thebenster of Ra
Greenlighter
For the past couple of months I have been smoking fentanyl gel patches and using other opiates maybe every other day, whether it be oxycodone, tramadol or heroin.
My typical day now consists of smoking a nice piece of gel right off the bat, dragging myself to work, pissed beyond belief that I should have to do anything other than waste away in front of the tv, do to the massive lethargy it gives me. Then about half way through my shift is when I start boiling with anger over something as little as seeing a co worker fuck up on the job and making my life a little harder, which I myself do constantly.
I get home, smoke myself silly and wake up with a nauseating hangover, then do it all over again.
Quitting seems almost impossible, not because of the physical symptoms of withdrawal (we've all gotten sick some time or another), but rather the depression that comes with it. I just want to be in a place where I can wake up happy to be alive.
How do I deal with the depression? And how long does it usually last?
I can't smoke weed as it makes me depressed and anxious even when used under more fortunate circumstances. And using recreational drugs is out of the question, knowing me I would medicate myself into the same state with a different substance.
Any recommendations would be greatly apreciated.
Thanks
Ben.
My typical day now consists of smoking a nice piece of gel right off the bat, dragging myself to work, pissed beyond belief that I should have to do anything other than waste away in front of the tv, do to the massive lethargy it gives me. Then about half way through my shift is when I start boiling with anger over something as little as seeing a co worker fuck up on the job and making my life a little harder, which I myself do constantly.
I get home, smoke myself silly and wake up with a nauseating hangover, then do it all over again.
Quitting seems almost impossible, not because of the physical symptoms of withdrawal (we've all gotten sick some time or another), but rather the depression that comes with it. I just want to be in a place where I can wake up happy to be alive.
How do I deal with the depression? And how long does it usually last?
I can't smoke weed as it makes me depressed and anxious even when used under more fortunate circumstances. And using recreational drugs is out of the question, knowing me I would medicate myself into the same state with a different substance.
Any recommendations would be greatly apreciated.
Thanks
Ben.
