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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Help me not try heroin, thanks

L

LearnWithGern

Greenlighter
Joined
Sep 29, 2010
Messages
2
Okay, this may be the wimpiest thread ever on TDS. If it needs to be moved somewhere else, so be it. But this is the audience I need, I think.

I'm a pretty casual drug user. Used to smoke a lot of pot, cut back dramatically about 2 1/2 years ago. Always fond of hallucinogens, but haven't done much at all since the birth of my first kid, 12+ yrs ago. But I like drugs. Some not-so-good health stuff has befallen me as a result of my previously heavy pot smoking, so I have some regrets, but not many. Overall, drugs land on the "plus" side of my personal ledger.

I've never done heroin. Never had much opportunity, nor a burning inclination to find it. But things are a little different these days.

I recently met this girl. She is super-cool. I'm kind of in love with her. Smart, cuddly, super-affectionate... and a heroin user. I admit, I don't know much about her use, all I know is that she occasionally hangs out with her old HS boyfriend and smokes heroin and has sex with him. I'm not that hung up on the sex (yeah, I'm weird that way), but I am concerned, for two reasons:

1) I am very wary about pursuing a long-term (or even medium-term) relationship with a potential addict. I'd like to be the primary relationship in her life. I can compete, I think, with the HS boyfriend. I'm not at all sure I can compete with heroin.

Obviously, I need to learn more about her usage... how much, how often, how she handles it, the role it plays in her life. But that leads to...

2) I am worried about wanting to try heroin myself, now that I know (and really, really like) someone else who does it, and doesn't seem to consider it a problem. I have always told myself that I would never do it. I have waaaaay too much to lose. And I've been reading the threads on here, and am impressed and moved and sometimes saddened by many of them, and the cautionary tales they tell.

And yet... And yet...

Of course I want to try it. I like to try new things, particularly new things that might conceivably be the most pleasurable experience known to man. I'm wired with that kind of curiosity. Something in me wonders that I'm not missing out on one of the fundamental limit-states of human experience. If I die never having tried it, I think I'll die slightly disappointed.

This is bullshit thinking, of course. Nothing could be worth the loss of control that comes with addiction. I'd be crazy to take that risk. Person after person on this forum has said that they rue the day that they decided to see what all the fuss was about. The consensus is that, on balance, it ain't worth it.

So why is some part of me not convinced? What can I do to get that part of me to shut the fuck up? Especially when it observes that not only might I be satisfying my curiosity, but also getting closer to this girl that I'm in love with?

I know that trying heroin would be a terrible idea. But that might not be enough. My impulse control is spotty.

Can someone give a try at scaring me straight? Maybe it'd help to have someone talk to ME, directly, about this, rather than my lurking around on this forum and scrounging what wisdom and resolve that I can. I need something to hold onto and counteract me when I start to think, "You know, one time probably couldn't hurt..." I will be faced with that choice sometime in the near future.

And if I need this much support to resist it without even having tried it, well, once I try it, that could very easily be game over.
 
I don't know if you've ever used any strong opiates before like oxycodone? If you have, you already have a good idea of what heroin is like. It's not that heroin is anymore addictive than any other strong opiate, it's just that it's a lot cheaper and thus easier to sustain a habit. Don't think you're missing out on anything mystical or unparalleled.

I'm not addicted to opiates, and I was never addicted to opiates for any long period of time. Yet, I cannot stop thinking about them. I crave them everyday. Frankly, if I had easy access to decent heroin I'd be deep shit within a few weeks. No matter how long you stay clean, no matter how much you occupy yourself, once you get a taste for opiates the craving never really goes away. At least that's how it is for me.
 
She's not emotionally available to you if she's hanging out with her old boyfriend and having sex and doing drugs with him. Whether or not you try heroin, getting into a relationship with someone who isn't emotionally available is likely to fuck you up, and that's going to make drugs seem even more appealing.

I've known quite a few people who've only ever used heroin on an occasional recreational basis, but those who've been able to do that haven't had any connection to the "heroin culture" - their social network hasn't included other people who use it.

For what's it's worth, I've also had friends who've never touched heroin in their lives develop a habit after getting into a relationship with someone who uses.

If you've only recently met this girl then you're "in love with" your image of who she is - you don't yet know the reality. I'd take a big step backwards at this point because there are reasons apart from drugs which make this situation high risk. In any situation where you're considering crossing a personal line, you need to give yourself some distance - if it seems like a good idea later, you can always do it then.

