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Have you ever regretted the first moment you used MDMA?

B

bright_eyes*

Bluelighter
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Nov 29, 2011
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Orange, California
My first post here, but this is a question I have been wanting to hear some other perspectives on for a while now...

So we all know after the first time you try MDMA, if you are lucky enough to get clean pills, you have a fantastic roll and you go through the "honeymoon" phase where it is all you can think about and you think it is the best thing that has been invented since sliced bread.

I have rolled quite a lot since an event in Vegas in June, that being my first time and I fell in love.

I still roll often, but dance (I'm a dance major) 4-6 hours a day, usually do yoga every morning at 6 am and work out at the gym with a trainer so I think I have a pretty healthy lifestyle.

SO MY QUESTION IS...

Are any of you still trapped in the cycle of event after event coming and feeling the need to roll to just feel the pure bliss, but then feel like the new perspective or opinions about life, society, humanity...any other deep topic, have almost become too much? I see people complaining about who they want to take to their sorority formal and I think...are they ignorant or am I just missing out on the simplicity of life due to this new found drug-enhanced perspective.

I'm not sure if any of that made sense, but if you kind of understand where I am going with this I would love some feed back :)
 
i dont think i know anyone who has regretted doing MDMA. i understand what you mean about not being able to enjoy the simple things but i think thats because MDMA has already taught us to appreciate them :\ i think we're just not as amazed because we've already gotten used to how special the little things are.
 
Meh, not really, but then again MDMA doesn't give me a new perspective on life or anything deep. It gives me alot of love for other people and makes me feel REALLY good and then takes it away again.
Psychedelics like shrooms and acid gave me the perspective you talk about. I found out that the "drug-enhanced perspective" wasn't doing me any good, so I found a good balance between deep thinking and not giving a fuck :)
 
I really feel ya. I don't really regret taking it to begin with though, I regret overdoing it for about 3 years. Its much better to keep those SUPER enhanced E moments very sparse and special. Hard to do when there is SO many great things to do and all yer friends are doing it!! Ugh!!! Luckily the things I am into doing arent really raves so there are all kinds of headstates at the events, even lots of sober peeps, so for that I am thankful. I do understand how it gets, and if you go out without the E it can feel boring a bit. Sad thing is, human nature just wants to run with it sometimes, until your wheel backs up on you and the negatives about the drug outweigh the positives. Psychedelics are way different and I have learned that I enjoy my nights on Shrooms or L in a more natural way than using E. I find that I remember everything more, and geez I dont have to drink so much water! The come down is actually FUN on psychedelics. So the E novelty wears off eventually. I still really enjoy it but have learned to respect it. I am glad I did all I did, I just wish I didnt let it take over there for a few years. If you dont give yourself recovery time you live in an E fog constantly. Blech!!! not worth it! But I'll get over it and "heal", and the mojo for life and just being takes over if you let it.
 
FUCKING GREAT QUESTION. IN all honsesty...yes, i do. Just because it was the first substance after cannabis i tried, and i got addicted to it (mentally obviously) and rolled for like 5 days like an IDIOT cause i didn't even know what MDMA fucking was. IT fried my brain and killed the magic. MDMA is an amazing drug though i just fucked it up by being stupid.
 
I never used it more than once a month and I am inclined to say I regret getting into it somewhat, you just can't ever see what the other side would be like. You'll meet few people on the forum that answer yes, but there are plenty of people out there who would say otherwise.
 
no i dont regret trying it, i was never an etard though
i never found LETS ROLL RANDOMLY FOR NO REASON to be that fun anyway, thats what speed is for ;)
 
I don't regret any of the experiences i've had. . . and I've had LOTS!!

I've gone overboard. When I was younger I (even though I thoroughly educated myself) went overboard. Since then I've gotten older. Even still I've had some profound experiences, both "enhanced" and not. The trick, I've found is moderation in all things.

