Heroin Help with deciding to detox or not. Help much appreciated.

[phillycheese]

Hi everyone,

So I've been using H on and off for the last 10 months now, and I'm having a ridiculous time getting off for good. The reason why I get high is to control the symptoms of my anxiety (I've gone to many doctors for the treatment of anxiety, some prescribe benzodiazipines, some try me on blood pressure medication. So far I've tried almost all pharmaceutical medications (lots of SSRIs, SNRIs, Buspar, Hydroxyzine, and Propronolol). The only thing that really works unfortunately is benzodiazipines, which my new doctor cut me off of it because he didn't feel comfortable prescribing it. So I really only have a few Klonopins left . My anxiety is pretty severe to a point where I have physical pain in my ears, ringing in my ears, and I've also noticed that my hearing has decreased since my anxiety.) Heroin cures all of it.

My last shot was exactly 30 hours ago. I haven't had any real withdrawals since then, except trouble sleeping-in the morning.

So now I'm wondering, after 30 hours, am I still physically withdrawing. I mean I never had any real symptoms. Unless they are still to come?
I went on a 4 or maybe even 5 day period of using. But right now I feel fine (expect for the anxiety). So am I ok or could there be more withdrawals to come?

And if I am fine, then I would feel compelled to use. Ugh I hate this.

It's all BS, this anxiety, this addiction, all of it. I don't know what to do. If I don't get anymore benzos prescribed then I am f-ed. Then I don't know what to do. Please help

 

[phillycheese]

It's hurting me financially too....ugh

 

[dopemegently]

By the sound of it you were lucky enough to get away with extremely mild WD; you should be in withdrawal well after 30 hours unless you have a very slow metabolism, in which case there is a small chance your symptoms could intensify. I have to say that this sounds fairly unlikely, though. You're in a perfect position to get off the shit permanently and never look back; feeling compelled to use merely because you have mild WD symptoms would be a very, very bad idea. If I were you, I'd just keep going with your detox.

 

[phillycheese]

Yeah definitely I agree and I thank you for the support. I just don't know what I will do to control my anxiety

 

[Mr.Scagnattie]

How long were you using every day for consecutively? Have you ever had a physical dependency before?

 

[phillycheese]

How long were you using every day for consecutively? Have you ever had a physical dependency before?

I have had a very small physcial dependency before. The most was maybe 6 or 7 days. In the 10 month habit even, I never went 3 days without using. I hear the withdrawals get worse after every withdrawal session. Is that why you were asking?

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

Learning to deal with feelings life without drugs delivers...one of the most difficult things to conquer in the process of getting clean. When I was going through it the most important thing was to remember was that each awkward/painful experience was part of the learning process and in a funny way pain is the process of 'weakness' leaving the body. Everything is an opportunity to grow. Always try to keep your eyes on the bigger picture. Just what worked for me.

 

[phillycheese]

Learning to deal with feelings life without drugs delivers...one of the most difficult things to conquer in the process of getting clean. When I was going through it the most important thing was to remember was that each awkward/painful experience was part of the learning process and in a funny way pain is the process of 'weakness' leaving the body. Everything is an opportunity to grow. Always try to keep your eyes on the bigger picture. Just what worked for me.

thank you for sharing this. its definitely helping.

i think i might be going through some withdrawals. I feel that heavy feeling like a train is about to run me over-type feeling. and mental clarity is decreasing :0

 

[dopemegently]

It sounds like it hasn't got it's claws into you yet; you're in a lucky position. I think the withdrawals become worse as you become more emotionally dependent on the drug. Also, the longer you use it, the more of your pain receptors the drug will fuck with. The shortest amount of time it took me to form a true physical dependence on the drug was around 12-14 days, at two injections a day. So, you were probably coming close to the cusp of a physical dependence. BTW, the reason I said to keep going with your detox was because a true heroin withdrawal is imo one of the most unpleasant, unbearable feelings the human body can endure.

 

[Mr.Scagnattie]

I have had a very small physcial dependency before. The most was maybe 6 or 7 days. In the 10 month habit even, I never went 3 days without using. I hear the withdrawals get worse after every withdrawal session. Is that why you were asking?

I was more asking to suss out if you even had a psychical dependency at the moment. If you do though, luckily it sounds minor and you'd be smart to kick it now before you keep using and you end up in a much deeper way. You're right, withdrawals do get worse the longer you use. Your kick now compared to what it will be 5 years from now will be a joke, forget about 5 years after that +. You end up looking back and remembering how light your withdrawals were years ago and really get pissed at yourself for not just quitting then because it gets pretty brutal.

 

[dopemegently]

Yeah, it gets so much fucking worse with time; give it a couple years, and you'll look back with nostalgia at this time-it becomes agonising, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy....