Yeah this isn't really our material here. Even if they're meds for a real condition, we can't help you get substances.
There's really nothing else to say than to get set up with a competent professional and be honest to them about what you're feeling and thinking. You should be able to access a public-funded mental health operation if you're in the states.
Gonna close this. PM for questions or if you think you have a legitimate reason to keep it open.