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HBWR - First time - Nightmarish trip

noahfor

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 28, 2004
Messages
43
HBW nightmarish trip

At about 6 p.m friday I took 4 Hawaiian Baby Woodrose seeds. 3 hours later I was tripping. I had some visual disturbances, you know. I then proceeded to take 4 more seeds. For a couple hours I philosophized with a group of my friends. I listened to music. I was ecstatic. Nothing mattered. It was a normal trip for me. At maybe 11:30 p.m my trip started getting alot more visual. Neon lines on everything. I was in my apartement. I was looking at my cigarette and could see scenes in the ash. Unicorns, distorted faces. I was listening to Tool's lateralus because I had been using an infinite funnel shaped spiral as an analogy for life and feelings and everything. When I started seeing things in my cigarette I decided to go lay down in bed with my girlfriend. I began saying stuff:

A poet
A smile
A wink
Am I you
Is it you dad
Are we water
Understanding
Meaning

And she was saying the same sorts of things

I could become water, I could melt into her. I thought she knew what I was thinking, and knew I knew. I began thinking about things I had heard people say: synesthesia, telepathy, and I thought I was them. I thought I was everybody, and only I and my family existed. I got up and restarted the album. I layed back down. I could melt into the bed I could leave my body. I saw my dad's face on her's.

A mirror

The trip began mimicking the album. I had a grudge which turned into gold. I had to wait it out. Where are you, my girlfriend said. I knew the pieces fit because I had just watched them fall away. Then she fell asleep. She was snoring more and more slowly, and I thought she was dying. She died. Ticks and leeches came on. I began choking. I was battling the ticks and leeches. When I closed my eyes I could see neon line drawings of people being choked by snakes, and I was being choking. It all looked like alex gray artwork. I was him, bill hicks, and maynard. I was an infant. I died. I began to blink with the music. I was coming back to life. Time must be rewinding. The moon told me that secret. I was living the album, but it was all that existed. I had to get back to the beginning. As I blinked the world began unfolding like origami, like a pentagon. The folding turned into a spiral. I got up went into the living room and kicked the coffee table as hard as I could. Layed down and punched a box off the wall. I went back into the bedroom and pulled my girlfriend out of bed by her hair. I broke her necklace. I went back into the living room then came back into the bed room and punched her in the face. I wasn't trying to hurt her, I was not violent. I didn't even want to do it. It was just happening and I was watching it. This was the bad part and I just had to live through it until I started to spiral backwards to the beginning. I thought I had been but I was just being tricked. I thought if I could make it back to the beginning then I would be god. My friend came in the room and stopped me from attacking my girlfriend. We began to wrestle. He subdued me. As he was sitting on top of me his face began to change into mine.

A mirror

Was he the answer, or was red. My girlfriend came and layed next to me. My body was spiraling. She was the answer. I had to love her for it all to stop, but I only wanted to love herso that it could stop. I was being selfish, so I began screaming her name louder and louder. They had to muffle my screaming with a pillow as we were in an apartment building.

I had been living my life over and over again. It was all a spiral. The same day over and over. Every occurance that had ever happened to me or anyone fit into this mold. Everything was the same. It became too much for me, and I just layed down. I didn't want to be spiraling. I just kissed my girlfriend. At this point I started to come down because before I was not in control of my actions I was just watching them like a movie, but now I could decide to do things. It ended shortly after.

There is alot more that happened that I can't really explain. When I read something like this I don't believe it, but this was real. I could have killed someone or myself. Be careful. Now I'm afraid I'm schizophrenic. The whole time this was happening I had no idea that I was tripping, or that anyone or anything existed outside of this experience. I was not hurting anyone because they didn't exist. They weren't people. They were just part of me. Of course they really were real. Also, my girlfriend had taken the same amount of seeds I had, and barely anything happened to her. I had also quit taking prozac about a week before. A very stupid idea to do this such a short time later, but I have tripped off of many substances many times and it has never even come close to this.
 
This is a strange but very interesting report. LSA is one of my favorite psychedelics. I have had awesome experiences with it, and as far as I am concerned, it is better than "the great" LSD.