Be careful that you're not looking to replace the HS boyfriend as the person she does heroin with. You need something more than doing drugs together to form a healthy relationship and you could find yourself doing H on her timetable if you're not careful.
 
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Please don't do it and if you do, def don't shoot it b/c you more than likely won't be able to stop. My ex, who got me into it, made it sound so benign and before I knew it I was hooked physically and mentally. Although, I like it I wish I had never used it. It's not worth it. Just stay away from it. Research heroin online and see if you like what you read about it. I wish I had educated myself first.
 
if you try heroin you WILL DIE!!!!!!!! scared? i dont think so....

sounds to me like this girl is more of a user that she says, thats usually the case anyways.

i suggest having a heart to heart with her, and figure out her feelings....

if u wanna try, try. if u dont, dont. dont let another individual make the choice for you especially if she has a sexual grip on you.
 
Can't relate on the relationship issues (been single my whole life), but when I was 17 or 18, a certain film dead-set me on becoming an opiate addict.
Having never tried any opiates (I sold the few hydrocodones I'd once been scripted), I figured it would never happen.

Maybe 9 months later I got my first taste (via methadone). Took another 9 months before I tried #2, that being OxyContin ... which forever changed my relationship with any/all drugs. For years I was a casual/experimental/controlled user of any drug I came across.
Then Oxy entered my life, and shattered all self-control I ever had for drug use.

Not saying I regret my Oxy days; au contraire, I never had a single bad minute. Pure bliss, and my wallet could afford it at the time (hooray college).
From thenceforth, though (6.5+ years) I haven't been able to say no to any substance, even those I dislike intensely, or drugs I'm hella burnt out on.
Nothing comes close, never will. I know this. Yet I can't restrain myself, despite once having more self-control and strong will than anyone I knew.

So, be prepared. If you already have nothing to lose, give it a shot, and enjoy the ride.
If you think better of it, before the fact, just walk away.

I've only used opiates twice in the last 6 years but still am dealing with the above problems. Even acknowledging that Oxy ruined all other drugs for me.
 
A data point, for what it's worth. I've been around a lot of drug users in my fifty years on this planet and heroin is the only drug which every single person I know who tried it has liked whether they continued using it or not.

Name any other drug and people's responses will range from "love it" to "take it or leave it" to "hate it", but even those people who experience no good feelings from less powerful narcotics seem to agree that heroin feels good. Generally speaking, the combination of "feels great", easily available, cheap, and spotty impulse control doesn't make for good outcomes.
 
I did heroin once...I was out of town and thought "I cant get this at home so why not?" I only did it that once...but it haunted me for 3 yrs after. I was always, in the back of my mind, on the lookout for it. Once I found a steady source...I was in bad shape. That first taste was almost 10 yrs ago and what I would do to go back. Huge mistake. Its like a forbidden fruit. If you dont try it you dont know what your missing. Just think twice...my 2 cents.
 
You are running the risk of getting fucked over twice here, once my this girl and then again by heroin addiction.

Practically everyone gets hooked as soon as they get a taste for it and a regular supply. Unfortunately both these things usually come about very quickly once you take the plunge.

Read through some of the threads in this forum and look at the misery opiate addiction causes. I can tell you from personal experience that the experience of using opiates is in no way worth where you usually end up.

I started using heroin due to a similar situation as yours, I met a "cool" girl who did it and thought if she's doing it, it can't be so bad.

WRONG

Five years down the line and I'm on suboxone maintenance, at various points in these last few years I've nearly lost my job, my home, my daughter, I'm massively in debt and things are only just starting to get better. The cool girl is dead.

Hey, it might not happen to you, but also it might. And if it does you're gonna have hard times to come.

Leave it where you find it.

MONSTA
 
Don't walk, RUN!

Her relationship with her dealer/ex-boyfriend sounds like prostitution. I'll bet the boyfriend wouldn't be so willing to share drugs with her if she wouldn't have sex with him.
 
opiate withdrawal is a hell all its' own. once you try something,you can NEVER go back to NOT knowing what it feels like. I have gone through 2 opiate withdrawals in my 34 years ans I do not want a 3rd. If you are one of the ones who gets the taste and HAS to have it-like me-then once you try it,you are on a spiral that is usually downward.you may not be like me-i am a junkie,through and through-and I say that because ANYTHING can be junk. it may not be addictive physically but mental addiction can be just as severe.workaholics-hardcore computer addicts-i.e. gamers,hackers-even me as far as Bluelight is concerned. if you have not tried it yet,don't. If you decide that you are going to and nothing or no one can stop you-PLEASE,utilize Bluelight.educate yourself to every aspect of heroin and opiates in general. This includes ROA-how you chose to put it in your body.
Bluelight wasn't around for my generation.take advantage and own the power of knowledge.
Be safe and stay safe....
Much Peace and Love.......skillz<3
 
If you're anything like me you know without a doubt that the sensible thing to do would be to run in the opposite direction of this woman/drug... it's all bad news. The only good news is that once you get a good taste of H you'll be able to block out any pain this girl may cause you.... as long as you have H.

