filminfatuated
Greenlighter
Hi Bluelight!
I have lurked this site for many years but am only just now making an account. What took me so long? Well, I was/am part of the "Opiates" community over @ a little site called Reddit, but I feel like the sub is getting too big and it doesn't feel as close-knit as it used to be; there are also more and more trolls coming in every day to fuck with the users, so I figured I'd make an account here & see how that goes ?
A little about me for anyone who has made it this far (thanks) :
I'm a 25 year old female from the East Coast of the USA. I have a Bachelor's Degree in Fine Arts from a college in Maryland, my main focus being photography - hence my username. I guess I'm a hipster in that I not only prefer film to digital, I LOVE it.
I've been (ab)using opiates for almost 5 years now. Started with oxycodone, & have in the past two years progressed to intravenous heroin.
I'm a "functioning" addict, as they call them, but I don't know how much longer I will be - I feel as though I am nearing the end of my "using career" - I want to get clean, but @ the same time, am terrified to. Heroin has become my best friend & lover. So much of my daily life has revolved around opiates for half a decade, that I don't know how to live without them, be it mentally, physically, & emotionally. I also suffer from Bipolar Disorder (type 2, for what it's worth) & although I take psych meds, fear the depression that comes with detoxing/getting clean.
I guess that's part of the reason I'm here. There aren't many people IRL that I can talk to & vent to that would understand these things. I feel so alone & empty. I am quite literally near suicidal, & the sickness hasn't even begun yet.
So if I can make any friends to feel less shitty, I welcome it.
So yeah, hello ?
I have lurked this site for many years but am only just now making an account. What took me so long? Well, I was/am part of the "Opiates" community over @ a little site called Reddit, but I feel like the sub is getting too big and it doesn't feel as close-knit as it used to be; there are also more and more trolls coming in every day to fuck with the users, so I figured I'd make an account here & see how that goes ?
A little about me for anyone who has made it this far (thanks) :
I'm a 25 year old female from the East Coast of the USA. I have a Bachelor's Degree in Fine Arts from a college in Maryland, my main focus being photography - hence my username. I guess I'm a hipster in that I not only prefer film to digital, I LOVE it.
I've been (ab)using opiates for almost 5 years now. Started with oxycodone, & have in the past two years progressed to intravenous heroin.
I'm a "functioning" addict, as they call them, but I don't know how much longer I will be - I feel as though I am nearing the end of my "using career" - I want to get clean, but @ the same time, am terrified to. Heroin has become my best friend & lover. So much of my daily life has revolved around opiates for half a decade, that I don't know how to live without them, be it mentally, physically, & emotionally. I also suffer from Bipolar Disorder (type 2, for what it's worth) & although I take psych meds, fear the depression that comes with detoxing/getting clean.
I guess that's part of the reason I'm here. There aren't many people IRL that I can talk to & vent to that would understand these things. I feel so alone & empty. I am quite literally near suicidal, & the sickness hasn't even begun yet.
So if I can make any friends to feel less shitty, I welcome it.
So yeah, hello ?
