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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

HELP , i have a crazy person in my life

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Oh nooooo... I already know where this thread is heading.

Us - "Jake, don't do that"

Jake - "I did it.. but I didn't want to".

The next day, just repeat. Its almost like he wants to insult everyones intelligence in one of the most passive ways a person possibly can.
 
Bojangles69 said:
Oh nooooo... I already know where this thread is heading.

Us - "Jake, don't do that"

Jake - "I did it.. but I didn't want to".

The next day, just repeat. Its almost like he wants to insult everyones intelligence in one of the most passive ways a person possibly can.
Click to expand...

I'm really starting to agree with your new stance.

Jake - Do you even want everyone's opinion on your daily struggles, Or do you just need the sympathy?

If you just like ranting about your problems, start a blog. Many people are investing a lot of time and emotion on you, and you don't seem to care. It frustrates a lot of us, myself included.

As for your most current problem - You need to get away from this woman, and you need to do it gently if possible. She sounds like you, only she needs your attention, not bluelight's. I have no way to predict what she would do, since I'm obviously not her, but one thing's for sure.. you didn't cause her problems, nor should you involve yourself in them. If she causes harm to herself, then that's the way it was meant to be, long before you met her.
 
<Do not be rude, do the name calling game- If you don't have anything productive to add to this thread, don't post in it>
 
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I don't understand why everybody is getting upset at the OP. It is obviously a difficult situation for him, and just because he does not automatically take the advice that everybody is giving him does not mean he is trying to spit in your faces. If separating himself from this woman was easy for him, he wouldn't have posted in the first place.

I would be surprised to see if somebody continuing to use drugs despite the other members' advice would receive the same angry response. Getting out of a bad relationship can be as difficult as quitting drugs, for me it was even worse.
 
Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results?

My comment has nothing to do with whether or not his actions are rational or "sane" as you or I define it, but that there seems to be a general lack of compassion.

It is irrelevant whether or not somebody here choses to listen to our advice. I am not such an important person that posting a reply is a waste of my time because somebody doesn't do what I think they should. I come here to learn from others and to share my own experience, whether anybody gives a shit about what I have to say is their issue, not mine.
 
Just like my other thread where im having a hard time staying clean and ppl beat me down because im not "taking their advice" I care about this girl and its really hard to just cut her off
 
jake99 said:
Just like my other thread where im having a hard time staying clean and ppl beat me down because im not "taking their advice" I care about this girl and its really hard to just cut her off
Click to expand...

Then why the fuck are you asking for advice?? It boggles my mind.
The cycle appears to be the following

Jake wants advice-------> MANY people offer Jake GREAT advice--------> Jake completely disregards said advice ---------> People get frustrated at Jake -----> People let out some frustration ------> Jake gets upset and acts like a victim, seeking consolation from other members


I believe you already knew the answer before you even post this thread. Please save some bandwidth nextime and just dont turn on your computer.
 
Legerity said:
I don't understand why everybody is getting upset at the OP. It is obviously a difficult situation for him, and just because he does not automatically take the advice that everybody is giving him does not mean he is trying to spit in your faces. If separating himself from this woman was easy for him, he wouldn't have posted in the first place.

I would be surprised to see if somebody continuing to use drugs despite the other members' advice would receive the same angry response. Getting out of a bad relationship can be as difficult as quitting drugs, for me it was even worse.
Click to expand...

Word.
 
Legerity said:
Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results?
Click to expand...

bingo

My comment has nothing to do with whether or not his actions are rational or "sane" as you or I define it, but that there seems to be a general lack of compassion.

It is irrelevant whether or not somebody here choses to listen to our advice. I am not such an important person that posting a reply is a waste of my time because somebody doesn't do what I think they should. I come here to learn from others and to share my own experience, whether anybody gives a shit about what I have to say is their issue, not mine.
Click to expand...

it's not a matter of someone doing what we think they should, and then bashing them when they don't.

go read the other threads.
 
