Emme80
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 30, 2013
- Messages
- 233
So, first off , I want to say thank you for reading my...what will try to be, a semi short "wrap up" of my situation/story. Any input experience & advise offered is greatly appreciated! My story started all too typical -with being prescribed painkillers. Too many painkillers and the original problem, unfixed, just masked . Fast forward, I ended up completed addicted & had a love affair with oxy for 2yrs. - maxed out at 80 mg.oxy. per day. I hit my bottom one day when I realized I was willing to drive to a border town of Mexico, just to get an oxy to relieve wd's. The next day , I went to a methadone clinic- sometimes I feel it was the best decision I made- sometimes I feel it was the worst decision I made. Either way though, here I am, years later. Mixed feelings, but I know I cannot change the past or decisions I made- but I can change the future that lies before me .
So here I am.
What I would like some input on is my current situation. My highest dose on methadone was 145mg. a day. Over the last...year+, I realized that the clinic never really wanted me to be off the methadone. I was always encouraged to increase- but very much cautioned to decrease. According to my clinic , I am currently at a 28mg. dose, daily. But considering that they will only let me decrease 3mg. every 4wks., I have been reducing on my own, with my take homes. My true current dose is 12mg. I have been reducing by 2mg. every 7/8 days. Only until now am I starting to feel a tiny bit of goose flesh&calf ache. With reducing my take homes, I have managed to save/set aside approx. 600 mg.(570mg.to be exact). This coming Monday will be the last day I walk into that clinic&the last time I hand over my money for this addiction. This brings me to my quandary. I am very determined to keep decreasing as much as I can without falling into FULL wd's. I may pause here&there if I absolutely must. As it stands , I have a month&a 1/2 that I've taken off from work- so that I don't have the stress off not feeling too hot&having to go be in front of ... people. So, with the 600mg. I will have at ho me, I think I've done my math & I should be able to decrease off with that ammt .(giving a "cushion" for mini pauses). I'm wondering if anyone has experience with reducing from 12mg. over the course of a month& a half or so... and if so, was it just as bad as going C/T?
For the next month, I do have some prescriptions that I've read may help... Those being the essential vitamins, (some of which I cannot take due to an extensive bloodclot I managed to get after a surprise surgery in November 2013(now I'm on blood thinners & cannot take certain minerals&vitamins, medications)the other prescribed medications I have, I can take- which are : clonidine, clonazepam , zofran, flexeril, dicyclomine, gabapentin, ambien, trazadone...and I even still have some painkillers left over from the surgery in Nov.2013. (I don't plan on using ALL of these meds-some of which I'd been prescribed&decided not to take, but still have in the medicine cabinet. Nor do I plan on taking any if them for an extended period).I am being very diligent and strict with my reduction& am just SO focused on not being tied down by any addiction. Apparently, I'm SO tired of being dependent on such things that I somehow decided to quit smoking(for the 1st time, I've never tried to quit before) and it's been 6weeks now-smoke free. I don't drink alcohol (sometimes I think that might help... But I've just never really taken to alcohol very much- I drank in college, but I was always afraid if throwing up that I never drank much. Instead , I just bartender my way through college. I served a lot of alcohol instead of drinking a lot if alcohol )
So...there's my long sordid story¤t situation! Blah! Any input would be graciously accepted. I'm so hoping I can get through this&manage to do so with the 600mg. I saved.
Thanks to anyone who bothered to read this lengthy story. I know my clean & clear future is just around the bend- it just can't happen soon enough.
Btw- is there really much difference from jumping at 3 or 4mg. vs. 1mg.? Will I face the same kind of wd at 1mg.? Or am I just prolonging the wd ?
Many thanks! And a again , sorry so long&detailed!
So here I am.
What I would like some input on is my current situation. My highest dose on methadone was 145mg. a day. Over the last...year+, I realized that the clinic never really wanted me to be off the methadone. I was always encouraged to increase- but very much cautioned to decrease. According to my clinic , I am currently at a 28mg. dose, daily. But considering that they will only let me decrease 3mg. every 4wks., I have been reducing on my own, with my take homes. My true current dose is 12mg. I have been reducing by 2mg. every 7/8 days. Only until now am I starting to feel a tiny bit of goose flesh&calf ache. With reducing my take homes, I have managed to save/set aside approx. 600 mg.(570mg.to be exact). This coming Monday will be the last day I walk into that clinic&the last time I hand over my money for this addiction. This brings me to my quandary. I am very determined to keep decreasing as much as I can without falling into FULL wd's. I may pause here&there if I absolutely must. As it stands , I have a month&a 1/2 that I've taken off from work- so that I don't have the stress off not feeling too hot&having to go be in front of ... people. So, with the 600mg. I will have at ho me, I think I've done my math & I should be able to decrease off with that ammt .(giving a "cushion" for mini pauses). I'm wondering if anyone has experience with reducing from 12mg. over the course of a month& a half or so... and if so, was it just as bad as going C/T?
For the next month, I do have some prescriptions that I've read may help... Those being the essential vitamins, (some of which I cannot take due to an extensive bloodclot I managed to get after a surprise surgery in November 2013(now I'm on blood thinners & cannot take certain minerals&vitamins, medications)the other prescribed medications I have, I can take- which are : clonidine, clonazepam , zofran, flexeril, dicyclomine, gabapentin, ambien, trazadone...and I even still have some painkillers left over from the surgery in Nov.2013. (I don't plan on using ALL of these meds-some of which I'd been prescribed&decided not to take, but still have in the medicine cabinet. Nor do I plan on taking any if them for an extended period).I am being very diligent and strict with my reduction& am just SO focused on not being tied down by any addiction. Apparently, I'm SO tired of being dependent on such things that I somehow decided to quit smoking(for the 1st time, I've never tried to quit before) and it's been 6weeks now-smoke free. I don't drink alcohol (sometimes I think that might help... But I've just never really taken to alcohol very much- I drank in college, but I was always afraid if throwing up that I never drank much. Instead , I just bartender my way through college. I served a lot of alcohol instead of drinking a lot if alcohol )
So...there's my long sordid story¤t situation! Blah! Any input would be graciously accepted. I'm so hoping I can get through this&manage to do so with the 600mg. I saved.
Thanks to anyone who bothered to read this lengthy story. I know my clean & clear future is just around the bend- it just can't happen soon enough.
Btw- is there really much difference from jumping at 3 or 4mg. vs. 1mg.? Will I face the same kind of wd at 1mg.? Or am I just prolonging the wd ?
Many thanks! And a again , sorry so long&detailed!