Help :s

[azgaza]

I really messed up this summer; I accidently fell into a sort of speed addiction on top of a ketamine addiction and the results were horrific, I lost more body weight then I can miss and I really don'y feel ok. I'm just very scared now and I want some comfort and no one trusts me and I feel alone, I could really just use a hug something Not sure what I want to acomplish by posting here but I'm scared and I don't feel nice. I try to eat a lot now, haven't done speed in a month and cut down massivly on the K but its difficult and my life is quite a mess. I know only time restores stuff but in the meanwhile I'm scared and waiting takes long...

 

[Captain.Heroin]

*hug*

First of all, congratulations on cutting down on ketamine use and abstaining from speed. That is an amazing improvement in your life, and it shows that you are making good progress.

The combination of stimulants and ketamine is particularly hard on the body and brain; hence, you may feel like this for a while. However, as you continue to abstain from speed, and cut down on ketamine use - possibly quitting in time, you will eventually feel better. And it will get gradually easier until you feel back to normal.

It is hard to notice the small differences when you first start abstaining from drug use - but even if it is something small, like enjoying a meal for what seems like the first time in forever, or the first time you genuinely laugh and feel naturally good from something like a joke, or enjoying time with a pet animal, this is how you know things are getting better. And as long as you focus on the positive things of abstaining from drugs, it will make it that much easier to stay off of the drugs and continue to regain happiness while sober.

 

[badfish45]

CH summed it up well.

You still have only been off of drugs for a month and especially for drugs such as those which take a large physical toll on the body when abused, it will take more time, but it will get better everyday as long as you keep your eyes on the goal of being sober. I wish you the best of luck quitting and I am very proud of what you have accomplished. I understand that right now it is scary so if you ever need to talk you can send me a PM

 

[azgaza]

Thanks for the replies Captain.Heroin; you are completely right and I'm taking your advise to hand; enjoying my cats, food and the fact I finally got some painkillers that work for the messed up feeling in my bladder.. Time it all it takes but as I said; it's hard and I'm trying to best to be patient and relax and realise I'm ok.

I still do the occasional line of K; it's really a difficult addiction but I'm trying to cut down to doing none at all for atleast a few months and if possible longer because I just don't get away with it and it's not worth the health of my organs; just kind of ashamed it took me this long to realise and that I'm so sensitive to dissociative addiction.. because a huge part of me still wants nothing more then to constantly be in K-space but if I let my body heal everything will be so much nicer and if I in half a year decide to maybe do some ketamine again the tolerance will be gone and maybe the experience will be even better for it and hopefully I can keep controlling myself in the future

Thanks for the positive messages; that does help. I feel a bit less alone now

 

[lurching]

if you haven't done already you can ask for a bloedtest or more in-depth medical check-ups, it might ease your mind. i've been deep into dissociatives, keta and mxe, especially keta (long periods of multiple grams per day) and each time it left me a bit scatterbrained/scatterbodied for a while, sometimes a long while and often i was sure that it would be at least partly chronic. i've used amphetamine with keta as well for a long period, which is not very wise and there's studies showing that it's not a good idea at all.
L-tyrosine and L-dopamine will help. i know of someone who uses bupropion (a dopamine reuptake inhabitor) to come off and stay off ketamine.
tbh i'm in a similar situation now. stupidly buying 5 gram bags when funding is tight and using it all in two days while getting mediocre fleeting effects, just doing it for crushing the crystals, racking the powder and the intial glutamate rush. trying to cut down, etc (regretamine)--although at the moment it's not daily use any more.
i recently asked my doc for pregabaline (lyrica) which is sometimes used to ease benzodiazepine withdrawal. it works well for me in moodlifting and supressing "cravings" by making me more motivated to do things that get my mind off the keta <-- which is the crux.