I think you know it's a bad idea but you're just curious, like William Burroughs said, people try dope mainly because there is no stronger pull in any other direction....something like that.

H is different than other opiates for me, I mean the overall high is almost exactly like morphine to me just more immediate and euphoric. But yeah, you'll never get that high out of your head and it will always haunt you. Opiates do this by themselves, but H is more powerful in my opinion and experience.

I've been doing opiates on and off for years, a few months ago I tried H and did it everyday for a couple weeks before I even stopped to think, hey maybe I should not be sitting in my room smoking H all day every day...

You're going to do what you're going to do, just beware you'll probably like the drug more than the girl and if this girl is really into H there is little chance of you being anything other than a possible way of getting money to get more H... Junkies are ruthless!

Make your own decision, if you want to try it bad enough you will. Just do your homework be safe and be prepared for your life to be turned upside down.

I also wanted to add that H is just like any other opiate in so many ways but it's more available, cheaper and easier to justify using again and again and again.....

Time will tell if I regret my decision to try Heroin, right now I'm content to stay on subs.

In the name of Harm Reduction, if you've never done opiates at all before don't start with heroin, don't start at all but if you must, start with vicodin or codeine or something weaker to give you a feel of what it's like. People rarely start with H, I tried H after having tried almost every other opiate I could find and I was wd'ing from poppy pod tea at the time, so I was already dependent on opiates and a little desperate to just feel normal.

If you insist on trying opiates and you haven't, DON'T start with Heroin.
 
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Drugs are cool! Everyone wants to try them! Fucking is awesome! Everyone wants to fuck affectionate smart girls.

No one wants to get robbed! What hole do you fill her her life? I bet she'll just ride on your money, fuck you a few times, and dipset. She has her drugs, sex, and if you enter her life, money.

Proceed with caution, just say you're scared of needles or your friend died that way. Give yourself a reason. No one hates heroin, but no one likes dying or addiction either.
 
Depressicaa said:
Drugs are cool! Everyone wants to try them! Fucking is awesome! Everyone wants to fuck affectionate smart girls.

No one wants to get robbed! What hole do you fill her her life? I bet she'll just ride on your money, fuck you a few times, and dipset. She has her drugs, sex, and if you enter her life, money.

Proceed with caution, just say you're scared of needles or your friend died that way. Give yourself a reason. No one hates heroin, but no one likes dying or addiction either.
Click to expand...

Good posting. Dipset!
 
just forget this chick and heroin.
its all bad news.

Although i will say that if you decide to ignore everybody and go ahead with this, youll have some of the best times of your life smoking heroin and fucking around with this chick. Then a little while later heroin will bring you some of the worst times of your life....for way way longer than the good times lasted.
 
I mean use your head. You'll die disappointed because you never tried heroin, but all of us who've hurt ourselves and wasted years out of our lives fucking around with opiates will go to the grave with this deep sense of satisfaction - Oh I pushed the boundaries of life itself with that needle!

These things are all the same though, people don't know any better and you can't prevent the mistakes. You already know that the risk is incredibly high that once you get a taste for the stuff and enjoy it that you'll want to try it again, and then you also know how badly it messes up the life of everyone who gets into using over the long term. Trust me, there's absolutely nothing to gain from getting into opiates.

Seriously, if you have a 12 year old child that depends on you and you are even considering using heroin and taking on all the risks that entails, then you must not give a shit about your kid.
 
Also remember that the second you get a habit you just got yourself a full time job 24/7 365 days a year, there is no time off ever. This job is in addition to any other job you already have and it'll most likely cost you far more money than you'll ever make and much more when you take into account other side effects of a life that revolves around a drug.
 
^^definitely becomes a full time job.

as far as the girl goes, just remember, if she is into heroin, you will never be first in her life. Hell, she has heroin which replaces just about every other need in your life like a boyfriend, sex, food, drink, exercise, health, etc., the list goes on.
 
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