Hello to all, journey through detox starts today. The final. I'm ready2befree

[Ready2beFree]

I'm beggining my final detox I've tapered all weekend (ops) been doing for about three weeks but detoxed a couple mnths before that. I'm ready to live pill free forever and have my life back and get back to feeling food when I paint or dance or plant my flowers green house and yard work.. I love yard work. Fall is around the corner and its my favorite time of year .. I figure right now this is the best time to start and get my life back and enjoy being sober and happy for all the holidays and bring in the new year with a better version of the old me. Any support is so appciated I'm in this alone .. I have a husband and two young daughters , and I want to remove this demon from my life and theirs so I can enjoy them free from anything besides normal joy and happiness that comes from the little moments in life, like watching a movie together or not being to tired or bummed from being worried about running out . I'm not young but I'm not old .. Almost 30 and I want the remainder of my life spent doing the things that I love with the people I love. Last dose of taper starts tomorrow. Have a few benzos and some immodium and Zofran and praying to God I can not get so sick I end up in er. I know I'm gonna feel shitty I just want to get through it without having to have my girls watch me suffer too bad. Much love and I feel great about a place I can come and talk. I won't say my name but feel free to call me "trick"
And no.. My name is not trixy or dosent even start with a T

 

[Smoky]

Hi trick,
Welcome to Bluelight !

I did a similar thing a year ago as I didn't want to go through the holidays on opiates. I truly feel tapering is the way to go if possible, it saved me from some very serious physical withdrawals. They were still present but not as much as when I went cold turkey before. Of course the mental part stays for a while, although tapering as difficult as it was … allowed me to stay opiate free ever since. I also used benzos for 4 - 5 days and only at night as to not develop an issue with those since they are a cns depressant as well.

Anyways, Please don't hesitate to ask me any questions about the site or otherwise. Best of luck on your journey. It takes a lot of courage and you are going for it!

 

[herbavore]

Head on over to The Dark Side and Sober Living for support, Trick. Welcome to Bluelight.

 

[Ready2beFree]

Hi trick,
Welcome to Bluelight !


I did a similar thing a year ago as I didn't want to go through the holidays on opiates. I truly feel tapering is the way to go if possible, it saved me from some very serious physical withdrawals. They were still present but not as much as when I went cold turkey before. Of course the mental part stays for a while, although tapering as difficult as it was … allowed me to stay opiate free ever since. I also used benzos for 4 - 5 days and only at night as to not develop an issue with those since they are a cns depressant as well.

Anyways, Please don't hesitate to ask me any questions about the site or otherwise. Best of luck on your journey. It takes a lot of courage and you are going for it!

Thanks so much. I've tapered as much as I could but really only for about three or four days and didn't cut the mlg down as slow as I should have. But this morning was the last little piece I had so I took it. I think I have about 8-12 vallume to help. I just pray I don't get too sick. Congrats on all your success!! Can I add you as a friend on here? Or is that even a thing. I'm still trying to figure this site out and how to stay connected to a few people to have a few daily connections esp for the next few days... Feeling ready just scared of the physical part of this. Thanks k you again for your kind words

 

[Smoky]

Absolutely. I think I accepted your request. Thanks so much!

 

[Ready2beFree]

Awesome thanks. I imagine tomorrow night I'll be feeling pretty down..

 

[Ready2beFree]

Day two. Just dragging and waiting..

Feeling very tired. Not really sick yet. First day no dose just Val. Feeling blue

 

[Smoky]

Congrats on Day 2 ! !

Those were the most difficult days to bear, at least for me. The lethargy was unbearable, and the derealization I began to experience. Just think, in a couple more days you'll be through the worst part as you were on short acting opiates. If I recollect. Then it will be easier.

BTW - Do you mind if I move your thread to The Dark Side or Sober Living? If not that's okay too - just want you to have as much support as possible. I know I needed it. Every second was unbearable for a while there.

 

[Ready2beFree]

Congrats on Day 2 ! !

Those were the most difficult days to bear, at least for me. The lethargy was unbearable, and the derealization I began to experience. Just think, in a couple more days you'll be through the worst part as you were on short acting opiates. If I recollect. Then it will be easier.

BTW - Do you mind if I move your thread to The Dark Side or Sober Living? If not that's okay too - just want you to have as much support as possible. I know I needed it. Every second was unbearable for a while there.

Yes that's fine I'll follow there!

