

Every time i've tried to talk to a girl, I fail.

Theirs nothing i can do about it, i'm not sure if the above even makes sense. But i just see my life as one failure after another, followed by another failure....and then all of a sudden their seems like theirs hope (ie:last 7 days), it proves to be false hope and i just fail again.

I've never actually planned suicide, but i've considered it too many times to remember. I consider it virtually every hour every day now, but i know i just can't act on it. I'm weak for that.

What's the point of trying when it only ever leads to failure?
 
The only way we learn is by failing. Life's about looking at your mistakes, understanding them, and then doing better the next time. I have some anxiety problems right now too. It can be really hard staying positive but you gotta keep your head up and remember that despite everything your mind is telling you everything will be ok.
 
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I really do feel for you man. In fact, I sometimes feel the same way. Best thing to do is just try and tell yourself the world will be okay. I know my words can't really change you but i just want to try and help by letting you know I've been through what you are going through and in the end things have actually gotten better one way or another. And yes, the bad feelings have returned at times but there are ways to shut them down. Like paridiso said, the only way we learn is by failing.

Peace
 
hey dude watsup ive got social anxiety too im on 3 dif. meds and have been for 6 months and right now im doing "o.k."... which is DEF not good enough for LIFE, nah mean (lol) but 6 months ago when i wasnt on any meds i couldnt watch tv cuz the people would make me nervous and even give me dry mouth. i couldnt yawn in public. i couldnt look people in the street in the eye and trains made me CRAZY. its like, i would feel the looks and stares from people in a physical way, like their eyes were pushing me or attacking me so to speak. but now ALL of that is gone. all. i still am mad as hell that this mental illness just happened to land on my head (wasnt caused by anything just gradually kinda happened, used to be EXTREMELY social), but hey dude, at least I see friends everyday, go on trains completely unaffected, party my arse off lol, talk to MANY women (i see its hard for you to do, boy was it hard for me as well) and go to the gym regularly. shit, this was supposed to be brief. i guess all im trying to say is, when you feel hopeless and think nothing will ever change, go for a fucking bike ride. LOL
oh, by the way- whether you like what im about to say or not, or dont believe it or do, people with social anxiety are very special. they are very special because they are too weak to impose their beliefs on others. this can be a very very good thing. there are too many power-crazy people out there who have real bad karma. if you dont have any beliefs, people will see you as socially valuable. and asshole people that will see that part of you and try to use it to their own advantage will be met with the strength of good people who will come to your side and defend you; for they know you are truely good. gah, i hope that came out right. i havent slept in days.
 
Hey man, welcome to Bluelight, Let me say first im in a hole too, on several different meds, severe General anxiety, ive experienced Agrophobia, im Extremley down and out,In therapy, cant cheat myself from life as i got a kid, i just cant do it...
By all means use the benzos they can help shortterm although they are just a mask half of the time, and now im in the throws of dependance...

As for why we seem to fail @ everything i cant explain..... Although i remember the times where there were good days/times, and i recon if i let go of that things will never ever get any better.

Im feelin 4 ya hey, theres lots of folk here in a similar boat, hang in there, theres good advice to be had here.
hope 2 c some more posts and maybe things looking up 4 u in the near future
seems like a deep hole.... told we can climb out but im a little low on optimisim atm:\

much <3 dont let go hey, if theres any hope 4 me...there must be 4 everyone else, im about bottom of the barrel right now.
 
I have to agree that benzo can fuck you up pretty bad if you start to become dependent on them to feel "normal".

My best advice is to hang in there. Eventually things will get better. Eventually you'll be confident in your own personality to do whatever you want.
 
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