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Benzos Help - Will I have another seizure? VERY scared!(HIGH dose Xanax)

I am currently taking Xanax to help with my w/d from opiates how do o taper down without any w/d I only take 1 1/2 2mg bars per day
 
OP - I don't know if its possible for you to switch doctors - it's taken me a fair few to find a GP and a psychologist and so forth that are able and willing to work with me and prescribe to me sympathetically and sensibly provided I'm totally honest with them about what's going on, when I have slip-ups, what I need help with. It sucks that not everyone has access to the incredible standard of care I've recieved on the NHS, but I have had to deal with a lot of asshole doctors and really fight to get to see the amazing support team I see now. It's made so much more difficult because you are on a prescription that you don't want ended as well... personally, I'd try telling them this. Just, total honesty, 'I f***ed up, I really need your help, I'm terrified of having seizures, I can't be sure of the quality of what I'm buying, I don't want to be doing this anymore, please help me do this safely, or point me in the direction of someone that can.' I mean, I get my benzo taper from my Gp (family doctor), but subutex and whatnot I'd have to get through the drug unit, even though they all know that I see and use both services, they prescribe differently and sort of work together

Anyway, enough about how it works here, just worth thinking about different routes into prescribing and medically supervised tapering that may be available to you. It sounds like you have decent access to benzos of uncertain quality at least. Look up their equivalent strengths to one-another and take a look at the Ashton manual online. Even if you can't switch to diazepam as it advises, it has some good general info about addiction, withdrawal and tapering.
 
Thank you for such sweet words, Mankind. You made my day :) (and I'm female btw)

You're in my thoughts and prayers. I don't get tired of updates so keep em coming! :)

Stay SAFE. You're doing great! Don't ignore your instincts. Listen to your body. Be well my friend.

Sending lots of love, strength, and joy.

Peace.
 
How are you holding up, hon?

Peace.

Edit:
The prayer/meditation that I have referenced in other posts....thought maybe I'd post it. Mankind, I'm happy to edit it out of my post if you'd like. Just figured maybe it'd be comforting for you to read.

And if you find certain parts are difficult to read - whether out loud, or in your head - well, then, you'll know what you should work on, my friend.

I hope this finds you well...

*
My heart fills with Loving-Kindness. I love myself. May I be happy. May I be peaceful. May I be liberated.

May all Beings in this vicinity be happy. May they be peaceful. May they be liberated.

May all beings in (your town) be happy. May they be peaceful. May they be liberated.

May all Beings in (your state) be happy. May they be peaceful. May they be liberated.

May all Beings in the United States be happy. May they be peaceful. May they be liberated.

May all Beings in North America be happy. May they be peaceful. May they be liberated.

May all Beings on the Planet be happy. May they be peaceful. May they be liberated.

May my Parents be happy. May they be well. May they be peaceful. May they be liberated.

May my Friends be happy. May they be well. May they be peaceful. May they be liberated.

May my Enemies be happy. May they be well. May they be peaceful. May they be liberated.

If I have hurt anyone, knowingly or unknowingly, in thought or word or deed, I ask their forgiveness.

If anyone has hurt me, knowingly or unknowingly, in thought or word or deed, I extend my forgiveness.

May all Beings everywhere, whether near or far, whether known to me or unknown to me, be happy. May they be peaceful. May they be liberated.
<3

Peace.
 
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Thinking of you today, Mankind, and hoping you're well.

Sending you lots of positive energy, packed with love, strength, gratitude, peace, calm, and joy.

Taje good care of yourself and value your precious life. You are needed...you are valuable ...you are more loved than you know. We all are. :)

Peace.
 
ABetterWay said:
Thinking of you today, Mankind, and hoping you're well.

Sending you lots of positive energy, packed with love, strength, gratitude, peace, calm, and joy.

Taje good care of yourself and value your precious life. You are needed...you are valuable ...you are more loved than you know. We all are. :)

Peace.
Click to expand...

I think of this thread and you every day.....and it helps. I'm in like a semi-withdrawal state constantly, 24 hours a day, as I ween down. I have been taking 7 bars and it doesn't even keep me "normal" anymore. I am always depressed, sweaty, semi-nauseous, etc. This one is going to be really tough. I know for certain, having been to the local detox numerous times for opiates that they treat the benzo addicts with librium. I have no health insurance now that I got fired, plus my sub doc and prescription are already over $500 a month. Luckily I have a little "side" business or I'd literally be homeless.