 

[Ready2beFree]

No I don't mind if you' move. It's really hard waking up.. An overwhelming feeling hits me the moment my eyes open . second guessing myself about making it through the day, how tired and shitty I feel . *sigh* I'm getting up. I hate when I get home I know I'm going to be feeling shitty and tired I won't have energy for my family . getting ready for work, have a good day to anyone out there that's looking

 

[Smoky]

NMI --- > Sober Living

 

[Jabberwocky]

I'd be willing to bet next to anything you'd benefit from some insight meditation at this juncture. It can be challenging when one's actually in withdrawal, but nowhere near impossible, and if you can stick with it for 5-12 minutes it's infinitely rewarding (esp in withdrawal): http://marc.ucla.edu/body.cfm?id=22

In particularly try "Body and Sound Meditation", "Body Scan Meditation", "Breathing Meditation", "Meditation for Working with Difficulties", "Loving Kindness Meditation" and "Body Scan for Sleep". [all are free]

The first two are super short and effect. The third is really effective any time, especially when you encounter fear and anxiety regarding the detox and what's coming next in the withdrawal process. The Meditation for Working with Difficulties is particularly useful for dealing with discomfort during withdrawal, particularly during the day when it can be really bad. The Lovingkindness meditation works really well for some and not so much others, but it's a very useful topic. The last one is pretty self explanatory, and sooooo nice to do in bed before falling asleep.

Wishing you the best trick!

 

[Ready2beFree]

NMI --- > Sober Living

Just wanted to say I'm taking this journey with you! Today is first day not taking any of my DOC. Tho I am using subs as a transition.

Just want u to know you are not alone. This is going to be hard for us, but us women are relentless and need to be strong for our families so well get thru it. Let me know if u want to stay in touch and we can update eachother

I have no option for transition... It's hard. I just know I'm sick of it all. I'd be happy to have someone to stay in touch with. Today I'm dealing with body ache, self doubt, so so so tired , and hungry. Its like I'm waiting for hell to begin. I wish the best of luck to you and hope you will be free soon. I have an amazing date planned with my husband, who dosent know what I'm going through BTW.. Planned on Oct 3rd. I'm praying I'm at least well enough to enjoy it . I had to leave work early today.. I didn't want to but I did

 

[Ready2beFree]

NMI --- > Sober Living

I'd be willing to bet next to anything you'd benefit from some insight meditation at this juncture. It can be challenging when one's actually in withdrawal, but nowhere near impossible, and if you can stick with it for 5-12 minutes it's infinitely rewarding (esp in withdrawal): http://marc.ucla.edu/body.cfm?id=22

In particularly try "Body and Sound Meditation", "Body Scan Meditation", "Breathing Meditation", "Meditation for Working with Difficulties", "Loving Kindness Meditation" and "Body Scan for Sleep". [all are free]

The first two are super short and effect. The third is really effective any time, especially when you encounter fear and anxiety regarding the detox and what's coming next in the withdrawal process. The Meditation for Working with Difficulties is particularly useful for dealing with discomfort during withdrawal, particularly during the day when it can be really bad. The Lovingkindness meditation works really well for some and not so much others, but it's a very useful topic. The last one is pretty self explanatory, and sooooo nice to do in bed before falling asleep.

Wishing you the best trick!

Thank you tpdog. I have not thrown up or that stuff yet. Body aches , self doubt, and soooo sleepy. I need to be awake in the evening for my girls and husband. I don't want them to see me sick. I'm hoping this will pass my life soon . I'll take a look on your ideas. Thanks and bless you

 

[Ready2beFree]

NMI --- > Sober Living

I'd be willing to bet next to anything you'd benefit from some insight meditation at this juncture. It can be challenging when one's actually in withdrawal, but nowhere near impossible, and if you can stick with it for 5-12 minutes it's infinitely rewarding (esp in withdrawal): http://marc.ucla.edu/body.cfm?id=22

In particularly try "Body and Sound Meditation", "Body Scan Meditation", "Breathing Meditation", "Meditation for Working with Difficulties", "Loving Kindness Meditation" and "Body Scan for Sleep". [all are free]

The first two are super short and effect. The third is really effective any time, especially when you encounter fear and anxiety regarding the detox and what's coming next in the withdrawal process. The Meditation for Working with Difficulties is particularly useful for dealing with discomfort during withdrawal, particularly during the day when it can be really bad. The Lovingkindness meditation works really well for some and not so much others, but it's a very useful topic. The last one is pretty self explanatory, and sooooo nice to do in bed before falling asleep.

Wishing you the best trick!

My long term live in boyfriend doesn't know either so we're in the same boat with that. We seem to be about same age too. I'm 28. I have a day and a half until I'm spending the weekend in a lake cabin with him and my parents, so so nervous they will know something is wrong.

I'm sorry you don't have much to transition with. I've heard of a different mixture of OTC stuff helping, I don't want to quote wrong so I'll try to find those threads and pass them along to you.

Even with subs I'm having a hard time today. I feel my body and mind are bipolar. I'll have one minute I feel positive and I'll smile and see that this is worth it. Next minute I'll find myself close to using my DOC even tho I know I won't feel it on subs.

I'm sorry you are going thru this and alone. Lean on us here as much as u need to. Been helping me during my worst moments these last few days.

Keep positive and if there is anything I can help with let me know. We are basically in the same stages, hopefully soon the worst is over. Say after the 3rd day it's uphill!

