GloomyDawn
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Mar 24, 2017
- Messages
- 7
Hello, fellow travelers. My stellar introduction
I am in my 50's and I have had a difficult life. I have severe chronic depression that is not relieved by medication. However, I have spent 43 of those years trying to self-medicate it, or get sober and get mental health help. Or, refusing to do either. I have had a few small successes with periods of sobriety and years of active addiction, grief, agony, etc. I still consider myself to be a fortunate person as I have not had to go through as much homelessness and deprivation as many who are mentally challenged and who medicated like I have. I am increasingly growing weary and am beginning to suspect I may not be able to achieve any long-term sobriety. But as of this moment, I am still in the fight. I empathize with the underdog, and am usually helping someone else to a foolish degree. I have mostly come to terms with my defects and hope to have not too ugly of an ending to life. I honestly wish that I could stay clean and sober and apply my vast experience of idiocy with drugs and alcohol in the effort to help others stay clean and sober. This has so far eluded me. I hope you who may be reading this have a comfortable like and a bearable philosophy and things go well for you. If you are one of the disenchanted and disenfranchised I hope you know how to seek help and care enough about yourself to do so. It can be so hard sometimes. But mostly it's worth it. Go forth and do not do damage to others and prosper. I'm a firm believer in what goes around, comes around. Y'know, Karma. But I'm not sure why I was selected for the ferkin bad mental hygiene team, and not the cool, super-hip genetic wonder team. Fuckin selection teams anyway.
I am in my 50's and I have had a difficult life. I have severe chronic depression that is not relieved by medication. However, I have spent 43 of those years trying to self-medicate it, or get sober and get mental health help. Or, refusing to do either. I have had a few small successes with periods of sobriety and years of active addiction, grief, agony, etc. I still consider myself to be a fortunate person as I have not had to go through as much homelessness and deprivation as many who are mentally challenged and who medicated like I have. I am increasingly growing weary and am beginning to suspect I may not be able to achieve any long-term sobriety. But as of this moment, I am still in the fight. I empathize with the underdog, and am usually helping someone else to a foolish degree. I have mostly come to terms with my defects and hope to have not too ugly of an ending to life. I honestly wish that I could stay clean and sober and apply my vast experience of idiocy with drugs and alcohol in the effort to help others stay clean and sober. This has so far eluded me. I hope you who may be reading this have a comfortable like and a bearable philosophy and things go well for you. If you are one of the disenchanted and disenfranchised I hope you know how to seek help and care enough about yourself to do so. It can be so hard sometimes. But mostly it's worth it. Go forth and do not do damage to others and prosper. I'm a firm believer in what goes around, comes around. Y'know, Karma. But I'm not sure why I was selected for the ferkin bad mental hygiene team, and not the cool, super-hip genetic wonder team. Fuckin selection teams anyway.
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