Haven't posted in sometime

[Vomit fox]

Well I won't go as far to say I've relapsed but I have chipped here and there. And I knew ahead of time that it was gonna get worse jus because I was falling into old habits of lying where I was going etc. so I decided not even to chip. I know some people can chip and be fine, but I can't so I'm again without it for 3 days and since I didn't get back into heavy use my w/d are minimal. I wanted to post sooner but that shame
That comes with using. I'm determined to stay off for good not another taste

 

[amnesiaseizure]

Good for you. Chipping is something you need to know if you can do or not - in my case I think the answer is a pretty definite NO.

 

[Vomit fox]

Yeah, I was able to notice myself slipping back into old habits and said fuck that. I'm not tryna go back their again, back to simple and rational thoughts. No is always the answer to myself when it come to opies now, no more complex rules or acceptions, I think everyone begins to make when trying to regulate use.

 

[herbavore]

Hey, glad that you decided to come back and post. Each step you take, as long as you are being honest with yourself, is building psychological "muscle". You were very determined before and you now have another dose of self awareness to add to your determination. Good luck and keep us posted.

 

[maxalfie]

Well done Vomit Fox, you've done extremely well indeed mate.
So many of us addicts had chances to stop in the early days of our habits and didn't have the sense to stop before it was too late.
I can recall in my early days of using thinking that I am getting into this too much and I should stop now.
Obviously I never listened to that little voice in my head and here I am over 11 years down the road and I'm still an addict.
The worst thing I can recall is on the day of my wifes funeral that I still had to go out and score that morning so I wouldn't be ill for the funeral.
I hate myself for doing that to this day and doubt I will ever forgive myself for it.
In summary stop now mate or you will probably have a lifetime full of shit times and no proper friends.
All the best mate.

 

[Serotonin101]

I think i remember you posting in my "chipping after detoxing" thread some time ago. I myself know i can chip, but, and thats a big huge morbidly obese but, it would take too much effort that i wouldnt enjoy it. Ill chip on my death bed maybe, but i dont know. Dying sober would be a nice big "fuck you" to everyone who doubted me. >:-D

 

[RedLeader]

^ I am the same way. Sure, I could chip now, but it brings with it so much psychological pressure and discipline that it's not really worth it at the end of the day. The problem with chipping is that yes, you're only using once in a while, but you get thrown back into craving it and having to talk yourself out of it 24/7, aside from when you can use. Heroin takes control once again, and now it comes with even less euphoric rushes. It's just not worth it. The other problem is that you get exposed again to that lifestyle (those people, those dealers, that anxiety of scoring, etc) and it will trigger bad memories and give you a morbid sense of all of that darkness being your "destiny" or something. I'm not going to advocate drug use necessarily, but there are things out there that will give you just as much euphoria/escape, but aren't as addictive as heroin. Pick your battles.