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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

TDS Hello can we talk about heroin

I say cuz you suicidal mate.

I was suicidal over anxiety. Of course I got to take 20 drugs that didn't work before I got what did.

It is a benzo and a last resort. There are better options like neurontin which is non narcotic and lyrica which is a lil addictive but I take it for nerve pain but if I forget to take it I know it and feel like shit.

I do think benzos are a last resort and ssris don't work well imho. But something just to calm you down, keep your thoughts from racing, get some sleep. I would go to a physician first because ime psychiatrists over medicate and that can be a rough road. Just remember you don't have to take the whole dose ya know. If you get side effects I would stop and try something different.

You can figure something out or be miserable. I don't want someone to die when they live in got everything going for them. You are young and live in a great country. You got your whole life to die.

Look mate there are bad times and good times. Bad times feel like an eternity but they are shorter than the good times. The duality of humanity is something you gotta accept. The good times make life worth living. I even cherish the shit moments these days.

Figure out something. OP you can pm me if you want to know a bit about being suicidal and not getting help and then getting it and everything changing. I would rather not discuss what I did during those times on here and its probably against the blua. I have a feeling you are probably there or close though.

Either way, be too stubborn to die. Just every day. Its a gift to be alive and in health enough to think. I cherish every breath I take. I have been legally dead more times than I care to think of and its not what you think it will be. I won't talk about that though.

I did overdose on heroin and fent analogues. I was using straight up fent analogues. I overdosed on heroin more times than I remember. It really fucking sucks dude. I have had alcohol poisoning. Dude please just hang in there.

A low dose of an antipsychotic is a better alternative to antidepressants imo. It stopped the thoughts but didn't work for that long and I wasn't psychotic. It kept me going though till I got something that truly worked.
 
thx for the reply dopemaster

I'm in the process of the transition from Risperidone to Trazadone and is going as well as I could hope for. Will be glad to be off Risperidone I feel like it zombiefies and sucks the personality out of me. I would say Risperidone makes me feel like I'm stoned but without any of the euphoria or nice feelings.

One thing I've learned over the years is that happiness really does depend on perspective. It's all about being able to appreciate the good things and accept the bad things (that can't be changed). Unfortunately it appears we don't fully appreciate the good things until they are taken from us.
 
rarerran said:
One thing I've learned over the years is that happiness really does depend on perspective. It's all about being able to appreciate the good things and accept the bad things (that can't be changed). Unfortunately it appears we don't fully appreciate the good things until they are taken from us.
Click to expand...

This is so true. I am almost 63 years old and I still have to work at keeping this perspective. Happiness is a choice. You have to make the choice and then do the mental work. It is nothing more than what we did every day as little kids. Society trains us to be in a constant state of dissatisfaction with ourselves and our circumstances. When you can learn to let that manipulation suffocate before it infects your thoughts, joy just bubbles through.:)
 
back on topic, was thinking about this

1. Prepare heroin and fentanyl for injection
2. take xanax
3. when I start to feel sleepy from the xanax go ahead with the injection

and do in bed in a dark room with plenty of time before anyone will notice I am missing
 
Rarerran, unless I've missed it, I did not see your reasons for wanting to end your life. You seem to be very self aware. Are you comfortable sharing why?

Think of this: Now you know how you can kill yourself easily. That route is always there. You will always have a chance to do it. However, all other options disappear once you go through with it, whether you succesfully die or end up with brain damage and paralysis (for instance my uncle has been mentally retarded, barely able to walk, and incapable of taking care of himself for the last 22 years due to a series of heroin overdoses).

Why not give counseling, life change (once again I don't know your situation), relationships, travelling, or even recreational drug use a shot. That's a last resort and don't become and addiction will make you feel worse. If you really give fixing you problems and getting help a serious go, I guarantee your life will improve and you'll be glad you stayed with us.

And I mean a real, hardcore, no bs effort into getting better. It takes time, so don't give up in a month if you don't feel well right away. I was so depressed and suicidal for months at one point, and I met a girl and my life immediately turned around. It lasted like 8 months, but it got me in a good place.

Suicide is the last resort of last resorts. Please try some other roads first my man.
 
daily recreational drug use (weed) was my last resort (for a problem I had already), and it was helping me cope but now I can't use weed anymore and I don't like alcohol. I'm forced to live sober
 
I'm feeling strongly about suicide. While I don't have the means right now I'm thinking about acquiring everything I need so I do have the means. I now know everything I would need and how to use it. Then all it takes is for me to be in the right frame of mind one night to carry it out. And once is all it takes.

I'm not afraid of death. We all die. I'm not religious at all I don't believe in heaven/hell etc, and it doesn't matter who you are, how "good/bad" you were or anything once you're dead you're dead it's the same death for everyone if that makes sense. And lying in the comfort of my own bed at night feeling a little sleepy from Xanax injecting a very lethal dose of heroin+fentanyl is something I can imagine myself doing. I would want to feel at least a little sleepy before injecting to increase the chance of nodding off sooner.

re what's wrong with me I made a thread here:
http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/811806-Medical-Q-about-MRI-scans?p=13895443#post13895443
 
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Just plain fentanyl will do no need heroin there. The amount just has to be massive so that there is no chance of coming back possibly badly injured. Still thats always a risk if you dont know what youre are doing exactly. And you should not be doing it anyway because you seem too young to make this kind of decision.
 
How massive are we talking? The figures I had in my mind were 200mg fentantyl. But it must be anticipated that the purity is never 100% and the actual dose will be lower than advertised.

