TheStarOnIR
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2013
- Messages
- 61
Hello Everyone,
I am a 22 year old white male, 5’9 generously; I do often fluctuate between 140-150lbs for what it’s worth. As a child I consistently had seen psychiatrists off and on from a very young age up to my late teens. My diagnosis was defined to be Severe ADD/ADHD as well as Severe Depression, Social Anxiety, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, etc. Truthfully, all of which I believe to be circumnavigated around the perimeter of ADD/ADHD. I have been on nearly every CNS stimulant available; these seem to be the most effective way of controlling all of my conditions in one medication.
I am half-ass medically literate, even more so in regards to the Chemical structure of medication, I am familiar with the pharmacokinetics of Amphetamine, Dextroamphetamine, Lisdexamfetamine Dimesylate, and the other spectrum such as methylphenidate compounded psychostimulants. I am aware of the effects (negative and positive). I do in fact feel as if the benefit outweighs the risk. I just would like a professional opinion based on the information I have provided below.
Truthfully in my youth I was very ashamed/ embarrassed by my condition. I dreaded the fact that I was mandated to take medication between classes. It was simply me being socially anxious, I guess, I was self-conscious. My father hated the fact that I took medication (so did I), my mother on the other hand felt it was imperative I do so.
In 2006, I completely quit taking everything all together, in the midst of my second run as a freshman in high school while taking Concerta (supposedly). I suffered the consequences drastically; I took the path to self-destruction and chose to be social rather than productive in my schooling. In turn, 3 months later I officially had dropped out of school. Now I am left to painstakingly admit that 8th grade was the last completed curriculum I have completed.
I took the G.E.D. test 6 days later and passed, I then took the A.C.T. shortly after that. By some act of god I scored a 24.00 my 1st attempt and a 29.00 2 days later. I now acquire Adderall usually (30mg) IR, (30mg) XR other times. The variations are in contingency per the individual in question. I will say this sternly -They all are close, trustworthy, productive, and responsible friends of mine with legitimate prescriptions-
^ (I know, Please oversee the contradiction here, you should get the gist behind my justification). ^
Now that I am aware of my condition I know its benefits are more than considerably advantageous. I am consistently productive, my anxiety has decreased, this particularly in regards to my anxiety concerning my general health, for this has been a HUGE issue for me, one that started as hypochondriasis later converted into Somatoform Disorder. It has been just as crippling, maybe more so than my lack thereof in terms of motivation. All of this I owe directly to CNS Stimulations flawless dexterity. During the course of its duration it is beyond evident that all of my Catecholamine’s seem to be conducive, and properly balanced. I’m aware my opinion has no validity credible enough to matter medically definitive to proper diagnostic and treatment potential but I know myself, and on this medication my neurotransmission is completely conventional. Enough that I confidently say precisely mimics that of a traditional well human being whom does so naturally. I am in correlation with normality. That feels amazing, more importantly relieving.
However, within the glorification conveyed, it does on occasion present some negative side effects, some of which could be serious. Possibly the most significant being pre-adaptation/ tolerance I am ridden by insomnia, I have stayed up for an excessive of 24 hours plus. This does subside a few days into self-treatment. Another being, I often crave to subject myself to a social atmosphere, one that is much more fashionable and acceptable. I have found that I bargain with myself, I "earn it" by accomplishing these tasks/ and filling my obligations prior. I tend to be very sharp and intuitive, yet so much that it’s annoying to my peers I feel like, as if they are secretly aggravated by my effort to know everything. I am excessively pedantic, although I have always been that way naturally. In conclusion my point here is it seems that I am capable of "Making my Way" just as long as I am on this medication.
I began writing a whole lot; this is something completely out of my character, in fact an activity I have never practiced. However, I have received positive responses widespread. My readers admire me and I am delighted to receive these compliments. I was asked to Co-Author a book recently which was very cool, something I never would have been capable of prior. So possibly the stilted verbiage has its place in my writing solving that issue. Is it possible that medicinal mitigation via CNS Stimulants is truly my means to having a lucrative career, a normal life, my golden gateway to being, in a word, “Happy?” I mean, come on let’s face it- Realistically, Is that a bad thing...?
In conclusion am I in fact mentally ill, am I unfit to naturally maintain mental wellbeing? Is it necessary for me to discuss or at the least consider restructuring my treatment plan? I want, and to be honest feel that I will be using this medication regardless; I just want to do it the correct way under professional care. I don’t want to approach my Psych and inadvertently give him speculative concerns leading to an assumption that I may have an addiction or dependence.
