Help!! Am i addicted to meth??!! I wanna get help but.....

[mistersir]

Please someone i need some good advice. i got introduced to crystal meth and ever since i have been snorting it. its been about a month that i first tried it. i snort maybe like 5 lines in a day. and i do it maybe like 3 times a week sometimes less.
ive been secretly stealing from my boyfriends wallet like 20 bucks once in a while. he dont notice yes i know i do wrong,
i did some lines earlier but im feeling like a shitty person. i sit here and think what have i become. ive already started taking my frustation out on people around me. when i wake up i feel so tired and lazy and i need 2 lines to get me going through the day its becoming a habbit. my boyfriend suspects im on something so does my mom. my mom has a serious heart problem so i cant really come clean to her and tell her im on meth. id kill her with that.
also my boyfriend is totally SUPER MEGA ULTRA against drugs, and he thinks im on pail pills like hydrocodone or percocets.
only if he knew i was on meth. ive lied so much. i dont have many close friends i can go to for help for this, ive been wanting to get help but i either forget to call or look for a group or im lazy to find one sometimes. and when i do look and call some places they say they dont accept my insurance i hate state insurace in arizona. so i get lazy to keep looking and dont get nothing done, im losing weight i feel paranoid most of the time. people around me suspect, i feel lost ive even felt like commmiting suicide. maybe my primary care doctor? i have an appoitment with her on tuesday. if i tell her im addicted to meth would she take me off my ambien? i suffer from insomnia. i take ambien every night. what else could she do to help me? id like maybe a group therapies not be in a rehab. advices please guys.

im on one now i also had a question im new to this drug stuff been doing it for a month i think its way to soon before rotted teeth or teeth falling. maybe im paranoid. but i feel something heavy like a liquid substance ( no taste) over my teeth. maybe its effeting my teeth? or am i being paranoid right now? thanks in advance guys

( i brush and floss regularly )

 

[legalizeall]

well first congratulations on reaching out cause that takes courage right there. another thing is your not a bad person for getting involved with a substance like contrary to what the media puts out there about people like us.

when quitting anything, you have to want it yourself. cant do it for boyfriend, family, friends etc and it sounds like your pretty tired of this roller coasters already which is good to.

my advice is since you havent been on this for a long period of time, i would try and quit on your own.

i wouldnt tell bf, or mom yet just because you dont want to scare people if you can help it. i can only imagine how your boyfriend would react. it wouldnt be good and they wouldnt be much help other than a little emotional support. they dont know what to do when it comes to drugs because they arent educated and thats when you see loved ones do some irrational behavior thinking their just helping you when in fact its not.

some might disagree but ive seen to many times when someone came clean to the family and all sorts of hell broke loose simply cause they dont know how to help but they desperately want to fix the person

try and do things to distract yourself from thinking about meth. do physical things that fill up the time that you would have used. hang out with friends, and your boyfriend. treat yourself to something you really enjoy doing. eat healthy and sleeping on a regular time is good

if you find you cant stay off it on your own, then i would maybe think about reaching out to some other kind of third party help. maybe a group or another friend who has been there.

remember though that your not a bad person and dont let anyone tell you that.

 

[Maya]

Hi mistersir welcome to BL, first of all, it is good that you have recognized the current problem you are in. You have realized that your current use of Meth will become more problematic and it will cause you additional stress in your life. I agree with the poster above that you do not tell your bf or anyone regarding your drug use yet, seek professional help as soon as possible and do not wait until it interrupts with your daily life activities specially your work.

As for now, try your best to find something else to do like get a hobby etc and if you have contacts with people that can provide you with drugs you have to let go of them specially dealers. This is not an easy task I know but you have to be able to do this before you sink in deeper into addiction. Goodluck OP and let us know how it all goes.