Would using heroin+fentanyl not create a powerful synergy (like weed+LSD) amplyfing the effects of each other? Or would it be better like you said to ditch the heroin and use all fentanyl?

What is the max amount of such powder that can be dissolved in 1ml of water anyway? Is there a ratio for this?

I'm aware the brown heroin from Afghanistan that's sold in the UK needs a pinch of citric acid to help dissolve, but will acid be needed to dissolve fentanyl? Damn there are still things I don't know.

A quick Google search apparently tells me the lethal dose for an adult male is a mere 3mg.
 
I've been to countless doctors over the last 15 years (I'm now 29) to see what was and is causing my musculoskelatal pain, severe migraines, spasms, lethargy, anxiety, and so on. I'm not trying to compare our situations and I hate when people say "what I deal with is worse and I'm not suicidal." Everyon is different.

The point I'm trying to make is there are a lot of shitty doctors. IME, most doctors are insensitive know-it-alls. I've spent thousands of dollars seeing the some of the most revered specialists, just to find out they are complete incompetent assholes.
It took me 14 years to finally find a neurologist that didn't look at me like I was an attention/drug seeking hypochondriac. After running tests on me and ruling out a neurological ailment, he referred me to a rheumotoligist.

After 45 minutes of going through my medical history, doing tests, and questioning, she said I had a textbook case of Fibromyalgia. She also couldn't believe how dismissive the 20 plus specialists I've seen were. I always left doctors offices frustrated as hell because it dead end after dead end.

A competent nuerologist should have no problem ordering MRI's, blood tests, and nerve tests. It shouldn't take long to find a neurologist that is willing to figure out what is causing your headaches.

I share the same philosophy exact philosophy of life and death with you. It's hard to handle, but it is also liberating. Why not just hang in there a little longer? Maybe it can be something so simple that Immitrex or another non narcotic medication can successfully manage.

After all, we have forever to find solace in the nothingness that awaits us. I sometimes fall into the darkness that you're experiencing. It's difficult to shake off, especially with a chronic illness. Another year of fighting through the pain to find comfort in life is very well worth it.
Who knows, in 2 months you might feel awesome after finding the proper treatment.
 
rarerran said:
How massive are we talking? The figures I had in my mind were 200mg fentantyl. But it must be anticipated that the purity is never 100% and the actual dose will be lower than advertised.

Would using heroin+fentanyl not create a powerful synergy (like weed+LSD) amplyfing the effects of each other? Or would it be better like you said to ditch the heroin and use all fentanyl?

What is the max amount of such powder that can be dissolved in 1ml of water anyway? Is there a ratio for this?

I'm aware the brown heroin from Afghanistan that's sold in the UK needs a pinch of citric acid to help dissolve, but will acid be needed to dissolve fentanyl? Damn there are still things I don't know.

A quick Google search apparently tells me the lethal dose for an adult male is a mere 3mg.
Click to expand...

Fentanyl just binds to the same receptors much harder than heroin/morphine so it would overpower anyway if you took both in the same shot. Its usually sold as fentanyl citrate which has water solubility of 25mg/ml which should be more than enough to kill. UK Heroin is base heroin which is not water soluble, adding citric acid makes it citrate. But you need to know that your possible fentanyl is citrate or some other salt form, which it usually is.

Some guidelines regarding the dose needed:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17165349

Studying about anesthesia doses are your best bet and it looks like about 2mg IV will most likely ( 90% ) induce anesthesia without a tolerance, if youre normal weight. But because fentanyl has a short half life its possible that the effects dont last long enough to kill and this may leave you disabled. So you need to multiply it to be safe. Also there is risk that you are unable to inject it all if you lose consciusness too fast and again you may be disabled. So there are risks anyway which is why I would not recommend doing it. Heroin+fentanyl is not any better in this sense.

I hope you find another solution still. Maybe you are just depressed with physical symptoms, Ive been though that and convinced about all kinds of physical things wrong, feelings in different part of body etc. but i later learned it was all psychosomatic. Im not saying this is 100% the case but at the time it feels very real and you are unable to distinguish it. Please take this into consideration and seek help for your mental stuff primarily if you are thinking about suicide.
 
Unless it was combined with another method.

Hanging perhaps, put head in noose and balance self so that if I lose consciousness I would be hanged (stool couple feet away, leaning over). And lose consciousness by injecting an OD of fentanyl. That way I would be hanged and have the effects of the fentanyl OD. I have the means to hang myself in my own home.

Hanging while sober isn't something I like the sound of.

Fuck look at what I'm typing I really need help.
 
I just found out there exists a drug called carfentanil which is even more potent than fentanyl.
 
If the lethal dose is 2mg then why am I seeing fentanyl advertised in quantities of 100mg?? Am I missing something or are people really selling it in batches that could kill 50 men?
 
Just about every checmical sold comes in batches that could kill several men. Same goes for prescriptions and otc meds.

Do you think you would be able to make an appointment with a therapist? Why not give it a go?
 
rarerran said:
For what it's worth I'd rather live. I'm 34 that's still young right?
Click to expand...

Definitely. I always look at it as life is quite short anyway why not to look the rest of the cards? Just for the hell of it, if nothing else.
 
You never know for sure. Ivevdone what thought would be enough to kill me and could still walk and talk. Then I've done a little and fell out, started turning purple and probably would've died if I hadn't of had two friends with me
 
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