Help! Extreme Panic!

[st0rch]

Please help me! I set up a previous post about the extreme frightening panic I am experiencing, which all started sunday night when an abrubt arm jolt woke me up from my sleep. After which I had extreme derealization, and am afraid of EVERYTHING.

I've had panic attacks before, the ones where you can simply overcome them if you talk yourself down, but this feels like someone broke the switch allowing me to do that. Even when I calm myself down, I steel feel this immediate and very scary panic in my head! It's unbearable and i've been contemplating suicide. How could this all happen in one night?

I'm afraid of losing my girlfriend, job & sanity if I dont return to normal. I went to a doctor who prescribed valium + abilify. After none of these were working i took myself to an ER, spoke to a counselor, who then had a psychiatrist prescribe me ativan + some other drug similar to abilify.

I passed out out last night, and when I awoke, back in hell! I Cant do this anymore! Everything seems so unreal and depersonalized and any thought, memory, object, smell is making me panic! My head feels heavy and dizzy. Why is this happening to me!

 

[motherofearth]

You sound like you need to take some time in an inpatient facility. I know that may be hard to hear, and I know you have a lot to lose, but you can lose all the things you listed and live to get them back another day - after you get better. Can you take time off from your job under the conditions of an emergency? Even 4-5 days? I'd suggest that after reading this post (I didn't get a chance to view the other).

 

[DeeJaySwayD]

take a deep breath. as silly as it sounds, for you are a human. it is what it is and has been like that and will probably continue to be so, unless you re-learn some things that sort of sound like they are unknown for the moment, you will not be able to overcome the fear of being in this vessel.

simply. just be. take time to be afraid (in a safe place of course) and just get to know yourself beyond the anxiety. progress not perfection. it will take some time, if need be find a good inpatient for 72 hrs or so and let go, spin out and maybe you will re-align. if its better for your normal daily schedule, find an outpatient program, a person you can honestly talk to without judgement and fear, go 3 - 4 times week if you need.

also, honesty about psychedelics and past trauma is the right way to go...if you do have a history you can recall on through the panic, talk about it if need be with close friend or professional. reflection can help make things clearer with the help of another sometime, just simple because you are already on overload...try not to over analyze it all, dont worry about the little things, because it is the little things that kill. if you still got some of yourself left and want it to remain intact, dont sweat the little stressors.

no shame in the game, you may not believe this now but after recovery you will be wise and strong and courageous. it sounds hella cheessy but i had a severe acute case of ego loss from lsd when i was maybe 20. i lost it and i only physically came back, i mentally came back a terrified, ignorant, basket-case. i was on 100mg of diazepam a day for bout 6 months, and to this day thinking about the experience can trigger an anxiety attack. i just kept moving forward, kept busy with learning, tried to be to the best of my ability for the first time in my life because i still had the cognitive abilities to realize just my own cognitive abilities. i feel like i got given a second chance and needed to grow from it....probably because i was too much a pussy to just sit and think for the rest of my life that...everyone was trying to kill me...they all knew something that i did not...that i barely knew what the fuck was real...what things really meant to me...so I chose to live MY life how I wanted to. i am who i am today and ok with it because i lost myself and was blessed enough to be able to rebuild.

for everything there is an equal and exact opposite. loss of control, in time you will find out why, when you have the ability to understand it. you own you. take control of yourself, whatever you want that to be. because it is truely up to you. and then one day you get to pass it on. fear is the only mind killer.