hello

[lifesohardheypun]

Hey all ive been a reader of the forums, for a while, and just registered today, heres my story, i was introduced to opi;s about 15 years ago with kidney stones, loved it, made life seem so wonderful, i would be riding the bus thinking wow look at that beatuiful tree, isnt that the greatest. they made me want to live life. Fortunalty at that point i could take them or leave them, havent used much over that time,

about 4 years ago my significant other was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer, lets just say she had a hell of a battle, but pulled through

about a year later, i started a new job where i ran into a lot of people " in that scene" so for the first time i got my non doctor prescription lol, for probably the last two years ive used hydros, and percs, off and on, im now into my fourth day off, little bit of lope, half a zanny or two and im doing ok.

i ave been diagnosed with acute, and general depression. and generalized anxiety disorder. it doesnt effect my life in a huge way, i can still go out in public lol , hold down a job etc. but my problem has always been i have no love for life, i have layed in bed at night and said if its your will to take me away, get on it. they say i have a passive death wish

here is my question to you guys, is there anything outside of drugs that can actually make me , feel like living again,

thanks for listening to my rant
lifesohard

 

[mickeyfinn79]

Begin sober/clean can be as good a buzz as any

 

[TAR3]

I've been on that ride since the '60's. Started using H in '68. Opiates have been, and are, my d.o.c..
Consistent use of opiates has a way of rewiring your brain and draining your natural endorphins shuttering the body electric [chemistry]. A positive suggestion might be for you to seek the advice of well trained and experienced addiction Dr. who could, maybe, offer and supervise a maintenance program (e.g. Bupe or methadon). HOWEVER, that being said, both those drugs usher in a whole new set of issues - you must be careful and research risks thoroughly.

Your depression is normal after extended opiate use - seriously, find a good Dr. and be completely open and honest. A solid program can help you find a way to rebuild your life and help with the, often, crushing issues of depression. My depression (opiate induced) got so bad I once spent a [consecutive] 1.5 years in a state mental health system.

There is no reason that would ever need to happen to you.

You can do it, Bro!

I'm pulling for you!

 

[lifesohardheypun]

thanks i appreciate it, my last opi dose was mon 4/8 at like 9 am, and it was only a vic es. feeling a little hopefulm the depression has been an issue for ever even gefore the opi use, i cone from a long line of fucked up brain chemistry family, my habit at most ever was like a year ago id be at like 40 mg a day, which seems sissified to the stories i read on here. i find the easiest way to get along is if i dont promise myself ill never use again, but promosie i wont do it todaym, then let tomorrow be tomorrow