I usually Blog the shit outta Bluelight but I haven't been posting lately.
I wish I had. I've been learning a lot about myself lately through a variety of experiences.
Some of these have been painful lessons but quite effective in delivering info about myself.
Some lessons have come from watching others.
Some from simply being still.
During these times I should have written about what I have learned about myself as well as how I have learned.
To be honest, I have introduced a couple of people I know in real life to BL and I'm concerned that they may take what I write personally or out of context.
I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
Another reason is that people that know my real life BL associates are manipulative, egotistical, hurtful mother fuckers who I consider 'enemies'. The less they know about me the less they can fuck with me.
These 'enemies' are a trial for me. One dude in particular has harmed someone close to me, harmed her mother and harmed her friends. I am TRYING HARD not to let my ego get in the way and play the role of some sort of 'administrator of justice'.
You see, this guy always has A LOT of dope at his house, A LOT of guns and, apparently, a lot of money. I am struggling with giving his address to some hardcore dope fiends I know who would LOVE to get their hands on the aforementioned. It would be an easy score for them, he would get terribly hurt and I would feel some sort of satisfaction.
Who the fuck do I think I am? Its not my place to play judge, jury and executioner. I'm trying to practice humility, patience, acceptance, compassion and faith concerning this.
IT IS NOT EASY. I truly want this dude to get what is coming to him but it really isn't up to me no matter how bad he deserves it. I need to have faith that life/the world/nature has its own way of correcting these things. I just wish I was a fly on the wall when it finally does.
I wish I had. I've been learning a lot about myself lately through a variety of experiences.
Some of these have been painful lessons but quite effective in delivering info about myself.
Some lessons have come from watching others.
Some from simply being still.
During these times I should have written about what I have learned about myself as well as how I have learned.
To be honest, I have introduced a couple of people I know in real life to BL and I'm concerned that they may take what I write personally or out of context.
I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
Another reason is that people that know my real life BL associates are manipulative, egotistical, hurtful mother fuckers who I consider 'enemies'. The less they know about me the less they can fuck with me.
These 'enemies' are a trial for me. One dude in particular has harmed someone close to me, harmed her mother and harmed her friends. I am TRYING HARD not to let my ego get in the way and play the role of some sort of 'administrator of justice'.
You see, this guy always has A LOT of dope at his house, A LOT of guns and, apparently, a lot of money. I am struggling with giving his address to some hardcore dope fiends I know who would LOVE to get their hands on the aforementioned. It would be an easy score for them, he would get terribly hurt and I would feel some sort of satisfaction.
Who the fuck do I think I am? Its not my place to play judge, jury and executioner. I'm trying to practice humility, patience, acceptance, compassion and faith concerning this.
IT IS NOT EASY. I truly want this dude to get what is coming to him but it really isn't up to me no matter how bad he deserves it. I need to have faith that life/the world/nature has its own way of correcting these things. I just wish I was a fly on the wall when it finally does.
It's great to hear that you're still doing okay though.
