Help living with an addict?

[concernedniece]

Mods:
New user, first time posting, not sure if non-users are allowed to post, if not, please delete, and my apologies.

I just came across this site after having a rough night with a Suboxone user. My uncle (early 30s) moved in with me about a month ago as he's fallen on tough times. He was addicted to opiates, been "clean" for 5+ years, but is definitely addicted to Subs + Ritalin. Anywho, it sucks watching him on his "bad days" (he's already run out of pills 2x this month... I'm pretty sure he's been dealing along with using his own scripts)... when he runs out, he will lay crying on the couch until I'm forced to call around to find him some meds. Most of my family has already given up on him... and this guy has been a really hard worker with good jobs for so long, but for the past year, after being laid off for a temporary disability (muscle weakness, hearing voices), he's lost his house, his car, his girl, his friends, and he's sold most of his things to keep up with his addiction. He travels 5+ hours to see a doctor who will still prescribe him high doses, as all the local ones want to wean him off, and he refuses. What can I do to help him kick the habit? He tells me this is a lifelong medication, is that true? It's ruining his life! All I can think of is sneaking into his room and taking his pills, just so I can dose them out to him as prescribed, so he can't just take as many as he wants. But to be honest, though he's non-violent, I really feel like he would become violent if I attempted that maneuver. Any help from other users of Subs are greatly appreciated, this is something I am not well educated on, and I just don't know how to help him.

 

[Newguy555]

If he's hearing voices, he NEEDS to get off the Ritalin! It can cause psychosis!
You need to give him an ultimatum. Either wean off the pills or get out. That's the only thing that'll change his life around.

I would NOT take his pills because he would definitely get violent.

 

[Cliffy78]

Never take his pills!!!!! Sry, can't say that strongly enough., it's hard to change anyone when they done want to. He's got good jobs and skills so he just needs to snap outta it before it's too late. Idk what to tell u really. I don't know a lot about that drug but hopefully someone with a ton of knowledge in the subject will help y out soon just be patient, your a saint,. Good luck hun

 

[concernedniece]

Oh gosh, is that what the voices could be? They started recently, he is convinced the cops keep walking in the house and searching for him, he hears them clear as day, even making coffee, so he hides in closets and such... I outright asked if he had done meth, he said "Once, years ago," because that's all I could think of. He believes it to be a temporary psychosis or schizophrenia. When he moved in, it was under the condition that he would go to an inpatient facility so they could diagnose him and get him on the right meds for the voices. He is now refusing, he is afraid they will take away his Subs. I have convinced him to do outpatient, he has been to one appointment so far, but just for a counselor, the psychiatrist won't be scheduled for another month or two. I am so terrified that if I give him an ultimatum, he'll wind up on the streets. Trying compassion, kindness, understanding, but trying to remain firm, hasn't worked, though. I may ask for a stronger third party to step in to help me, just to make it known to him that this can no longer continue.

 

[Cliffy78]

I'm schitzo affective and it sounds more like that to me. Suboxone doesn't get u high so y would they want to take it from him. The reason he did drugs was probably the same as most of us with severe mental illness, the voices fade and it give u a normal feeling. Just my opinion and I'm far from a dr .. Lol

 

[concernedniece]

Thank you, Cliffy! This whole situation is just boggling my mind. From my understanding, Suboxone was made so that opiate users could QUIT. Instead, it seems like it's just replaced one illegal addiction with a legal addiction. It's just aggravating. I haven't really shown him how aggravated I am, but I'm just so at a loss right now. I hate seeing him sick, but I know pills are only temporarily fixing the issue. He claims if he quits it, he will get seizures and die. Certainly I don't want him to die, but will this be his life? There's no quality of life existing for him right now. Not only is this pulling at my heart strings, but financially, it's hurting too. Having to "spot him" the cash to get the pills he needs is not so awesome. He keeps trying to sell me his electronics so he doesn't feel like a mooch, but frankly, he has very few possessions, he can only attempt to sell so much, I don't want to see him anymore destitute than he already is. Sorry if I come off as ranting, I kinda am, lol.

 

[Tommyboy]

I think that your best bet is to give him the ultimatum that you will dispense his medication to him each day or he's got to move out. This way he can't take more than prescribed and run out early. Also, I agree that the Ritalin may be causing his psychosis so that needs to be addressed. It's not all that necessary for him to use it if he's just laying around your house and unemployed so he should really consider getting off of it, so maybe see if he's willing to taper down at least. It doesn't cause physical withdrawals when you stop and may just cause some lethargy or depression once he's off, but it doesn't seem like he can get much worse at this point so I think that if nothing else you should also dispense those to him daily as well so that he can't take too much and go into psychosis.

Moving to TDS forum.

 

[concernedniece]

He claims that Ritalin withdrawal does indeed make him sick, but even I was temporarily on it (prescribed!), and it certainly didn't make me sick when I stopped, I feel like that's all in his head.
I'll look up Schizo-affective disorder, but wow guys, you were right, via Google it does look like Ritalin can spark psychosis. I'll definitely address that with him.
And I will put down the ultimatum, but I have a strong sense that he'll give me a run around and a bunch of excuses, and not hand over the pills. If that happens, I love him, but I'll have to make other arrangements for him, away from here.

 

[drewbocop]

You don't withdrawal physically from Ritalin. It's 90% psychological. He would sleep heavily and eat a lot to make up for the total lack of those things I imagine he'd be getting abusing methylphenidate. And when you abuse stimulants like that and stay up for days on end, you DO go crazy. I do not have any sort of true mental illness (well, maybe, I dunno) but when I used to go through my Adderall scripts like a freak as an almost-adult, I swore to GOD my parents were whispering about me in the next room over. I even thought they were having sex! Total delusions. Imagine their face when I burst in the room while they were fast asleep at 4 in the morning telling them to stop talking about me. It is stimulant-induced psychosis. And if he has an underlying condition, drugs like Ritalin can most certainly trigger them.

As for the Suboxone, it depends on the doctor. Some are in a private setting where maybe they will prescribe it indefinitely. But most maintenance programs ultimate goal is to slowly taper you off and leave you with minimal discomfort. At least, that's how it's supposed to work. I personally found getting off Suboxone one of the hardest things I've ever successfully done. It was agonizing. For weeks. If he is taking monumental doses and then withdrawaling every so often, yeah he's sick. Give him that ultimatum or tell him to continue on his destructive path elsewhere! We all have to pay the piper, and this is the softest way. He is a grown ass man and you are not his baby sitter. You're his niece for Christ's sake.

It is incredibly hard to deal with addicts. I am one and I know first hand how my behavior destroyed most my entire immediate family. He is carrying a lot of guilt too, I'm sure, but he needs to take his own initiative and make steps to start picking up the pieces of his life. We all come to that point at some time, it just takes longer for many. I went from pills to dope to subs to methadone to pills to kratom before I got clean. And that was just recently before I finally "got it." I'm 27 years old and have been cycling through addictions for well over a decade. But it has to stop at some point, and he can get better if you can help him understand it's up to him. Wallowing in depression and substance abuse until you die is no way to live. And deep down I'm sure he knows that.