This needs to stop.

This needs to stop ASAP.

I am semi proud of myself because I just picked up $800 in cash and didn't go buy green bars with it, when I know the dealer was just waiting for my call.

I need to get out of this spiral.

Thank you for your kindness. It truly does mean a lot to me <3
 
I'm so happy to be helpful :) Thank you.

You say 7 doesn't keep you normal. Maybe let your body adjust to 7 for a bit before cutting back? Safety is the key here.

*Edit: You described some withdrawal symptoms and ended with "etc". Are you having symptoms intense enough that it's putting you in.danger? You need to take whatever keeps you SAFE, even if that's more/a slower taper. Don't dismiss your symptom severity out of impatience or a desire to "not be a pussy" or something like that....that is dangerous thinking, and, if it's the kind of thing you're thinking, it's untrue. You are courageous. But not reckless. You seem to prefer extremes, my friend - find the middle way. Not too much, not too little. Be mindful of your physical body and what it tells you.*

You're doing it! You said "this needs to stop..." You ARE stopping this. You're doing GREAT. I'm so proud of you. I know you're going through hell....keep going. Each single day stacks up, adds up...and one day you will be liberated from the grip of these pills.

Seriously....CONGRATULATIONS to you, Mankind. I know it's not easy. But you're very strong inside. And wise. And I know you're listening to your body, and will do what you need to to stay safe and alive. You're so close!

You're SO CLOSE! :)

Be VERY proud of yourself. Really. You deserve it :)

You just keep putting one foot in front if the other, and soon you will have walked an amazing path...one day, this will be behind you, and you will smile with pride, knowing how much stronger you are than you ever thought you were.

Think of that....isn't that incredible? One day this will be behind you, as something you SURVIVED. Wow :)

Don't get overwhelmed...one thing at a time. Just get off the benzos now...one thing at a time my friend. It adds up big.

Feel free to message me is you ever want extra support, I'm happy to listen and send you strength.

Again, thank you for your kind words. They mean more than you know to someone like me.

Be well, friend :)

Peace.

P.S. One more post to official Bluelighterdom!!! It's 50 posts, yes? :)
 
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Thinking of you. Pictured you having trouble sleeping, and reluctantly grtting up to move around and start your day. I know it's hard right now.

It WILL PASS.

It will.

You got this, my friend :)

You will get through this hell, and then, knowing what suffering feels like, you will be better equipped to reach out to another person you see in your current position, and help them.

Everything has a reason...or at the very least, a lesson to be learned. Once we learn a lesson fully, we stop being tested.

I'm learning my own lessons now. I can't wait to be in a better position in life, so I can change the lives of others with all I learn :)

It's exciting. We all have such power within us. You will be one who realizes this power. I see it in you.

Peace. :)
 
Go mankind---making the most important and difficult step. Now that you have acknowledged your need to stop you need to acknowledge you have control and it is only when you take control of your life will things improve
 
Hello, Mankind! :)

Hope you're having a great day! When I woke up I felt agitated. I centerrd myself as best as I could, and each time I start feeling anxious and annoyed, I'm reminding myself that that does nobody (including me) any good. So, I'm trying not to limit myself and my opportunities today, with a bad attitude.

So far, I'm doing well! I'm not this good at this every single day. But today is gonna be a good day no matter what :)

Sending you this same energy today - close your eyes and open your heart, take a deep, cleansing breath, and let yourself receive this positivity!!! I have plenty today, take all that you need!

You can do this. Love yourself. Listen to your body.

Be well my friend!

Peace.
 
I know this thread is old, but you good man? Reason I ask is cuz I too was taking 20-30mg a day. I once took 46 2mg Xanax bars at once. In my younger years I woke up in mental hospitals (happened twice) from Xanax withdrawal. Day 6 is when the seizure comes and it leaves you like a paralyzed vegetable, at least it did for me. I'm still taking Xanax since I'm prescribed it, I've just learned to respect it since it can kill you from the withdrawals.
 
Thinking of you Mankind.

I hope you're doing as well as you can be expected to....I hope you're in a good frame of mind. The mind can be a prison, or your best friend. Far easier said than done. I'm here if you need/want to talk.

You're strong, you're wise, you're amazing!!!!!

Hugs to you.

Peace.
 
Hey, Mankind :)

Thinking of you today. If you're not up to posting a full-on update, can you at least just pop in and say hello, so I know you're still breathing? :)

Very concerned for you.

