• Psychedelic Drugs Welcome Guest
    View threads about
    Posting RulesBluelight Rules
    PD's Best Threads Index
    Social ThreadSupport Bluelight
    Psychedelic Beginner's FAQ
  • PD Moderators: Esperighanto | JackARoe |

have you experienced ego death?

F

flyCrow

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 8, 2013
Messages
76
Location
Australia
i have had experiences on psychedelics where i feel separate from my ego. but nothing that i would consider transformative. what was your ego death like? was it like a flash of enlightenment that changed you from the core. or more something that must be cultivated long term. from my experiences psychedelics havent given me any positive (or negative) long term effects. other then that they have given me a glimpse of something more. nothing that effects my experience of daily life though. is there anything i can do to bring on a real transformation? i havent done psychedelics alot of times. and when i do ive always been around people and havent had much space for real introspection. more then anything im just curious to know other peoples experiences.
 
To be honest, first time doing MDMA was more of a life changing experience for me than any experiences with psychedelics. I have only one psychedelic experience where I was close or experienced the ego death. I was just swimming in this universal soup, I could paint a new page of anything I could imagine. It was truly a phenomenal experience and there certainly was no "I" or "myself" present. But still I think i got more from MDMA. Althought the high dose LSD trip showed me something I could not think was possible.
 
Not yet,i plan on experiencing ego death very soon.I'm gonna combo lsd and dmt again,which in the past led me VERY close to kill my ego,but it was just one hit of LSD and tbph it was not of good quality,and the dmt was less than 40mg.But i divided my ego,and threw away some of those divisions.It's quite good.I mean,i see difference between me and other people who haven't experienced ego death,for example i don't care about stuff,i don't care about people being hurt emotionally or physically.Even if someone hurts me,i won't want something bad to happen to them.
 
^ DMT on top of LSD is far less likely to kill your ego than DMT on its own in my experience. The LSD externalises the DMT experience.
 
Excuse the double post. It seems that the edit function here is broken. At least on an iPhone.

Ego death is at least in part, illusionary. Last time it happened to me was on 60mg rectal 2c-b (I do not recommend that anyone takes this as dosage advice, I worked up to this dose incrementally over many months of careful titration). My friend asked me if I wanted a cup of tea. I told her "I can't answer that question because there's no 'I' to want". She pointed out that my sentence began with the word "I". If there's no "I" to want, why is there an "I" which is incapable of answering?
 
That statement in itself is trippy to think about, builder!
I'm curios to how you replied to your friend after pointing that out.


As for me II think I only came close to this once with salvia.
 
the website is not letting me reply directly. but yea. its like trying to hold water in the palm of my hand. always slipping away. when i want to... be the water. one thing i have learnt is that there's a difference between knowing something and experiencing it. i believe that there is no separation. behind a thin veil that is the material world we are all interconnected. i havent experienced this first hand though but glimpses give me hope that if i lose the filter of how i view myself and the world around me, i cant enter a state of "being". a state of pure experience
 
Ego softening often occurs on a gradual scale. Self-reflection and identification involve telling yourself what you are and what you are not. From this you compose a self-image. The self-image can be used as a point of view but there are also other ways to look at the world for example by observing and refraining from interpretation. There is not a single truth and the rest illusions just like there is not one true metaphysical model and the rest false.

If you declined answering a question you still interacted and though your ego was obviously softened I'm pretty sure there is a lot of ego-death territory beyond that where a person becomes unresponsive since there is temporarily an internal tabula rasa. Also while 2C-B can be very dissociative (which it doesn't often get credit for), I think different drugs can cause different forms of dissociation and IMO 2C-B doesn't tend to be as ruthless and complete at it. If the depersonalization was only partial but still disruptive this can very well cause confusing or paradoxical situations like builders'. But like I said: using that to argue that ego death is illusory doesn't really work, the ego can also be seen as a type of illusion - it is an image of yourself and many people completely confuse themselves with that image. But the map is not the terrain.
 
Ego death off of my first blast off DMT trip... holy shit

Completely connected to everything, at one. no definition of time. everything was infinite pure love. no boundarys. there was no me
 
maybe its just a matter of cultivating these experiences and not looking at it in terms of black and white. the ego serves a function. survival is no longer my primary concern though. i feel like theres something clinging to any experience and holding me back from complete immersion in the present. giving the people and things in my life a label.. my ego. im looking for a catalytic experience.
 
i want some of what coltdan said. i tried dmt whilst on lsd and still was aware of the people around me and they way i felt i should be
 
A lot of the DMT batches ive smoked didnt get me very far, visual field ripple and moving, heavy closed eye visuals, purple nodule things. dunno what was so special about the first few times but that batch absolutely rocketed me. scared the shit out of me, i was shocked when i came back, didnt think it was possible for a human being to experience something like that. im not religious but those experiences were something else. almost ancient and religious. it was fucking unbelieveable. i wrote a trip report here

http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/518914-First-DMT-Experience
 
I know there's those who will argue the technicalities of the term 'ego death' but for the sake of this thread, what the term implies and my own personal understanding and experience; Yes.

Breaking-through on N'N-DMT was the most profound, powerful and transformational experience i have ever had encountered, it had such a impact on my life that i see my life as pre and post-DMT. Because it literally caused a fundamental shift in my awareness, other psychedelics helped me scratch the surface but DMT threw me into the abyss. I can't really describe the sensation of the dissolution of self; imagine moving at the speed of light through a tunnel and your self-image is been stripped away at rapid speed and just before the last fragment is shown to be an illusion, you burst through into the infinity of time and space, and there's nothing but pure, unadulterated, raw, eternal YOU.

My god, the surface of such an experience can only ever be scratched by the limitations of language.. or as they say, "Unfortunately no one can be told what the matrix is, you have to see it for yourself".
 
I got shivers up my arm reading that. Nailed it spot on. It felt enlightening
 
It's nice to smoke DMT at the same time as someone else while both on MDMA. The idea is to get into a comfortable embrace in the seconds available before completely loosing it. Then the boundaries that make up 'self' completely go, leaving just a unity of being.

I like that kind of ego death.
 
They are.

I was so-so about MDMA until I combined it with DMT. MDMA doesn't affect the DMT trip much but lets it occur within a mega supportive environment. It also makes it much easier to let go of the ego and travel further without fear.

My trip buddy never understood the concept of ego death until smoking DMT on MDMA.
 
I've always been aware that I'm high on psychedelics no matter how heavy the dose so I've never believed in the theory of "ego-death". If you're aware that you are stoned then by definition your "ego" hasn't "died". I've taken doses high enough to stun a charging gorilla and I'm always perfectly aware that I'm tripping. As Hoffman said - the whole spiritual essence of psychedelics and the reason why they're so worthwhile is that you're able to consciously experience what's happening to you.

I don't like how tripping on psychedelics has become so associated with Learys bullshine about "death" and "rebirth". When I'm on psychedelics I've never felt more alive. Death is about as far away as it will ever be.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top