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Hello I’m Josh and I’m new here but nervous

I’m new to this whole concept of sharing But im Josh I live in Texas . My Vice has been speed occasionally but I have an issue with extremely Toxic Ex GF who is just one of many who enjoyed manipulation and gaslighting me so much that I crave it and use Porn to cope . I’m just lost
Sorry to hear that you feel lost. You should cut off people like that from your life but sounds like you have an issue with trauma bonds.

I would suggest finding another substance to cope with other than hard drugs like speed. I’m a former speed addict myself and all it did when I was high is make me either get into random hookups or most of the time fap and watch porn while on it. When not high it made me extremely depressed to the point of suicidal obsession and hopelessness.

If you need to use a substance to cope(and I understand if you do, I do). I would suggest finding something that’s more functional and that won’t make you hyper sexual.

You will find someone if you keep trying. There are plenty of ppl it there. Just don’t give up or settle for someone that abuses you. And yes manipulation is a form of abuse imo.

I’m making a lot of assumptions here so forgive me if I’m wrong. I don’t know you but these are all things that I see in your wording.

If you have a trauma bond issue you may want to find a good therapist. Idk anyone that overcame trauma bonds without help. It’s an addiction. It literally releases neurotransmitters that you end up craving.
 
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I appreciate the welcome y’all , is this something that happens often or is this odd
 
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