justagirl30
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jun 16, 2014
- Messages
- 14
Hi BL's,
I feel absolutely terrible. More so than ever. Please help me. A little background... After many years keeping myself sober, I did opiates and then Suboxone .5 mg for years. Then I wanted to get off and thought short acting opiates was better than .5 sub. I eventually wasted 20K on opiates and hadn't quit even though I thought It would be easy b/c I kicked so many opiates before. 5 days compared to who knows. I usually avoid methadone but ended up going to the clinic. I stayed at my highest at 70 mg's. I am scared b/c I always knew done was worse, but Im here. Im tapering to these douches schedule of 2 mgs every wk in which I'm at 66 MG now. I just drink about half since it makes me feel awful in hopes it would get better that way. Plus, I want to be more in control of my dose and have it not be too late if I want to hold the taper or whatever.
The past 6 mos on done has made me a completely different person! I feel like shit. I'm not myself. I cannot function. I am too tired and feel sick. I have always had 2 jobs when I could afford to live on 1, gone to school, did everything around the house including cooking dinner after both jobs, Ive gained weight, I don't talk to people or see tham when thts all I did on my free time before. I would get redy as if I was going out even on days off around the house. Now, I cant even shower every day. Before, I would be late for work on the off chance I didn't have time to get ready and now I don't even wear make up, get my nails done, care about clothes, etc. I have great job and I'm scared Ill lose it as I haven't functioned like myself ever since starting methadone.
I really need Adderall to function. I have done it in the past and know it would give me motivation, help to stay motivated and preoccupied during my taper, etc. I had my 1st appt. with the psych 2 wks ago and seeing her early on Fri instead of the month out appt. She prescribed Wellbutrin during the 1st visit. How can I get those prescriptions through the clinic psych while being on MMT? Instead of me getting my life together while on methadone it is ruining my life. I started b/c It is cheap, I cant waste more money, I don't want to get caught driving to pick up, etc.
Should I leave and get high for a month then go back to sub?
I cant lose everything due to side effects of methadone and I really need advice as I don't want to appear as a drug seeker and am unsure how to go about getting Adderall without waiting longer. I dont have more months of doing horribly (already been roughly 5 months) to waste going through the phases of different med's to get Adderall.
I feel absolutely terrible. More so than ever. Please help me. A little background... After many years keeping myself sober, I did opiates and then Suboxone .5 mg for years. Then I wanted to get off and thought short acting opiates was better than .5 sub. I eventually wasted 20K on opiates and hadn't quit even though I thought It would be easy b/c I kicked so many opiates before. 5 days compared to who knows. I usually avoid methadone but ended up going to the clinic. I stayed at my highest at 70 mg's. I am scared b/c I always knew done was worse, but Im here. Im tapering to these douches schedule of 2 mgs every wk in which I'm at 66 MG now. I just drink about half since it makes me feel awful in hopes it would get better that way. Plus, I want to be more in control of my dose and have it not be too late if I want to hold the taper or whatever.
The past 6 mos on done has made me a completely different person! I feel like shit. I'm not myself. I cannot function. I am too tired and feel sick. I have always had 2 jobs when I could afford to live on 1, gone to school, did everything around the house including cooking dinner after both jobs, Ive gained weight, I don't talk to people or see tham when thts all I did on my free time before. I would get redy as if I was going out even on days off around the house. Now, I cant even shower every day. Before, I would be late for work on the off chance I didn't have time to get ready and now I don't even wear make up, get my nails done, care about clothes, etc. I have great job and I'm scared Ill lose it as I haven't functioned like myself ever since starting methadone.
I really need Adderall to function. I have done it in the past and know it would give me motivation, help to stay motivated and preoccupied during my taper, etc. I had my 1st appt. with the psych 2 wks ago and seeing her early on Fri instead of the month out appt. She prescribed Wellbutrin during the 1st visit. How can I get those prescriptions through the clinic psych while being on MMT? Instead of me getting my life together while on methadone it is ruining my life. I started b/c It is cheap, I cant waste more money, I don't want to get caught driving to pick up, etc.
Should I leave and get high for a month then go back to sub?
I cant lose everything due to side effects of methadone and I really need advice as I don't want to appear as a drug seeker and am unsure how to go about getting Adderall without waiting longer. I dont have more months of doing horribly (already been roughly 5 months) to waste going through the phases of different med's to get Adderall.
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