farawaymusic
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Aug 15, 2025
- Messages
- 11
Hello everyone, new user here. I have been struggling lately with how to achieve balance with my use of cannabis. There is a wrinkle in my particular scenario that makes it a little tricky. A few years ago, and periodically since that first time, I experienced a state of spiritual understanding with the aid of some cannabis. To say it changed my life would be an understatement, as it changed what I consider life to be.
It opened up a possibility that can never be closed again: to again experience that clarity, that knowing of myself as I am, or so I suppose from this state of (relative) contraction and limitation.
I have stopped using cannabis for months or a year at a time, and I know life goes on and I can function perfectly well without it. Better, in fact. But sooner or later I become curious again for a taste of what I call the non-state, where something deep inside me sees the flimsy appearance-ness of everything, and I can rest in my own presence/awareness for a while. I again begin using it, get the desired effect eventually, and then can't stop myself from using all my free time to get it as many times as possible.
This pattern will continue, I suspect, until something radically changes about my understanding of life. There is a subtle notion installed deep in my psyche that cannabis reveals a realer substrate of things, a peek behind the veil, for me at least. Until that notion goes away, I will never be able to give up cannabis completely, even after having a terrifying experience last year while traveling in Amsterdam. The allure is simply too strong to resist for now.
I don't know how to integrate this plant into my personal, social, professional, and spiritual life without it taking over my time for months or years on end, and I look forward to exchanging ideas with this community.
It opened up a possibility that can never be closed again: to again experience that clarity, that knowing of myself as I am, or so I suppose from this state of (relative) contraction and limitation.
I have stopped using cannabis for months or a year at a time, and I know life goes on and I can function perfectly well without it. Better, in fact. But sooner or later I become curious again for a taste of what I call the non-state, where something deep inside me sees the flimsy appearance-ness of everything, and I can rest in my own presence/awareness for a while. I again begin using it, get the desired effect eventually, and then can't stop myself from using all my free time to get it as many times as possible.
This pattern will continue, I suspect, until something radically changes about my understanding of life. There is a subtle notion installed deep in my psyche that cannabis reveals a realer substrate of things, a peek behind the veil, for me at least. Until that notion goes away, I will never be able to give up cannabis completely, even after having a terrifying experience last year while traveling in Amsterdam. The allure is simply too strong to resist for now.
I don't know how to integrate this plant into my personal, social, professional, and spiritual life without it taking over my time for months or years on end, and I look forward to exchanging ideas with this community.
