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Help with first stages of addiction to multiple substances

T

triphead34

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 16, 2010
Messages
61
Location
N.Ireland
Before i start im a good guy, very spiritual smoked loads of dmt, probably 100+ acid trips never mind 4-aco, shrooms, 2c etc had proper ego death 3 r 4 times, but now im taking more downers, very broke for money at the minute taking diazepam with denpose 10 written on the strip, active ingredients 10mg diazepam, smoking smack a bit but only really got into it in the past 2 months, drinking alcohol nearly every day, always feel the urge for it, but could do without it if i cudnt get any but its getting harder,anyways the real problem is i go into off liscenses and steal 2 5 glasses of vodka + started shoplifting a lot with alcohol plus other things to save moeny, please dont look down on me im disgraced with myself but when im on the diazes i need to do it, the diazes have a strane effect,they get you diazed but they have a kick to them aswell,sort of an energetic buzz that makes you up for doing anyting and not care unlike uk prescribed ones or most others ive took, please dont judge me i came on here wanting advice, anyways im planning on a 600+mic acid trip this week to try and sort it out a bit,

its got to the point where i know im going to get in trouble if it keeps going on and i would like advice please not abuse, as i said im nt like this and i think im starting to get a problem with downers mostly alcohol + diazes but its got to the point whre any strong downer does the job eg ket,

hopefully thanks for any advice/ previous experiences
 
I can relate to this a great deal.
I got into Opiates for escapism (Alcoholic mum), had the death of all of my Grandparents in quick succession and ended up being scripted Diazepam and Codeine, but still using gear and ended up drinking loads too.

I don't really have the brain to give any advice right now, but I would suggest that you may be able to get more help if I moved this thread over to The Dark Side. So if you would like any of the mods here to move it over there (go have a look over there and see if it would be preferable) then just let us know.

I'll try give you a full story / any help I can offer in time mate. Just please take care of yourself <3
 
be careful most with the valiums, you'll encounter a rattle from hell that makes clucking for smack feel like a mild cold.
 
thanks guys,i know valium is the real reason why im doin this shit but i feel like i need to be downered out nearly ever night, eg trying to get leftovers of already chased bits of foil just to feel the slightest bit better, ive went through valium addiction befor ebut never with loads of alcohol and brown now and again and i just feel its the worst ive been, ive been flat out on meph etc stayin up for days last yr etc and had all the sleep paralysis and paranoia problems but this is different, its to escape,also i have had 2 close family members die in the past 3 months and i cant help but hinking what they woudl think if they saw me now and i just wnat to get drunk and whatever else, really dosent depend on the substance really, just how powerful it is, but i can still hold down a degreee at uni during the day its just every night when i get home and go on the computer
 
should i just copy and paste or will a mod move it? im not beyond help yet, i do not have a problem with opiates yet i just greatly enjoy them, just alcohol is starting to get a grip of me and diazes + alcohol for me is just like super alcohol, plus i was a major k fiend when i could get it dirt cheap buti dont have the money to spend 20 a g or whatever now when that will last me maybe not eeven 2 hits, im serious about taking a huge acid dose with maybe some dmt to help me sort myslef out a bit more, ive took huge amounts of cid before and not lieing i have been scared but ive nto ran around freaking out, ive lay ther ein bed tihnking strongly about my life and how to change it, i really thnk its teh diazes that are doing the damage, they encourage me to steal alcohol to increase the hit, if a mod feels this thread would be better in a dif section feel free and let me know because i want to get back on track befor eits too late

thanks to everyone
 
Yea I think TDS would be a more useful section for this form of post :)
You will get a worldly view rather than purely a Euro view.

I'll move it over there but there'll be a form of thread-link here for 7 days so you don't become totally confuzzled and lost!

Good luck man :)

EADD ---> TDS

p.s Ello TDS!
 