I look forward to your opinion/ advice.
Thank You
I am a 22 year old white male, 5’9 generously; I do often fluctuate between 140-150lbs for what it’s worth. As a child I consistently had seen psychiatrists off and on from a very young age up to my late teens. My diagnosis was defined to be Severe ADD/ADHD as well as Severe Depression, Social Anxiety, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, etc. Truthfully, all of which I believe to be circumnavigated around the perimeter of ADD/ADHD. I have been on nearly every CNS stimulant available; these seem to be the most effective way of controlling all of my conditions in one medication.
I am half-ass medically literate, even more so in regards to the Chemical structure of medication, I am familiar with the pharmacokinetics of Amphetamine, Dextroamphetamine, Lisdexamfetamine Dimesylate, and the other spectrum such as methylphenidate compounded psychostimulants. I am aware of the effects (negative and positive). I do in fact feel as if the benefit outweighs the risk. I just would like a professional opinion based on the information I have provided below.
Truthfully in my youth I was very ashamed/ embarrassed by my condition. I dreaded the fact that I was mandated to take medication between classes. It was simply me being socially anxious, I guess, I was self-conscious. My father hated the fact that I took medication (so did I), my mother on the other hand felt it was imperative I do so.
In 2006, I completely quit taking everything all together, in the midst of my second run as a freshman in high school while taking Concerta (supposedly). I suffered the consequences drastically; I took the path to self-destruction and chose to be social rather than productive in my schooling. In turn, 3 months later I officially had dropped out of school. Now I am left to painstakingly admit that 8th grade was the last completed curriculum I have completed.
I took the G.E.D. test 6 days later and passed, I then took the A.C.T. shortly after that. By some act of god I scored a 24.00 my 1st attempt and a 29.00 2 days later. I now acquire Adderall usually (30mg) IR, (30mg) XR other times. The variations are in contingency per the individual in question. I will say this sternly -They all are close, trustworthy, productive, and responsible friends of mine with legitimate prescriptions-
^ (I know, Please oversee the contradiction here, you should get the gist behind my justification). ^
Now that I am aware of my condition I know its benefits are more than considerably advantageous. I am consistently productive, my anxiety has decreased, this particularly in regards to my anxiety concerning my general health, for this has been a HUGE issue for me, one that started as hypochondriasis later converted into Somatoform Disorder. It has been just as crippling, maybe more so than my lack thereof in terms of motivation. All of this I owe directly to CNS Stimulations flawless dexterity. During the course of its duration it is beyond evident that all of my Catecholamine’s seem to be conducive, and properly balanced. I’m aware my opinion has no validity credible enough to matter medically definitive to proper diagnostic and treatment potential but I know myself, and on this medication my neurotransmission is completely conventional. Enough that I confidently say precisely mimics that of a traditional well human being whom does so naturally. I am in correlation with normality. That feels amazing, more importantly relieving.
However, within the glorification conveyed, it does on occasion present some negative side effects, some of which could be serious. Possibly the most significant being pre-adaptation/ tolerance I am ridden by insomnia, I have stayed up for an excessive of 24 hours plus. This does subside a few days into self-treatment. Another being, I often crave to subject myself to a social atmosphere, one that is much more fashionable and acceptable. I have found that I bargain with myself, I "earn it" by accomplishing these tasks/ and filling my obligations prior. I tend to be very sharp and intuitive, yet so much that it’s annoying to my peers I feel like, as if they are secretly aggravated by my effort to know everything. I am excessively pedantic, although I have always been that way naturally. In conclusion my point here is it seems that I am capable of "Making my Way" just as long as I am on this medication.
I began writing a whole lot; this is something completely out of my character, in fact an activity I have never practiced. However, I have received positive responses widespread. My readers admire me and I am delighted to receive these compliments. I was asked to Co-Author a book recently which was very cool, something I never would have been capable of prior. So possibly the stilted verbiage has its place in my writing solving that issue. Is it possible that medicinal mitigation via CNS Stimulants is truly my means to having a lucrative career, a normal life, my golden gateway to being, in a word, “Happy?” I mean, come on let’s face it- Realistically, Is that a bad thing...?
In conclusion am I in fact mentally ill, am I unfit to naturally maintain mental wellbeing? Is it necessary for me to discuss or at the least consider restructuring my treatment plan? I want, and to be honest feel that I will be using this medication regardless; I just want to do it the correct way under professional care. I don’t want to approach my Psych and inadvertently give him speculative concerns leading to an assumption that I may have an addiction or dependence.
I look forward to your opinion/ advice.
Thank You