Also, Tool's "Lateralus" album is one of the best to jam during a psychedelic experience. I use it for 2C-E alot.

You mentioned that you've tripped off of many substances, but none were like this. What other psychedelics have you used? People think that Morning Glory and HBW seeds are a weak substitute for LSD. This couldn't be a more wrong assumption. I had one of my hardest trips on 12g of Heavenly Blue Morning Glory seeds.

Anyhow, I must give you some credit. This report gives very good detail of the character of LSA.
 
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I've used LSD about 5 times, Mushrooms 3 times, 2c-b 3 times, 2c-i once, and san pedro once, only two times even came close, one mushroom trip, and the san pedr. Had I not taken the 4 more seeds it probably would have been fine. It was very pleasant up until my girlfriend fell asleep.

The thing is. I feel like I have to do it again, but I'm scared. I want to battle it, and come out victorious. I'm not violent at all. I don't want to hurt anyone, and I want to feel like I never could again.
 
I have experience with Mescaline (Peyote), 2C-B, 2C-C, 2C-D, 2C-E, 2C-I, 2C-T-7, LSD, LSA, Mushrooms, Miprocin (4-HO-MiPT), Iprocin (4-HO-DiPT), 4-AcO-MiPT, 4-AcO-DiPT, 5-MeO-DMT, 5-MeO-DiPT, Salvia, DXM, Ketamine, MDMA, MDA, Methylone, IAP and Cannabis. I know this is a long list, but I just wanted to let you know how many different psychedelics I have tried keeping in mind that LSA is still one of my favorites.

However, I can't say that I ever want to battle an experience. Ego loss is not something that can be ruled over. I tried to battle my very first psychedelic experience (one hit of very high quality LSD), and I lost. Since then, I've learned to let go of my ego and flow with the experience. Not all psychedelics can be controlled and manipulated, especially Ergot alkaloids. I feel that you learn and accept much more of the experience when you let it "show you around."
 
that was a very good report, great detail used, and im glad you chose to share it with us. thats quite an experince you had from 4 seeds, and just goes to show any ppl out there who are gonna be trying them for the first time, or think they want to up their dose alot more than usual, that LSA cannot be taken so lightly.

peace.
 
noahfor said:
The thing is. I feel like I have to do it again, but I'm scared. I want to battle it, and come out victorious. I'm not violent at all. I don't want to hurt anyone, and I want to feel like I never could again.

I know exactly what you mean. And while I can't just say to you "do it, do it, do it" - I can't deny that you won't feel right again until you do so. :\
 
That was insane, was your girlfriend alright. I'd wait a while and try it again it's important to get back up on that horse. And I think that the prozac had something to do with it.
 
Thank you all for reading my story. My girlfriend is fine. I took five more seeds last night. Unfortunately they were from a different source and didn't do much of anything, but the sleep reminded me of my other trip, so I thought maybe last time happened because I fell asleep and had some sort of half asleep half awake ambulatory dream. Thanks again.
 
So I got back up on that horse last night, and flew around on it against a backdrop of rainbows, understnding and images of of history. Thanks for supporting me. It was great. I have a theory that if a person falls asleep on baby woodrose he or she might go crazy, or maybe not. Anyways this is kind of the end of my report. I feel enlightened. Thanks again.
 
That took a lot of guts, and I'm glad you were rewarded. When LSA works, it's just beautiful. But at the same time I can't help thinking this move was unwise.

These compounds can seriously mess with your head. If you've had emotional problems that require Prozac, I'd suggest extreme caution with LSA. In particular, lines like "I could have killed someone or myself" and "Now I'm afraid I'm schizophrenic" make me afraid for you.

Only you know if you can handle this stuff, and I wouldn't try to tell you what to do ... but for that same reason, I wish other people wouldn't weigh in with this "get back on the horse" crap. I think that's pretty irresponsible, especially after the difficult episode you went through.

Like I said, only you know the answer. Good luck. Be safe. ;)
 
Nice report...


I have one question though.. When you say you "took" the HBW seeds, did you just swallow them or prepare them in some sort of way?
 
