The guy who texted me "Fuq U" when I told him I thought I was pregnant last year, the guy I'd been good friends with since 2005 when he DJ'd the club I danced at, well, he replied to a kinda not nice posting I made for him on my Facebook page... and I was surprised he'd replied at all.
Too long and too uninteresting of a story to say much more about, but I had kinda trashed him publicly (very unlike me nowadays, in the past, YES, but not anymore) for something disrespectful he did regarding something business related from over a year ago. He replied a lot more stable than I thought he might, though had a few incorrectly assumed ideas about me, which I set him straight about... but for someone who never talks to his exes and is often pretty hard to get close to, he said he had been wanting to hear from the OLD me, before I was arrested and in rehab (which he didn't know about till I told him in replying to his reply.)
Anyway, he said he wants to meet up to catch up, he is scared I might still be overly emotional and nutso like I was the month before I got arrested. But I am not like that anymore, that was something that happened with me I won't ever be sure why, but it's not ever happening again. It wasn't even because of major drug use, it was just like I was having a nervous breakdown or something. Really.
I am truly hoping we have the same platonic friendship we had had for years before... which was ruined (I feel) by the few times we had sex. (He doesn't think it affected anything, I think it made our friendship much more tense and what was worse is the sex was not even good, so he wasn't feeling so great about that either...) Really if you want to ruin something with someone, have sex with them. I mean, it won't ruin it all the time but it's the best way to ruin something if it was at the wrong time or the wrong place or for the wrong reasons...
We are both pretty casual about that though so prob won't even think much about it. (I won't but he's a guy so he probably will be thinking about it even if he pretends not to.)
I feel like a teen getting into dating again, it's been so long. I know he's not DATING me, and I don't even think we could last as a couple, because he seems to like girls who are older than him, no self-confidence, not attractive at all, who will do a lot for him, and who tend to be really jealous and they will confront you for no reason. I'm a different kind of girl than that.
He said I never tried to really get to know him, which hurt me because I spent years trying NOT TO invade his deep privacy but at the same time trying to gain his friendship and trust and let him know I wasn't around for some ulterior motives. he's not an open book like the guys I've been in long term relationships with in the past.... he has a ton of things I find attractive and those things are what actually helps us keep up our friendship, interests in musical tastes that most others don't share, ideas about quantum physics and people in general, ideas about letting loose and being silly and goofy sometimes and not caring what others think..
It's just been a long time since I've known someone I connect well with, even if on a platonic level, and I didn't want to lose that with him, so I was surprised and glad he is open to continue communication with me.
I am actually shocked by that, but he is so private he would never tell me if he had feelings for me at all an if that is why he decided pretty fast to ignore what shit went on between us, the awkward few bad sexual encounters we had, and the mean words we spit out.
He's the type who does "little things" that actually mean a lot. I am the type who appreciates that more than most things. I love getting a personally mixed CD of new tracks made just for me, or a painting that was based on something to do about me, or ideas for photos taken of me that someone put a lot of personal thought about me into. A text saying goodnight, or giving me a vintage t-shirt that reminds him of me but only cost like $2. Little things like that are what make me so happy, but unfortunately most people I know never do things like that for me at all, even though it just seems so easy.... maybe because *I* do things like that for people... make them CDs or playlists, print them up photos I took, paint them little pictures, small things that took a bit of emotional input and time.
Anyway, I have no expectations but it made me very happy he even wanted to continue talking to me after all the shit we went thought, much of it my fault.
I have only a few friends at this time, whom I only see once a week or less, and I'm picky of who I let in because I am afraid I will say something about jail or drugs or not having a job or car or living with my parents still or any of that. So someone who can actually overlook that and still talk with me about other important and interesting things is someone I won't take for granted.
Too long and too uninteresting of a story to say much more about, but I had kinda trashed him publicly (very unlike me nowadays, in the past, YES, but not anymore) for something disrespectful he did regarding something business related from over a year ago. He replied a lot more stable than I thought he might, though had a few incorrectly assumed ideas about me, which I set him straight about... but for someone who never talks to his exes and is often pretty hard to get close to, he said he had been wanting to hear from the OLD me, before I was arrested and in rehab (which he didn't know about till I told him in replying to his reply.)
Anyway, he said he wants to meet up to catch up, he is scared I might still be overly emotional and nutso like I was the month before I got arrested. But I am not like that anymore, that was something that happened with me I won't ever be sure why, but it's not ever happening again. It wasn't even because of major drug use, it was just like I was having a nervous breakdown or something. Really.
I am truly hoping we have the same platonic friendship we had had for years before... which was ruined (I feel) by the few times we had sex. (He doesn't think it affected anything, I think it made our friendship much more tense and what was worse is the sex was not even good, so he wasn't feeling so great about that either...) Really if you want to ruin something with someone, have sex with them. I mean, it won't ruin it all the time but it's the best way to ruin something if it was at the wrong time or the wrong place or for the wrong reasons...
We are both pretty casual about that though so prob won't even think much about it. (I won't but he's a guy so he probably will be thinking about it even if he pretends not to.)
I feel like a teen getting into dating again, it's been so long. I know he's not DATING me, and I don't even think we could last as a couple, because he seems to like girls who are older than him, no self-confidence, not attractive at all, who will do a lot for him, and who tend to be really jealous and they will confront you for no reason. I'm a different kind of girl than that.
He said I never tried to really get to know him, which hurt me because I spent years trying NOT TO invade his deep privacy but at the same time trying to gain his friendship and trust and let him know I wasn't around for some ulterior motives. he's not an open book like the guys I've been in long term relationships with in the past.... he has a ton of things I find attractive and those things are what actually helps us keep up our friendship, interests in musical tastes that most others don't share, ideas about quantum physics and people in general, ideas about letting loose and being silly and goofy sometimes and not caring what others think..
It's just been a long time since I've known someone I connect well with, even if on a platonic level, and I didn't want to lose that with him, so I was surprised and glad he is open to continue communication with me.
I am actually shocked by that, but he is so private he would never tell me if he had feelings for me at all an if that is why he decided pretty fast to ignore what shit went on between us, the awkward few bad sexual encounters we had, and the mean words we spit out.
He's the type who does "little things" that actually mean a lot. I am the type who appreciates that more than most things. I love getting a personally mixed CD of new tracks made just for me, or a painting that was based on something to do about me, or ideas for photos taken of me that someone put a lot of personal thought about me into. A text saying goodnight, or giving me a vintage t-shirt that reminds him of me but only cost like $2. Little things like that are what make me so happy, but unfortunately most people I know never do things like that for me at all, even though it just seems so easy.... maybe because *I* do things like that for people... make them CDs or playlists, print them up photos I took, paint them little pictures, small things that took a bit of emotional input and time.
Anyway, I have no expectations but it made me very happy he even wanted to continue talking to me after all the shit we went thought, much of it my fault.
I have only a few friends at this time, whom I only see once a week or less, and I'm picky of who I let in because I am afraid I will say something about jail or drugs or not having a job or car or living with my parents still or any of that. So someone who can actually overlook that and still talk with me about other important and interesting things is someone I won't take for granted.