Hello my name is ashley

[ticklemeashy]

hii my name is ashley, I've been addicted to opiates since i was 14 and now I finally want to reach out and get some help by trying to find a suboxone doctor. But see I've never been to a pain doc or been prescribed pain medicine long term. I got in a car accident when I was 2 years old and I've had really bad problems with my legs ever since. I broke both of them in several places. I also have hip pain. (I'm a bigger girl) not too big but the pain in my leg and the fact that the right leg doesnt work right affects me. I got the opiates when I was younger from my parents they would hand me about 10 to 20 roxxy 15mgs when they got their scipts. I was about 16 when they got roxxys, but before that it was percocets or Tramadol here and there. Yeah I would do 1/4s of the roxxys but it got to the point of doing a half and then a whole. Of course I loved the way it felt to finally be happy and come out of my shell. But then my mom got uped to roxxy 30s and things got bad. My dad went to jail because he couldnt control his actions and that wasn't nothing new. He always would go to jail every other year... But things got worse for me because my mom left the house and she never could be found until she was broke and crying about how she fucked up. I went threw awful withdraws. But that was all over and she didnt divorce my dad but she "moved" on. Even tho my dad did go to jail often, we had a bond like no other. We absolutly loved metal and classic rock. We would jam out and smoke some hookah, then the long talks came. He was the only person I could talk to that would understand the pain i was going threw, emotionally and physically. But last year on feburary he passed away. He froze to death trying to get home. But he was at his friends house and well all of his pills and thing were missing. I don't know if they punched him and dumped him outside or what. But I don't believe he died on his own. That took a tole on me tho. No one sees the pain I feel about losing my dad. They always say oh you didnt care when he died, why would you care if your mom od's. (She is a heroine addict now.) I love my mom dearly, even if she put me threw hell. I love her. I started taking more pills but I had to buy them off the streets and yeah its a ongoing habit now. I'm on methadone right now. Bought them from some girl. I really want into one of those clinics. Do you think I would get in?

 

[Smoky]

Hi, I am so very sorry for your loss, what a tragic experience you must have and might still be going through, losing someone as close as a father.

Do you mind if I move your post to a section for more support?

Also, feel free to read the rules below to the right when you have a chance.

I cannot say if methadone is or isn't an option for you. Is there a clinic you could call in your area? We cannot give that advice here unfortunately.

Are there any support or grief groups you could attend?

It's good to have you here, there are many that have experienced much loss that could be a viable support on Bluelght while you decide what your options are.

 

[Papaverium]

Greetings, welcome to BL. So sorry to hear about your loses. If you ever need to talk, feel free to send a Private Message to Smoky or myself. There is also a Recovery Support section where you may find some helpful information. The Dark Side is where you can go if you just need an ear to listen and seek support with personal problems. Sober Living would be a nice place to check out others' experiences with methadone and suboxone, and general support on getting and staying clean

Hope wee have been helpful to you, and once again, feel free to PM one of us if you feel the need to talk privately!

Cheers,
Verri