Hello all from a painkiller junkie

[Opiate$247]

I've been coming here reading the forums for a while but never posted till now. Obviously my drug of choice are rx painkillers with hydrocodone being my favorite. It's a love hate relationship lol. Love em all day long till they're gone then I hate this habit I've developed. Because what's moderation???? Hope you are all having a pleasant day and I look forward to making some new friends.

Much luv
Bob

 

[Smoky]

Hi,
Welcome to the site Bob! Yeah, I understand. Opiates are my drug of choice as well… There isn't much moderation as tolerance will happen physiologically fer sure. ;\. I tried so many times.
I hope your day is going well also.. It's good to have you aboard!

 

[GersPunk]

Hi, yeah i like some of them esp morphine just a pity i can only get it in hospital when i have an op these days.

 

[Bernc1]

Same here unfortunately but I quickly and freely nonetheless became one by having a family member give them to me and then actually needed them due to a "stuck in a rut" abusive marriage I'm in and quickly turned a 5 mg oxycodone habit into a 100 plus per day one and now the warm, great feeling is gone and all they now do is make me extremely sick when I don't have them now I need surgery ASAP...this coming Tuesday and I'm petrified because right after it I will be in wds. It SUCKS after a bit BAD.

 

[GersPunk]

Good luck this Tuesday with your hospital op.

 

[Opiate$247]

Same here unfortunately but I quickly and freely nonetheless became one by having a family member give them to me and then actually needed them due to a "stuck in a rut" abusive marriage I'm in and quickly turned a 5 mg oxycodone habit into a 100 plus per day one and now the warm, great feeling is gone and all they now do is make me extremely sick when I don't have them now I need surgery ASAP...this coming Tuesday and I'm petrified because right after it I will be in wds. It SUCKS after a bit BAD.

Hopefully you'll be getting some morphine after that operation. I hope I never build a tolerance that high. Probably the only reason I haven't yet is because I don't have a supplier who could keep up with that. Most of mine are from legit script from my neurosurgeon. So every month I go a couple weeks without. At first those breaks were hell but my withdraws are barely noticeable anymore physically but mentally I crave them all day.

 

[Bernc1]

Thanks. And that's what I mean...it's hard to tell anyone because it's like "yeah ok, so you spend $700 a week on meds?? No, I've never bought one which made it so easy for me to quickly turn my habit into a horrific one. Yet I can't just go around telling people who my supplier was (as I plan to try my best to quit) since it's a relative. This ironically has been the 1st month that she ran out (and then it usually works that I then get my script filled by then but then I was "cut off" by a new dr)....I'm just tired of the "game". I remember having collected 100 of hers at one time swearing I'd never use that amount but just kind of keeping them (I don't even know why),,,then somethjng would go wrong and I'd be like "ahh, one extra today can't hurt"....oh it did. If I got say just 60 per month, maybe even 90..I'd probably be the same as you.....use them up and then have none for a week or 2. I think the hugest problem is that it's not just physical (which is BAD but also mental).....my last script of 30 did come from my surgeon and then he plans to ween me properly as he said but my insurance isn't going to pay even if he writes another script of oxys out this month. I've just gotten myself into such a mess at such a bad time. If not for the fact I could lose my leg? I'd definitely cancel it all