cantthinkofone
Greenlighter
I am Mick. I’m new here and not sure how or where to post this thing. If it is moved I hope I can find it again.
As for my username… I'm not being a wise ass. I tried for the longest time to come up with a decent one.
I’m really having a bad time right now and this looks like a good place to find some support.
I’ve been using tramadol for about five years now and it came time to stop last week. I had to stop. I lost my supply. When I started I was told that this shit was not addictive. That was actually not really accurate. It’s fucking brutal. I didn’t know it was possible to get so sad. I’ll start crying at the stupidest things. I started sobbing today at a TV commercial for those little motorized chairs for elderly people.
And I get this leg thing happening if I try to lie down and get some sleep. They call it Restless Leg Syndrome which is a gross fucking understatement. My legs do not feel restless. They feel like they’re trying to leave my ass. Other than that it feels like a bad case of the flu with an undercurrent of terror thrown in.
Someone I know sent me the blue light link because she was worried about me landing badly. I live alone in the woods and it’s not always the best place to get real melancholy. I think I’m doing okay but I’m awful afraid.
It’s 4 am now and I know I won’t sleep. I’ll smoke a little, put headphones on until I let my dogs out at 6. I might get some zzz’s after that but not much.
Adderal seems to help me not feel so sad. I have a little Xanax, valium and ambien. I don’t want to just wing it and hope to stumble on the right formula. If I smoke a little weed before bed in helps with the leg thing. I’m just not gonna buy any more drugs. When these are gone, they’re gone.
I’m hoping that someone here has done this one and can offer me a little advice.
I had a couple of injuries in ’06 and they gave me morphine to start. And don’t get me wrong here… that is not an excuse. I like getting high. I really don’t like it here that much and drugs help with that. I just never knew where to get them.
So getting hurt was fine with me. Anyway, then I was on percs and the oxy thing for a while. When they stopped giving me those I had no access to anything. I live in a small town in the country and I’m not a local. I could buy groceries but that is about it.
Then one day I came across tramadol. It was like an unlimited supply and even though it never really made me high it always made me feel good. It was like putting a soft focus on the world. It didn’t harsh me out any more. The guy I bought from was a veterinarian and I’ve got a lot of other stuff since and during that time too but tramadol has been my steady for the entire time. I was thinking I could take it forever. I didn’t feel like I was on drugs. When girlfriends left I told myself that it could not be the drugs. I know it was. Because they all said it was.
The fact is I realized that I was doing nothing all day long and I knew that pretty soon I would be in some very deep shit. What bothered me the most was that I didn’t care.
I’m really not sure how much I took a day. I got them in containers of either 500 or 1000 50 mg pills.
Typically I would take 300 – 400 mg at a time and usually three times a day. I never really counted. I do not think I ever took more than 1500 - 1700 mg in a day. It was probably 1200 on average. I really didn’t think that this was a dangerous drug. It’s not even a narcotic.
I cannot believe this asshole cut me off completely and without warning because he’s afraid he’d lose his license to practice. It’s kind of backward thinking if you ask me.
I’ve been doing a ton of really heavy outside work and cutting way back on the tramadol quick this past week. Today I took 100 mg at noon then 150 at 6 pm because I started to feel really weird physically and emotionally. I’m gonna try and do the same amount each day until it feels fine. Then I’ll drop by another 50. I have 120 pills left in total from my doctor’s RX and I will have to make those do for this taper.
It hurts bad enough that I was thinking about slapping a Fentanyl patch on. I have one of them. I am a little afraid of that though. I am not sure the tolerances are the same between tramadol and other opiates.
As I post this it is a new day. i did not get any sleep because of the Insane Leg Syndrome. I completely blew my eating plan. I have been doing well and I've dropped 22 of the 40 lbs I want to lose. Other than that I actually feel not too bad but that is usual. It seems to creep up on me during the day. I took 60 Adderall and 100 mg of tramadol.
You all seem like really nice people and it makes me a little emotional to read the things here. So really, you are all angels and may the Divine Power bless you all.
Any advice will be really appreciated. I'm hurting pretty bad. I really want to kick this crap. I was going to tell my doctor yesterday when I saw him but I was afraid he would withhold the RX for tramadol I need to taper off. If I get into real trouble I'll tell him. It's really embarrassing and I'm so ashamed of myself.