I chewed them very well and swallowed. I actually did them again last night, and it was a very clear pure experience. Not too intense, but very intellectual. I felt like I was figuring everything out about how to live, and how to be human. The nausea doesn't bother me at all until the next day when I think about the seeds. I quit prozac in order to utilize psychedelics as a tool for anxiety and depression, and I feel that each trip with these seeds has moved me closer to happiness. Not just a mood to cover up the depression, but deep understanding, and child like awe at the beauty of things, which I believe is happiness. The first trip on these seeds was scariest, not because of the experience, but because I thought I would be unable to use these substances in the way I had intended. I don't really think I'm schizophrenic, just temporarily going insane when I wasn't expecting it scared me for a minute. This board has helped me alot.
 
I really apprieciate you posting your report. It's good to hear truthfully of the ups & downs, problems and benefits of 1st hand experiences with this substance.

I find it sad that today that unlike old indigenous/tribal societies we don't have the 1st hand training of shamans and elders of society with generations of experience with these substances to guide us... It's a shame.

I agree with this comment.
originally posted by Piper methysticumHowever, I can't say that I ever want to battle an experience. Ego loss is not something that can be ruled over. I tried to battle my very first psychedelic experience (one hit of very high quality LSD), and I lost. Since then, I've learned to let go of my ego and flow with the experience.

I think it fits more in my books than the "get back on the horse" way of thinking especially following my salvia extract experiences. I didn't always used to think this way though... It took a few powerful salvia extract experiences for me to realise this though. After having I guess what you'd call the complete ego loss experience (it was an out of body) and painting such a negative picture or rather blindingly truthful picture of my darkside, as salvia extract does I then became aware that I'd had the scarest expereince of my life. Depite being very shaken and experienceing what I feel was the edge of sanity, I considered, probably in a mad rush to regain my ego that I must try to conquer such an experience of intence fear. I decided to re-enter that world by taking salvia extract again. I took salvia extract again the next day. Again I was attacked by such an intence level of fear and this time even more confusion surrounding as to what had caused it and what my first expereince meant. I decided that this kind of experience (no matter how good my intentions were of of conquering my fear) needed not be repeated, at least not for a long while. I descided that experiences on this level I needed to sit back and let them explain themself and let life run its course. When I am able to to deal with such fears and issues that deep I'm sure I will be faced with them... As it so happens now a little over a year on from those Salvia experiences it has... I have yet not totally understood and dealt with the isses of that trip but I feel I almost have. Over the course of time I have understood the expereince with more and more clarity of its meaning. Strange, at the time it was such a vivid vision and yet its was meaning then was almost a total blur.

Personally from experiencing such an ego battering life, I believe that is why I generally find ego battering psychedellics so harsh. Meaningful but generally not enjoyable. I do enjoy the way I usually feel refreshed the next few days after taking them and I do enjoy the changes they help me make but I'm no masochist. These substances are not something I can handle too often. I think that until I have become a more secure person with less issues I will probably always be faced with such harsh introspection by these ego battering psychedellics and probably never reach the full potential of these tools that I'd so like to be able to use. No, personally I think this is one "horse" I will exercise caution before jumping back on too quickly.

On the other hand I find psychoactives that boost my confidence and self esteem to be not only very enjoyable but very insightful and profoundly meaningful as well.

Ekstasis-//7
 
Good report. i just want to comment that HBWR is a lot more powerful psychedelic than most people give it credit. I did HBWR exactly once. 14 seeds chew and then left between check and gum. I have never tripped like that. Took one hit off a joint over 24 hours later and damn I was tripping again. People have gotta respect this entheogen. I took it on a whim and boy did it give me a lesson about respect that I will never forget.

So again, good report. I just wanted to chime in.
 
These are definatley on my to do list after reading this report.

Where i live these tones of morning glory but it never seems to seed , weird?
 
8 is probably too many for the first time as I found HBWR is quite potent for a organic substance. 5-6 is enough really for a good time though I did 23 my first time and had quite a nightmarish experience too. Peace Out
 
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