~heart broken~ (your moving away)

[neverwas]

...this may be un-polished but it seems to be the only way i can deal with shit like this. i found out the other day my dads moving back to the country we came from and im so mixed up over the subject...


Dear Dad,

Some thoughts i had after our conversation the other night...
i felt like sharing,
so maybe i could have a peaceful night.

you're moving home to a place un-kown.
a tale i've always been told,
a place i hardly remember
but somewhere that does exsist.

the 'land of the long white cloud'
where sheep roam free
and weird accents plague words with 'e'

you're packing up and moving away
im trying to understand
what's made you go this way.

have i done something wrong?
do you not want me in your life?
sure im inter-state, but the reason for that was your new stupid wife!

confused
upset
scared
angry
maybe also a bit amazed.

am i being selfish in wanting you to stay here?

why would you leave me hear...

alone

with no relatives
how am i to deal
with you moving away?

its been four years now since under your roof i lived.
its been 12 months
since your cheek last i kissed.

just when my life was finally becoming complete,
you tell me this
send my spiralling back into another heap.

id like to thank you for the shit that you chose to un-load.
the now restless nights brought on by you.
i can already feel the distance begin to grow.

you tell me of this place
ever since i was a child.
my natural heritage
my place to call home...

home, where is that?
nothing familiar but the bond with my best friend.
re-placement families mean more now than ever.

scared
crying...
i dont want to be alone.

my father is moving away...

just like my mother did...

she only left me a note...

at least he has the guts to say...

 

[BopGirl]

Hey babe! Lot's of emotions in there!

Sorry to hear the news ... but there's one way to look at it. Even though you're father is moving away, he isn't gone for good?

He's still in your life, if only from a distance from now on ...

It's these finer things we all learn to appreciate

Miss ya hun! Chat soon :D

 

[E-girl]

I dont know enough about your situation to know the terms on which your dad is leaving. That being said, my reply can only be as good as the assumptions I've made in my head.

Either way you look at it though, it can be positive.

If your dad is leaving and its on bad terms -- that he really doesnt care whether or not it matters to you, and that its only in his best interest.... well then, i've learned that when someone who really doesnt care says goodbye, you make that a turning point in your life and you decide that day to push them out of your life. Because someone who doesnt care about you doesnt deserve you hanging on to them like extra luggage. And someday they will look back and realize what they gave up.

But if he has entirely different reasons for leaving, and doesnt really want to leave YOU but its what's best for him right now, then you stay in touch and you cherish any time you get to spend with them... and all the moments in-between are spent in anticipation of seeing them again, so its that much sweeter when you really do. The love between a father and a daughter isn't the same as romantic love, which has little if ANY chance of lasting long-distance. Love like this has longer, stronger bounds... and then you just need to accept this for what it is -- life, showing you a road you didnt know was there.

Whatever the situation is, i hope it works out. And just remember -- family is not just who you start out in life with ... family is the people who love you NOW, too.