Mick
As for my username… I'm not being a wise ass. I tried for the longest time to come up with a decent one.
I’m really having a bad time right now and this looks like a good place to find some support.
I’ve been using tramadol for about five years now and it came time to stop last week. I had to stop. I lost my supply. When I started I was told that this shit was not addictive. That was actually not really accurate. It’s fucking brutal. I didn’t know it was possible to get so sad. I’ll start crying at the stupidest things. I started sobbing today at a TV commercial for those little motorized chairs for elderly people.
And I get this leg thing happening if I try to lie down and get some sleep. They call it Restless Leg Syndrome which is a gross fucking understatement. My legs do not feel restless. They feel like they’re trying to leave my ass. Other than that it feels like a bad case of the flu with an undercurrent of terror thrown in.
Someone I know sent me the blue light link because she was worried about me landing badly. I live alone in the woods and it’s not always the best place to get real melancholy. I think I’m doing okay but I’m awful afraid.
It’s 4 am now and I know I won’t sleep. I’ll smoke a little, put headphones on until I let my dogs out at 6. I might get some zzz’s after that but not much.
Adderal seems to help me not feel so sad. I have a little Xanax, valium and ambien. I don’t want to just wing it and hope to stumble on the right formula. If I smoke a little weed before bed in helps with the leg thing. I’m just not gonna buy any more drugs. When these are gone, they’re gone.
I’m hoping that someone here has done this one and can offer me a little advice.
I had a couple of injuries in ’06 and they gave me morphine to start. And don’t get me wrong here… that is not an excuse. I like getting high. I really don’t like it here that much and drugs help with that. I just never knew where to get them.
So getting hurt was fine with me. Anyway, then I was on percs and the oxy thing for a while. When they stopped giving me those I had no access to anything. I live in a small town in the country and I’m not a local. I could buy groceries but that is about it.
Then one day I came across tramadol. It was like an unlimited supply and even though it never really made me high it always made me feel good. It was like putting a soft focus on the world. It didn’t harsh me out any more. The guy I bought from was a veterinarian and I’ve got a lot of other stuff since and during that time too but tramadol has been my steady for the entire time. I was thinking I could take it forever. I didn’t feel like I was on drugs. When girlfriends left I told myself that it could not be the drugs. I know it was. Because they all said it was.
The fact is I realized that I was doing nothing all day long and I knew that pretty soon I would be in some very deep shit. What bothered me the most was that I didn’t care.
I’m really not sure how much I took a day. I got them in containers of either 500 or 1000 50 mg pills.
Typically I would take 300 – 400 mg at a time and usually three times a day. I never really counted. I do not think I ever took more than 1500 - 1700 mg in a day. It was probably 1200 on average. I really didn’t think that this was a dangerous drug. It’s not even a narcotic.
I cannot believe this asshole cut me off completely and without warning because he’s afraid he’d lose his license to practice. It’s kind of backward thinking if you ask me.
I’ve been doing a ton of really heavy outside work and cutting way back on the tramadol quick this past week. Today I took 100 mg at noon then 150 at 6 pm because I started to feel really weird physically and emotionally. I’m gonna try and do the same amount each day until it feels fine. Then I’ll drop by another 50. I have 120 pills left in total from my doctor’s RX and I will have to make those do for this taper.
It hurts bad enough that I was thinking about slapping a Fentanyl patch on. I have one of them. I am a little afraid of that though. I am not sure the tolerances are the same between tramadol and other opiates.
As I post this it is a new day. i did not get any sleep because of the Insane Leg Syndrome. I completely blew my eating plan. I have been doing well and I've dropped 22 of the 40 lbs I want to lose. Other than that I actually feel not too bad but that is usual. It seems to creep up on me during the day. I took 60 Adderall and 100 mg of tramadol.
You all seem like really nice people and it makes me a little emotional to read the things here. So really, you are all angels and may the Divine Power bless you all.
Any advice will be really appreciated. I'm hurting pretty bad. I really want to kick this crap. I was going to tell my doctor yesterday when I saw him but I was afraid he would withhold the RX for tramadol I need to taper off. If I get into real trouble I'll tell him. It's really embarrassing and I'm so ashamed of myself.
Mick
