Hello from Baltimore!!

[LostAndConfused88]

Hello everyone, I'm a Brazilian kinda lost in Baltimore. Met someone on Tinder and he wanted me to move in with him and I did. I've lived in Florida for 2 years and have been an addict before back in 2009-2013 when I lived in London (was doing MDMA and coke mostly) Not long after we moved in together I found out he had a drug problem but I was already in love and did not want to leave him... I really do love him. He is a great man with a really good heart, helps people and cares about others so much... I started thinking that was just one problem and we would get over this but this problem very soon became my problem too. I started doing percs and oxys and now I've been doing H for 5 months. I want to quit but the dope makes me feel so f*cking good... I'm so confused and really don't know what to do with myself. I feel like I'm a happier person when I'm on dope but I know how bad this can end. I feel like I can go through anything but I know it's all fake... He's going to an inpatient detox center in 2 weeks, and I was planning to detox at home. Do you think it's a good idea??? I've been reading a lot about it and I'm pretty confident I can do it. Any help/advice will be greatly appreciated %)

I really want to quit, but I know I'll miss the way the H makes me feel... I think I'm strong and I can find something else to make me feel good (and sober). I've been sober before for 2 years and I had a great time, was sleeping 8-10 hours a day... I miss that!

Thanks for reading

 

[Smoky]

Hi, Welcome to Bluelight ! !

You can quit if you really want to, and preparing for the tapering and/or withdrawals is vitally important especially with any kind of cns depressant. You mentioned a book you are reading. Great !

I am going to move your post to a Recovery section. You also might want to look at this ---> (opioids) The Opioid Withdrawal Megathread and FAQ - Bluelight.

Thank you for making an intro

--

I detoxed at home. Hardest thing I ever did, but was so very worth it.

 

[w0w0mg]

I am currently detoxing Cold Turkey from Heroin - I'm on day 4.
It is possible to do it at home - You just need to remember this feeling does not last forever.
You seem like you know you want to make a change, We believe in you!

 

[LostAndConfused88]

Hi Smoky,

I unfortunately relapsed after a few hours because the Subs were not working at all... But this is my second attempt to quit this devastating drug! I've been clean for 19 hours now and no WD (never happened to me... I'm usually sick as fuck after 8,9 hours clean) and working my ass off.

My boyfriend is really sick, it's been almost 24 hours since he used and he already took 10mg Subutex this morning and still feels sick... It's like the Subs don't help him 8( but he promised me this time he won't use. I'm doing my best to trust him!!

In Brazil nobody know what H is. I'm so proud of that!

Thanks for replying it means a lot to me

 

[LostAndConfused88]

Hi w0w0mg,

Congratulations!!! How did that go? Did you quit???
I'm on my second attempt and I want to quit SO BAD lol I think this time I'll do it. I can't forgive myself if I relapse again.

Thank you for sharing that with me, it shows me how strong we can be and it also shows that we shouldn't let such a small thing control our lives

 

[w0w0mg]

I am on day 6 of no heroin!
I am feeling fantastic compared to what I was feeling on day 1 and 2!
You got this! It's sooooo worth it I promise you!
Not feeling sick every morning is awesome!
Please continue your attempt at detoxing, you and your boyfriend deserve it!
Cheers to you and recovering! We got this!

 

[w0w0mg]

My friend is living in Bmore and I was born around there - So I know how hard it is to quit there.
I literally had to move away from where I was staying before cause heroin is so flooded.
It comes from I-95 from NJ. It's horrible.
Just stay strong my friend. If anything - try to go to a detox!
It will be worth it - I promise you.

 

[LostAndConfused88]

OMG it's so much temptation... There's literally 1 dealer in each corner. How the fuck am I gonna do this? It will drive me nuts!!! Still clean...

 

[zombywoof]

cant be that bad it did produce Frank Zappa

 

[w0w0mg]

OMG it's so much temptation... There's literally 1 dealer in each corner. How the fuck am I gonna do this? It will drive me nuts!!! Still clean...

Just take it one day at a time.
Don't give in to the cravings.
Trust me, it's hard at first but over time, the cravings wont be nearly as strong.
If at all possible, change your people, places, and things.
It's always good to start fresh somewhere else. trust me.
Be safe out there in Bmorecareful

 

[LostAndConfused88]

I really want to start fresh but we're stuck here because of his business. Yesterday I was clean all day, started feeling sick and something scary happened. I started pissing and throwing up blood. Me and my fiancee were so scared that he decided to buy dope and next week we will go to the methadone clinic. I think my insides are all messed up... the cravings are easy to deal with but throwing up blood is really fucked up... Boo I'm so sad!

 

[w0w0mg]

Hey there LostAndCondused - I'm just checking up on you.
How have you been doing?
Have you set up your appoint for MMT?