Silver Nitrate
Greenlighter
Hello bluelight..i did have an account some 7 odd years ago but promplty fogot my password.. to both this site and my e-mail lol.
Im a little more stable these days so hopefully wont happen again.
I have HPPD from bad acid trips and was the admin of the original stormloader HPPD site..i was also a founding member of HPPDonline but fell out with the other 2 coz they were only in it for the money and free clonazepam...i was in it to help people and spread accurate information... they just wanted there own interests taken care of so i left..and the place has gone to shit.
I also am a member and a long term prolific poster of a drug forum on another website which has a drug forum, although the site is very varied with the drug forum being a small but well respected part of the site.(its a self help/information site with alot of good accurate info)
Im an addict..LSD fucked me up at 15 and brought out underlying mental health problems over night.. i then became addicted to alcohol, amphetaine, methamphetamine, benzodiasipines and opaites. I was hooked on the lot for 10 years but managed to quit the amphetamines which took alot of pain and time, im now into my 5th year off any form of speed and only now am i feeling the better.. the first 3 years were pure hell.. i have some liver and kidney damage and heart murmer... i have also managed to reduce my alcohol intake from 30(often more) units a day to 30 units a week.. this has seriusly helped my liver.
I quit benzo's after an 18month long taper, but only managed about 4 months b4 slowly getting back into them, and now have full blown relapsed into heavy use.
Im on the methadone, i was using morphine and much preferd it as i could use what i want when i wanted..now i have to have 70mls aday or nothing since my bitch of a GP wont let come off dialy suppervised pick up.
I am mentally ill.. anxiety neurosis, depression, sometimes i have breakdowns. My main diagnosis i guess is BPD(borderline personality disorder) which basically means i have trouble with my emotions and cant organise them properly, and cant handle them.. drugs are messily intertwined with that causing both releif and problems. I also have aviodant personality disorder which is another anxiety condition, and also social phobia, another anxiety condition meaning i have trouble dealing with people and life. i dont like life much to be honest..its mostly all pain and suffering..hence im an addict.
these days i lay off the stims (i have the odd weekend lapse maybe 3 times a year) so at the moment im hooked rather badly on benzo's and methadone. I sill drink, but nowhere near as much as i used to. I dont take psychedelics(except weed, but not every day) as i have HPPD.. although HPPD isnt recognised in the UK as far as i can tell but the dissacotiation/DP/DR that comes with it is recognised.
Im also dyslexic so my grammer isnt to good, i was bullied in skool and didnt go very often...so please forgive my bad gramer
hope to make friends, chat shit about drugs, provide accurate information althogh i prefer a laymans approach, i dont have the chemsity knowledge and no doubt many people here know more than me..but i know a fair bit...both text book and personal experiance. Im almost 33 years old.
The text doesant seem to word-wrap very well is there a setting or something to make it abitmore.. well, abit less messy looking?
edit: ahh seems ok now regarding text. its not letting me reply though?
peace!
Im a little more stable these days so hopefully wont happen again.
I have HPPD from bad acid trips and was the admin of the original stormloader HPPD site..i was also a founding member of HPPDonline but fell out with the other 2 coz they were only in it for the money and free clonazepam...i was in it to help people and spread accurate information... they just wanted there own interests taken care of so i left..and the place has gone to shit.
I also am a member and a long term prolific poster of a drug forum on another website which has a drug forum, although the site is very varied with the drug forum being a small but well respected part of the site.(its a self help/information site with alot of good accurate info)
Im an addict..LSD fucked me up at 15 and brought out underlying mental health problems over night.. i then became addicted to alcohol, amphetaine, methamphetamine, benzodiasipines and opaites. I was hooked on the lot for 10 years but managed to quit the amphetamines which took alot of pain and time, im now into my 5th year off any form of speed and only now am i feeling the better.. the first 3 years were pure hell.. i have some liver and kidney damage and heart murmer... i have also managed to reduce my alcohol intake from 30(often more) units a day to 30 units a week.. this has seriusly helped my liver.
I quit benzo's after an 18month long taper, but only managed about 4 months b4 slowly getting back into them, and now have full blown relapsed into heavy use.
Im on the methadone, i was using morphine and much preferd it as i could use what i want when i wanted..now i have to have 70mls aday or nothing since my bitch of a GP wont let come off dialy suppervised pick up.
I am mentally ill.. anxiety neurosis, depression, sometimes i have breakdowns. My main diagnosis i guess is BPD(borderline personality disorder) which basically means i have trouble with my emotions and cant organise them properly, and cant handle them.. drugs are messily intertwined with that causing both releif and problems. I also have aviodant personality disorder which is another anxiety condition, and also social phobia, another anxiety condition meaning i have trouble dealing with people and life. i dont like life much to be honest..its mostly all pain and suffering..hence im an addict.
these days i lay off the stims (i have the odd weekend lapse maybe 3 times a year) so at the moment im hooked rather badly on benzo's and methadone. I sill drink, but nowhere near as much as i used to. I dont take psychedelics(except weed, but not every day) as i have HPPD.. although HPPD isnt recognised in the UK as far as i can tell but the dissacotiation/DP/DR that comes with it is recognised.
Im also dyslexic so my grammer isnt to good, i was bullied in skool and didnt go very often...so please forgive my bad gramer
hope to make friends, chat shit about drugs, provide accurate information althogh i prefer a laymans approach, i dont have the chemsity knowledge and no doubt many people here know more than me..but i know a fair bit...both text book and personal experiance. Im almost 33 years old.
The text doesant seem to word-wrap very well is there a setting or something to make it abitmore.. well, abit less messy looking?
edit: ahh seems ok now regarding text. its not letting me reply though?
peace!
Last edited:
:D
