Healthy relationship, still possible?

[smokeymcpot42088]

Hey, so I am 35 with quite the history but ill stay succint.

I am an oldschool type of dude who would prefer meeting someone organically. The thing with that is I live in the middle of the woods and haven't met anyone since I moved out here 10 years ago.

10 yrs ago I was in a long term committed relationship, the girl lived with MY PARENTS and I for 8 years. I thought surely I was to marry her; until she snuck out of the bed to break and enter into someones house to steal a bottle of medication that was LITERALLY on the nightstand. She had to walk past the bottle (which she was welcome to on some blind eye shit) to go commit this crime. Why? Idk or care; obviously she couldn't be trusted. 15-25yrs old for me.

Before that I was in a relationship for 4 yrs until the girl moved away; tried to do long distance but I was 14 I think lol...

Well that first one I mentioned plus other events have led me to become pretty jaded. At 25 I moved out here to 'work on me' and I have been. Dropped a triple digit benzo habit daily and returned to under my scripted amount.. Still working on suboxone but comin up on 36 I realize I expire soon decent relationship wise.

Now despite having worked on myself and having a bit of money in the bank I dont whisper a word about.... I come off as a pauper, no car, no job (both choices), live with my mother (again by choice but finances certainly helped the decision along).....

So basically I been in a steady relationship since the 8th grade than I dropped off the datinng map to work on myself. Any idea of 1. Is it even fair for me to date someone and 2. how would someone like me do such without seeming "thirsty" as the kids say or a fuckboy or w/e lol.

Thanks for your time.

 

[paltatomate]

but comin up on 36 I realize I expire soon decent relationship wise.

I come off as a pauper, no car, no job (both choices), live with my mother (again by choice but finances certainly helped the decision along).....

Sorry, but that's bull. In all those years of working on yourself, you still have those decades old cliches stuck in your mind.
You can enter into a romantic relationship at any age beyond your first date. And what does "decent" even mean to you?

Then if you feel like a pauper, that's a subjective thing. Objectively you are not. Stop thinking in terms of material things. If you chose not to have a car, then whatever person you date should respect that decision as part of who you are. Same with every other choice you made.

1. Is it even fair for me to date someone

I don't believe much in romantic relationships, and eveness in marriage. But I think everyone has the right do date/marry/play around as long as it's done in a respectful and honest way. The thing is that people desperate to have a partner tend to be overoptimistic when they meet, then rush things along, only to realize later on that they didn't have anything in common to begin with.

2. how would someone like me do such without seeming "thirsty" as the kids say or a fuckboy or w/e lol.

By working on the first two points.
Look at the positive things you have to offer. Do you have a good sense of humor? Or maybe you are a good listener? Be home more aware of that, instead of things like age and cars. Or the need to fulfill anyone's but your own expectations regarding your relationships (like what is "decent").

 

[AngelsandFairiesarereal]

It’s always possible

 

[ClementinesRevenge]

I felt like I had to be single to work on myself for sometime, and I think in some situations it may be true, but in general, if you are serious about finding somebody you can work on yourself, while being in a relationship.

I would say, definitely have to find somebody that has the same goals as you in life -example I do not want any children from here on out the rest of my life. I just turned 30 something and I had talked to somebody who really wanted kids. That’s just not happening-so make sure you find somebody that shares the same life goals as you because that makes it a lot easier.

Also continue working/having an identity outside of the relationship-
Keep your hobbies, your friends, or whatever you do now for “self-care” continue doing. I think it’s really easy to get lost and somebody and then it gets all fucked up.

Good luck dating is weird

 

[RyGly76]

It’s always possible

Hey, so I am 35 with quite the history but ill stay succint.

I am an oldschool type of dude who would prefer meeting someone organically. The thing with that is I live in the middle of the woods and haven't met anyone since I moved out here 10 years ago.

10 yrs ago I was in a long term committed relationship, the girl lived with MY PARENTS and I for 8 years. I thought surely I was to marry her; until she snuck out of the bed to break and enter into someones house to steal a bottle of medication that was LITERALLY on the nightstand. She had to walk past the bottle (which she was welcome to on some blind eye shit) to go commit this crime. Why? Idk or care; obviously she couldn't be trusted. 15-25yrs old for me.

Before that I was in a relationship for 4 yrs until the girl moved away; tried to do long distance but I was 14 I think lol...

Well that first one I mentioned plus other events have led me to become pretty jaded. At 25 I moved out here to 'work on me' and I have been. Dropped a triple digit benzo habit daily and returned to under my scripted amount.. Still working on suboxone but comin up on 36 I realize I expire soon decent relationship wise.

Now despite having worked on myself and having a bit of money in the bank I dont whisper a word about.... I come off as a pauper, no car, no job (both choices), live with my mother (again by choice but finances certainly helped the decision along).....

So basically I been in a steady relationship since the 8th grade than I dropped off the datinng map to work on myself. Any idea of 1. Is it even fair for me to date someone and 2. how would someone like me do such without seeming "thirsty" as the kids say or a fuckboy or w/e lol.

Thanks for your time.

EXPIRE SOON RELATIONSHIP WISE?? bro your 35, there's good years left! But in your situation and where you live and what not it's going to be kind of difficult. Plus you don't want to meet a nice girl just to bring her back to your mom's house