Jake has asperger thats why he wont interact with people, and thats his real problem.
 
Interesting. I suppose its possible he has a mental illness that has gone undiagnosed. But I've never met a person with aspergers, and I've met Jake. I HAVE met people with autism before, and Jake didn't demonstrate any signs of it (doesn't it effect the way you communicate?). He talks like a full functioning human being, and socializes with people in real life w/out any odd quirks at all except his OCD.
If he DID have aspergers would he be seeing a girl right now? Would he be able to communicate in school enough to get A/B's at a college level? Its possible but I'm just on the fence about it.
 
jake99 said:
Just like my other thread where im having a hard time staying clean and ppl beat me down because im not "taking their advice" I care about this girl and its really hard to just cut her off
Click to expand...

BINGO...here lies the problem. Jake is an addict. He is not only a slave to drugs but also appears to be addicted to this girl. Is she so special? Doubtful but she pays some attention to him and fills some need he has,

Jake you need to see an addiction specialist or a shrink that can help you out with finding a therapist to work out your addiction problems with.

I suspect you have a real need for someone to become close to you to fill a void. I feel the same way though my drug issues isn't about addiction at all as it is prescription and I have never abused them. I simply am terrified of going through another WD while cutting my dose further.

Jake you won't be able to get clean until you own up to the problems that make you become addicted. Talk to someone that can help you without showing anger like many people have here. They don't understand because you aren't doing things the way they think you should. So what! They are not you. Get help Jake. Tell your folks the truth and tell them you want to see a therapist. You don't want to live out your life like this do you?
 
Bojangles69 said:
Interesting. I suppose its possible he has a mental illness that has gone undiagnosed. But I've never met a person with aspergers, and I've met Jake. I HAVE met people with autism before, and Jake didn't demonstrate any signs of it (doesn't it effect the way you communicate?). He talks like a full functioning human being, and socializes with people in real life w/out any odd quirks at all except his OCD.
If he DID have aspergers would he be seeing a girl right now? Would he be able to communicate in school enough to get A/B's at a college level? Its possible but I'm just on the fence about it.
Click to expand...

Being asperger won't mean that you can't socialize with people and do anything that "normal" people do, I was addressing the issue that he is not listening rather just keep monologs and don't answer people posts. Or maybe he just want's attention. Maybe he gets easily to abusive relationships like with that girl. I don't know never met this Jake.
 
Ok thanks NeO then it definitely sounds possible.

And hemp:
You wrote out a great solution, and I do agree with you a lot. Jake is an absolute slave to his addiction (and the girl). But I also agree not a single thing you wrote will even be considered by Jake. The LEAST he could have done by now is see a therapist, he has insurance, its not going to cause anything negative to happen in his life, yet he still refuses to do it.

Maybe NeO is right, at this point I simply don't know/care anymore.
 
<3Jake-
Know its difficult to detach yourself from someone who on the one hand; is so in need of your affection but also who is a dangerous threat to your own sanity. This is obviously an addictive relationship -sometimes people can be worse than any type of drug!... Especially when their so emotionally dramatic and intense. I have been on both sides of similar relationships so I think its safe to say I understand what im talking about.
With what you know, it's time for you to stand up and be the bigger person for both your sakes(not that its easy)But really caring for someone is doing whats in their best interests, not yours, and like you said yourself this girl is VERY sick. If you take the initiative to: Firstly, tell someone your concerns for her(maybe her family, friends, professional health care worker...or anyone who you can trust?)and Secondly, after doing this remove yourself from her as she is looking to work out her issues through you. I know this might seem like your turning your back on her but what your really doing is taking the responsiblity to do something of value for her that she cant, at the moment, do for herself. This is the kindest thing you can do. Like someone mentioned in previous posts she is lost in her own world - obviouslyand you cant expect someone that psychologically ill to empathise with you or even understand you. Let go of her it will help you both. The rest is left to fate/chance. x

http://www.squidoo.com/AddictiveRelationships
 
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