Your not alone. I have some things to help me out aa bit of Val immodium vitamins minerals ect.. Oh and God. Him to. If you get sick on the trip play it off as the flu and for the love of God take immodium and over the counter nausea meds with you also don't get dehydrated!!
I'm also here literally anytime you want to talk. I'm sure we will have some shitty days and restless nights so feel free to hmu anytime. I'm no pro but we can vent and share and encourage each other and here before you know it we'll be helping a few other young women or men out. Bless you and you'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Few things are worse than having to hide the pain of detox from a spouse or loves ones. Losing a child, a death, these things are worse. But not too much else.

Sending you two some good vibes

 

[Ready2beFree]

NMI --- > Sober Living

I'd be willing to bet next to anything you'd benefit from some insight meditation at this juncture. It can be challenging when one's actually in withdrawal, but nowhere near impossible, and if you can stick with it for 5-12 minutes it's infinitely rewarding (esp in withdrawal): http://marc.ucla.edu/body.cfm?id=22

In particularly try "Body and Sound Meditation", "Body Scan Meditation", "Breathing Meditation", "Meditation for Working with Difficulties", "Loving Kindness Meditation" and "Body Scan for Sleep". [all are free]

The first two are super short and effect. The third is really effective any time, especially when you encounter fear and anxiety regarding the detox and what's coming next in the withdrawal process. The Meditation for Working with Difficulties is particularly useful for dealing with discomfort during withdrawal, particularly during the day when it can be really bad. The Lovingkindness meditation works really well for some and not so much others, but it's a very useful topic. The last one is pretty self explanatory, and sooooo nice to do in bed before falling asleep.

Wishing you the best trick!

My long term live in boyfriend doesn't know either so we're in the same boat with that. We seem to be about same age too. I'm 28. I have a day and a half until I'm spending the weekend in a lake cabin with him and my parents, so so nervous they will know something is wrong.

I'm sorry you don't have much to transition with. I've heard of a different mixture of OTC stuff helping, I don't want to quote wrong so I'll try to find those threads and pass them along to you.

Even with subs I'm having a hard time today. I feel my body and mind are bipolar. I'll have one minute I feel positive and I'll smile and see that this is worth it. Next minute I'll find myself close to using my DOC even tho I know I won't feel it on subs.

I'm sorry you are going thru this and alone. Lean on us here as much as u need to. Been helping me during my worst moments these last few days.

Keep positive and if there is anything I can help with let me know. We are basically in the same stages, hopefully soon the worst is over. Say after the 3rd day it's uphill!

Few things are worse than having to hide the pain of detox from a spouse or loves ones. Losing a child, a death, these things are worse. But not too much else.

Sending you two some good vibes

Your so right!! I tried the body scan for sleep last night and did fall asleep with no vallume although I woke up at three and stayed awake.. But calm!!

 

[Jabberwocky]

I'm very pleased to hear that guided meditation worked well for you and you were able to find some rest. Keep up the good work!

 

[Ready2beFree]

NMI --- > Sober Living

I'd be willing to bet next to anything you'd benefit from some insight meditation at this juncture. It can be challenging when one's actually in withdrawal, but nowhere near impossible, and if you can stick with it for 5-12 minutes it's infinitely rewarding (esp in withdrawal): http://marc.ucla.edu/body.cfm?id=22

In particularly try "Body and Sound Meditation", "Body Scan Meditation", "Breathing Meditation", "Meditation for Working with Difficulties", "Loving Kindness Meditation" and "Body Scan for Sleep". [all are free]

The first two are super short and effect. The third is really effective any time, especially when you encounter fear and anxiety regarding the detox and what's coming next in the withdrawal process. The Meditation for Working with Difficulties is particularly useful for dealing with discomfort during withdrawal, particularly during the day when it can be really bad. The Lovingkindness meditation works really well for some and not so much others, but it's a very useful topic. The last one is pretty self explanatory, and sooooo nice to do in bed before falling asleep.

Wishing you the best trick!

My long term live in boyfriend doesn't know either so we're in the same boat with that. We seem to be about same age too. I'm 28. I have a day and a half until I'm spending the weekend in a lake cabin with him and my parents, so so nervous they will know something is wrong.

I'm sorry you don't have much to transition with. I've heard of a different mixture of OTC stuff helping, I don't want to quote wrong so I'll try to find those threads and pass them along to you.

Even with subs I'm having a hard time today. I feel my body and mind are bipolar. I'll have one minute I feel positive and I'll smile and see that this is worth it. Next minute I'll find myself close to using my DOC even tho I know I won't feel it on subs.

I'm sorry you are going thru this and alone. Lean on us here as much as u need to. Been helping me during my worst moments these last few days.

Keep positive and if there is anything I can help with let me know. We are basically in the same stages, hopefully soon the worst is over. Say after the 3rd day it's uphill!

I'm very pleased to hear that guided meditation worked well for you and you were able to find some rest. Keep up the good work!

I'm at work with two hours to go to!!! What if we're in same place lmfao. Jk hang in there a hot shower and a sit outside when we get home awaits

 

[Jabberwocky]

Right on.

Nothing like a good hot shower (or in my case bath) when I'm feeling shitty cause of w/d. Nothing beats that...