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Help please, confused with my own feelings

fakeplastictrees4

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 4, 2011
Messages
329
Location
Vancouver, BC
I have been mulling over this for months now. And im completely lost.

Right now I feel like im in a constant state of love and heartache. I have fallen for my best friend, were both 18 and both female. Ive never had a crush on any other girl and never even had a crush of this intensity. A couple weeks ago we ended up telling eachother how we felt (it was mutual) and spent the night together in bed, exploring each-others bodies like never before. It was an amazing night. Other than that our relationship has not changed,we still hang out and do what we always did. Not even any awkward silences.
The thing is she doesn't want a serious relationship, I don't either but when she texted me the words "I don't want to be with you" it made my heart race, made me nauseous and scared. It was a bit of a miscommunication -I thought she wanted to forget about what happened- she just doesn't want to "be with me" in a commited way. Which I don't mind. So I suppose shes kind of like a fuck buddy, even tho we haven't 'fucked'.
Fast forward to this weekend and we ended up hooking up again, and yet again it was so fucking good.

I'm worried I'm going to grow too attached to her (more so than I already am), were both single at the moment and what the hell is going to happen when one of us gets into a relationship...

I have also been seeing this guy and he's really cool. I could definitely see us being in a relationship together, being with him is good. I've been getting into a lot of flings lately, and it's like I'm falling for everyone.
But I can't help but think, each time I kiss someone, it's just not the same as my best friend.

This is preventing me from moving on. I mean I don't want to but yet I do.

I don't know..........

if anyone has any experience with this it would be greeeeeaaaaaaat :)
 
Wow... very complicated.

I sense that your really like these people and are mistaking your caring and love as a friendship to actually being in love with them. It seems like you are trying to fill some void that you feel with a partner, which is normal, but I suggest you find out if there is something you are trying to compensate for before you jump into any realtionship, so it doesn't arrive at bad times.

Slow down...... You are moving to fast, you can breath and think about this, and weigh out the causes and effects of what each relationship may bring. If you keep getting closer to your best friend and she decides to be open with dating and you do that and then don't work out there is a very likely chance you will lose your best friend and girlfriend at the same time.

You also can't be dating the guy while messing with the girl too, and she might get jealous. Just from the information gathered this is the safest bet, but you make sure you tell the girl no more sexual acts, because it is too confusing.

I think only time will tell what is the best decision, and don't let your emotions over take your senses and cause you to jump into such a complex situation without giving it good thought.

I wish I had some better advice.
 
Wow... very complicated.

I sense that your really like these people and are mistaking your caring and love as a friendship to actually being in love with them. It seems like you are trying to fill some void that you feel with a partner, which is normal, but I suggest you find out if there is something you are trying to compensate for before you jump into any realtionship, so it doesn't arrive at bad times.

Slow down...... You are moving to fast, you can breath and think about this, and weigh out the causes and effects of what each relationship may bring. If you keep getting closer to your best friend and she decides to be open with dating and you do that and then don't work out there is a very likely chance you will lose your best friend and girlfriend at the same time.

You also can't be dating the guy while messing with the girl too, and she might get jealous. Just from the information gathered this is the safest bet, but you make sure you tell the girl no more sexual acts, because it is too confusing.

I think only time will tell what is the best decision, and don't let your emotions over take your senses and cause you to jump into such a complex situation without giving it good thought.

I wish I had some better advice.

Thank you, this was good advice, I have become so invested in this situation I need different perspectives :)
I think that in the end the smart and practical thing would be to just distance myself from my best friend for a bit, let myself have new feelings towards someone else. Although this is easier said than done...
 
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