Downers were my thing too. I pretty much only did uppers in order to stay awake to do more downers. I have heard valium referred to as "alcohol in a pill." There's something to that. Alcohol addiction and downers go hand in hand. Its wise that you are thinking big thoughts and assessing your use. I never bothered with that and it took me deep down the rabbit hole. I was totally afraid of hallucinogens later in my addiction because I was afraid of facing truth. It sounds like you are not. Just be aware that the longer you stay submerged and sedated the harder it is to come up for air. As for the stealing. I doubt anyone would judge you for that here. I don't. I did some fucked up shit when I was using and it was attributable to my addiction not my character. It doesn't mean you aren't to blame because drugs don't supplant accountability but I do think we do things because drugs are in control. When I came to my senses and started thinking straight I started coming to terms with that concept. Best of luck on your trip and in general.
 
tbh man im 20 and i started weed ant 15 nd in those 5 years ive took every clas of drugs to the extreme, first weed, then proper good mdma pills before the drought, then good coke, then way way too may psychedelics and diazes throughout the whole time, then meph, and diazes throught th e whole period now not too mention gram lines of ket for a few months just before the drought,its really alcohol and diazes now, and dippin in and out of smack now any again aloong with oxys etc, tbh my head state feels alot beter when im on the downers but i get up at 8 oclock in the mornin sweet maybe eat 1 diaze, but when i finish my classes i just want to drink or take a stron form of downer, been to counciling before but it was when i was a big stoner and stim user and weed is like water to me basically now i get bored even if im stoned its nt strong enuf i need k or somethign to properly get u out of it and i know its not toolate for help as i could be a heroin addict which wold be much worse but im sitting here drinking a 10 glass of vodka which i stole from an off liscense cus i knew diazes wouldnt be enough, im not a scumbag im just starting to have more problems, any form of advice would be greatly appreciated tbh im 19 and ive taken every drug ive heard of apart from crystal meph and im not proud, i have a big name for myself in my area and i want people to give me advice please as im 19, 20 in 2 months and fuck knows if i contiue what il belike in 5-10 years :(

thanks
 
Hey dude, i totally can relate to your story. Im 24 now and have been into quite a few drugs. I had to crash to realize that i really had a problem, being buzzed out for weeks straight not going to classes or work or meeting friends any more. Before that i lived a "normal" life as you did, doing universoty and pushing the "off" switch when i came home in the evening.

In contrast to me you seem to still have more grip on life. You reflect yourself very clearly and are aware of the disaster you are running into. This is such a precious insight you achieved all by yourself. Most of us realize that not before they are deep into their addiction.
Use that to take action right now! Do you have a friend or relative to whom you can freely about your problems? That would surely be of great benefit. Apart from that TDS will always be there for you if you need to talk/write.
I think it would also be helpful to get some professional treatment. I know its a big step to drop all defenses in front of a complete stranger but no one will judge you.

Take care of yourself and stay safe!
 
i think you right man, i need to go to another counciller and say its progressed heroin, alcohoisim, and diazepam+ k when i can get it cheap as ots starting to turn into a real problem but its really polydrug abuse, i need them all together, i need to try and start some programme and its good that i have a best mate who is in the same position who really wants to stop with me, bu tto be honest i really beleive i will never be able to stop drugs completley, i will always buy pills nd k goin to a fest, coke etc going clubbing and i know i will prob take acid for life as i see it more as s spiritual tool and not a drug of abuse and i just love cid i just need to control myslef better, but all this info is greatly appreciated, many thnaks
 
It sounds like you've got a plan, and an excellent one at that :)

No one will judge you in here. Drug addiction is a hugely powerful force and can drive people to do things they would never consider otherwise. Shoplifting might be a bad thing, but it does not make you a bad person. It's really important to keep telling yourself that :)

Seeing a counsellor again and being honest with them will help you a lot I think - you won't be carrying the burden alone and they can help you get things back on track. For some people, cutting all drugs out completely is what they need to do otherwise they slip back, for others it's the problem-drug(s) that needs to be stopped, and forcing a blanket ban on all drugs can sometimes be a bit like turning it into forbidden fruit - all the more tempting to mess up and have a big binge. This would be a good thing to talk over with a counsellor I think..

Good luck! :) <3
 
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