You're doing great. Even if you don't think so. Even.if you've had slip ups. This shit ain't easy! And no one is perfect. You're dealing with A LOT right now. You don't need to put additional pressure on yourself to be absolutely perfect.

Sending lots of love and strength your way my friend.

Peace :*
 
WMCWMC said:
Wow, finally I've found someone who has walked a mile in my shoes.

I was actually PRESCRIBED 24mgs/day of Xanax for 4 years while I was heavily addicted to Oxycodone. This psychiatrist knew I was on roughly 600mg of Oxycodone per day yet started me on 5mg Xanax a day and worked me up to 24mg without me even asking to increase. By 10mg a day I was just a zombie seeing her every week and she would just increase the dose and I was so fucked up off the oxy and xan combined that I didn't really notice. Long story short I overdosed 5 times in 2 weeks requiring intubation and the 5th time pronounced dead on scene, luckily the intubation had me breathing by the end of the driveway.

The 5th time they certified me to the psych ward for 60 days. This was interesting as once I was stabilized, my doctor came into my lock down chamber with two nurses and told me to create my own tapering schedule using Valium to taper off the Xanax and Oxycontin to taper off of the OxyContin (which I thought was awesome). I tapered off 600mg of oxy per day and 24mgs of Xanax per day in 45 days and by day 55 I was feeling pretty good.

Anyways, enough about me, I just felt I needed to share my story with you as I have never actually come in contact with another human being that has taken the same amount of benzos that I have. Going through 100x2mg Klon in a week was like my specialty, I thought I was invincible.

The key here is that you CAN do it. Just listen to the doctors at the hospital. I pray that you find a good doctor like the one I had because if you end up with a stickler he is just going to frustrate and fuck you up even more because you'll just leave and relapse.

My suggestion would definitely be to hit the emergency room as soon as you start feeling withdrawals and have run out of mess though man. I have had the seizures, I have gone cold turkey, and I would not wish that on my worst enemy. Xanax is literally the worst drug to come off of in the entire world and I don't care what anybody says. I was climbing the fucking walls bro and you will be to, but just remember that you CAN do it. I promise. You CAN do it.

Feel free to pm me if you want to talk as I feel you and I are quite alike.

Hope you find a way out of this brother.
Click to expand...

Man I can't believe that a doctor would knowingly put someone on that high of a dose of an individual substance, let alone crazy high numbers of BOTH. I would go after that Dr once I regained my health... IMO I don't think someone who is that irresponsible should be making health decisions for anyone. I was taking insanely high doses of xanax after about a two month long binge- I don't know if it was close to the amount you were prescribed, but more than enough to send me into a grand mal seizure after about a week of complete fucking hell, hallucinations, and so on. I don't feel anywhere close to being better, and I am over 2 weeks clean. I can testify that benzo WD is FAR worse than any opiate withdraw I've experienced.
 
Hope you're well my friend.

I'm off to bed shortly. Hope to hear from you soon :)

Take care.

Peace.
 
Thinking of you during your struggles, and praying that you're alive...and well.

Take good care my friend.

Peace xo
 
Jesus Christ. I cannot even imagine taking 20mg of xanax in a day. I think the most I ever took was 8mg and I blacked out for hours.

I'd suggest going to the ER to detox. Explain your concerns, how much you were using, etc.

If you don't want to go the ER route.. I'd suggest tapering down with something other than xanax because it has too short of a half life to be a good choice to ween off benzodiazepines. I'd suggest clonazepam or diazepam. I know a psychiatrist I talked to suggested that clonazepam is the best choice for weening people off of benzos. If you can get clonazepam this may be a better choice.

Hope this helps c:
 
Hey guy :(


I had a couple thousand bucks come my way these past two weeks and I got my tolerance up ridiculously high again to where yesterday I ate around 60mg. I believe I have about 25 real xanax and 10 "xanax" that are really etizolam (sp)? I really fucked myself this past week.


My sub doc is tomorrow and I don't know what to tell him because I came off high dose xanax and 16 subs at the same time once, and NEVER again. I think I am going to tell him I took my last xanax 7-8 days ago so there may be traces. They do this annoying mouth swab where you have to keep it in between your teeth and gums and I've beeen searching online for ways to beat that but I don't have much faith in them.

I duno guys,...I'lll try and keep you updated.

Thank you everyone and ABetterWay <3
 
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