HDDP? with muscle problems and random bruising.

[pleasehelpme242424]

HPPD ************ Sorry I messed up Hallucinogen persisting perception disorder

Hello lovelies! 2.5 months ago I had an onset of all the HDDP symptoms after using "molly"--which was white powder most likely mixed with RCs--for the first time (drug history: alcohol..if that counts, some weed, just this one molly *cry*, and 1 weak ass acid tab that gave me faint distortions 5 hours later that only lasted for 5 min..smh).

In any case, I have HDDP 90% sure. With that, I notice when I squeeze a fist and hold it for 5-10 seconds my muscles cramps up/locks.
If you have HDDP as well, please try this on your hand. I would like feedback to see if I am not the only one.
Also, I am getting random bruises on my legs and arms. So again if you have HDDP and have noticed bruises gradually appearing without external cause, let me know!

I hope you understand I ask all this to either be 9% more sure I'm HDDP positive or...something else may be in the mix. Thank you!!!!!!!!!


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Other information that may be helpful for others who's interested in helping me!:
- My symptoms gradually worsen by the day

• 
  
  [*]ringing in both ears, now i have this constant buzzing or white noise...it's getting louder or more noticeable.
  
  [*]light sensitivity
  
  [*]lack of depth perception
  
  [*]everything with light looks like it's closing
  
  [*]double texts when reading.. it's like a glowing shadow above, underneath, or diagonal from where it's truly fixated
  
  [*]white, blue and black visual snow/static worst when waking up and rubbing eye; to the point it makes objects look like they're breathing or moving closer or further from me.
  
  [*]tunnel vision
  
  [*]same day memories feel weeks old
  
  [*]fatigue
  
  [*]Palinopsia (visual trailing and afterimages)
  
  [*]Enhanced entoptic phenomena (floaters, photopsia, blue field entoptic phenomenon, self-light of the eye)
  
  [*]impaired night vision
  
  [*]hard to locate sound and distinguish its volume
  
  [*]will see rainbows more often and longer reflecting off of lights etc
  
  [*]when I shake my head, my vision seems like it's in stop motion or frame by frame
  
  [*]headaches, continuous tightening of the forehead
  
  [*]unmotivated (I'm a straight A student but I haven't even registered for this coming semester which starts in a month. And when this all started, it happened during finals week, where in which I didn't show up to 3 of my finals and blew 2. But miraculously I guess my profs liked me enough to give me A's in all 4 of my classes except for 1. lol s'ok. I can override that with a new grade.)
  
  [*]constant numbness throughout body.. psychologically touch is the most important human sense.. and I didn't need to take Psychology to know that.
  
  [*]when I close my eyes it's like I almost forget where I am. Opening my eyes afterwards jumps my heart a little and I think to myself, "that's how this room looked like" or "I'm still here?"
  
  [*]major sleep difficulties.
  
  [*]anxiety, panic, depression
  
  [*]tripping over words
  
  [*]depersonalization/derealization
  
  [*]brain fog despite everything else this symptom probably bothers me the most. I never knew how fast thinking I was before all this happened. As they say you never know what you have until its gone... But I'm still keeping my heads up! As should you! I think anything is possible!
  
  [*]And praising and praying to God helps alleviate my symptoms. (How does this correlate with HDDP? I ask because I was thinking emerging myself into a more therapeutic lifestyle would encourage the success of my recovery..but a little hesitant because I don't want to live as a 'monk' or nun per se for the rest of my life)
  
  [*]I'll add more later when I think of them.
  
  

 

[Felonious Monk]

Do you mean HPPD? I've never heard of HDDP.

Many of the symptoms you mentioned sound psychosomatic.

 

[pleasehelpme242424]

I literally do not know how I mixed the abbreviations up but yes, HPPD. And okay going to look into that. Thanks!

 

[herbavore]

^I mix it up all the time and I do the same thing with anything that is an abbreviation. Anyway, I agree with Felonious that it sounds like you have let yourself slip into a hyper-awareness of everything that normally happens to a body. Once you start seeing all of them as symptoms rather than anomalies, you can become stressed and create even more "symptoms" (especially visual). But the safest thing to do is to go to a doctor and report the symptoms--all of them. No need to say where you think they originated, just get yourself thoroughly checked out. In the meantime try to do relaxation meditations where you picture your body working as it should in perfect health. Fear is a powerful chemical in our bodies and can do a lot of harm.

 

[pleasehelpme242424]

hello there herbavore! Thank you for your response! And I have met with 30-40 different doctors including many specialists such as rhemotologists, psychiatrists, therapists, otolaryngologists, opthalmologist, neurologist, etc. I got a CT and MRI scan of my brain and multiple blood tests all came out normal. But I was diagnosed with anxiety along with around 10 prescriptions including: seroquel, lexapro, Zoloft, Xanax, ambien cr, Ativan, and some other shit. All of which I took for a some week and stopped because I did not like the affect it was having on me. Zoloft and seroquel worsened my conditions. As this is all gradually worsening by the day. I personally feel calm but my body disagrees. Doctors are shit and will continue to diagnose me as just anxious when it's much more than that. Now I have medical bills from the 3 ER visits. Ugh. I'm trying to just do this on my own now. Which is why I seek help from those who have experienced this.