Help with Isolation and Coping

[feedtheSoul]

Hey fellow BL'ers, feedtheSoul here. This past month or two it appears that my depression has returned, not nearly what it used to be, but enough that I've started isolating myself again.

I work about 30 hours a week and that is usually my social times, as it's a team-based job so we are able to socialize while working. I'm more than happy to help any customer as well as attempt to brighten their day by being a friendly server.

I live at home with my parents so its not like I go home to an empty house.

However, when I get home I get things preparered for the next day, then I spend the rest of the evening smoking weed. I blow through half an oz every week right up to pay day and repeat. I do get invited to hang out with friends but I turn them down almost always.

It could be related to my fibromyalgia, if anyone is familiar with the spoon theory, it's like that. I only have so many spoons per day that I can use on tasks before I run out.

Any way, we all know isolation feels like crap. Does anyone have thoughts or ideas to help me choose to say yes? I always feel in too much pain and fatigue that I often cannot mentally process socializing, I always think my friends will have more fun without me if I'm just going to be grumpy.

Today my dad is helping me file my taxes and help me write my resume so I can look for a job with less physical labor so that I can actually work full time, so I think thats a start.

 

[whatsreal]

I have lots of dumb questions you have probably already considered, so please bear with me

Can you have them come to you? Even one or two friend visits can make the difference for me (I am a quasi-introverted spoonie)
If you have enough spoons can you do a right after work hangout - just meet up for coffee or whatever?
Anybody into google hangouts or skyping?
Maybe friends could meet up at your place to get ready to go out and then text and skype you throughout their night. You can be included but not exhausted

As for how to say yes, that one is so so hard for me. In the past I have made myself a promise that I will commit to x number of things per week or month so then I know I *have* to say yes to something that sounds decent or I'll get stuck doing something I don't want to later in the month, lol.

Fibro is rough. Are you able to do yoga or meditation? I recommend it for everything.
I am so impressed with how you are actively seeking solutions. Well done and good luck.

Update if you want, I'd love to hear how you are doing... good or bad!

 

[Mysterie]

u smoke half an oz of weed a week?

if so, that is a lot. perhaps your desire to see your friends would increase if you can cut down?

if ur abusing weed i can see how that could lead to isolation and also a heightened level of anxiety about it.

i know how much it hurts to feel alienated from the rest of the world, but i am starting to eat healthier again and take care of my body through exercise, and i have faith that this will elevate my spirits and thus give me more energy to share with the people around me.

 

[Cdkman]

U need to cut the weed down my friend..I used to smoke a quarter a week and I would be filled with social anxiety..now I only smoke a bowl before bed and it is a lot easier to leave the house and go out 2 or 3 nights a week..like a poster above me said maybe your friends can come to u and take a walk or watch a movie and socialize..of course everyone is different..just my 2 cents