I truly believe that drugs (MDMA in particular and LSD as a close second) have lead me to a truly deeper appreciation for life. I have written several things to this end. (perhaps i'll find a way to post them here on BL) Ultimately, however, I feel that my past experiences (and future hopefully) have only served to enhance my "regular" (read sober) appreciation for life. Let me try to explain a bit. See when I was younger my drug experimentation was tied to events and certain upcoming happenings. These might have been shows or parties or something similar. As I got older however I began to experience these things separate from the "goings on" of the scene. This means that I began to appreciate these experiences with certain people and groups rather than with certain activities or events. This is important as it lead to a revelation. I started to understand that these experiences and substances started to lend a quality to my life as a whole fully separate from parties and events. This began my reevaluation of the "spiritual" (for lack of a better term) nature of some of these substances and experiences.

I plan on this type of experience being a part of my life forever more. You're not missing out on the simplicity, you've simply found the "next level" as many of the rest of us have. There is an added layer of beauty and bliss that people like you and I have found that countless others remain ignorant of.

We can experience that 150% of life with responsible use of certain substances during certain times while others are restricted to their own lives and restrictions that they allow society to put on them. . .

I hope THIS made sense to you. :)
I hope you find your equilibrium in life and enjoy your experiences to the max!
 
Not at all, but I've never had a problem with doing more than I want to or should (twice this year)
 
I've overdone it over summer but still don't regret a thing. I first took MDMA when I was 16, 4 years ago nearly, and certainly feel it has impacted my life for the better.
 
I neither regret my first time or am I still 'stuck' in the cycle of event after event (have been before though). Even when I was going to event after event the sober day to day life was never too much for me and I actually 'treasure' the new perspective that MDMA gave me.
 
Ecstacy (mdma)
Was the first drug i tried, (Apart from alcohol)

Only thing i can say is, i wish i didnt drink that night,
My first time was my weakest time on mdma!
 
I do and I don't. That euphoria I craved day after day and I burnt my serotonin pumps after eating rolls and Molly for a good month straight. After that, rolling would leave me in a deep depression. The only euphoria that could keep me going without the depression came from opiates/opioids. Mainly iv heroin. That led me down a road I still have not recovered from. Overall no I don't regret it because it brought my friends and I closer together. But ultimately it opened me up to experiment with other more addictive drugs which I wish I didn't try.
 
Sorry to hear about your journey - it seems a huge leap from MDMA to IV heroin (not something I've heard much about). Was there other factors involved? Were you partying or using MDMA and going around your daily routine (or trying).

Good luck with your recovery
 
Definately no regrets, it showed me what I need to do to make the most of my life. If I could do it all over again, I wouldn't have used it so much at first though, because then it could still be a semi-regular part of my life. I went overboard, and now I can only use it a couple times per year. It hasn't done shit to me though, my body and mind have never been better, and I'm certainly not addicted to it. I rarely think about rolling, but it has totally become a part of who I am.

Regret isn't the nicest concept, but it's a pretty accurate description concerning the way I feel about my chronic marijuana use though. So long as I can quit that shit, I will have no regrets, but I just "relapsed" after being off it for 3 months and smoked a quarter pound in a month. MDMA has shown me the light, but that fucking dope makes it impossible for me to implement my new way of thinking into my life. FUCK WEED
 
I know other regular weed smokers who changed this way too. The open and free state of mind which Mdma is a gateway to and which I really think is significant in terms of making the most of your life seems to be incompatible with chronic cannabis use for many.

My first time, I snorted some crystal Mdma and headed to the campus bar on a Wednesday, which plays some pretty epic techno on said night. Instead of my usual shy, burnt-out-from-smoking-weed-all-day self, I was on top of the world. I was the center of the dance floor, in love with everyone, dancing so hard and just BLOWN AWAY, girls would say shit like "heyyyy I like this guy!" or "you seem like such a chill guy how do you NOT have a girlfriend?" and when I heard that, I knew right away why I didn't have one... i was a timid, sedated, paranoid fiend of the dope. I never thought about pot like that before, but rolling made me realize what a bitch I had become because of it. Anyways, come Friday I was back on the dance floor lol.
 
Hmm.. such a good question haha. I definitely don't regret my first time doing MDMA. It was an amazingly healing, life changing experience for me. For me, MDMA doesn't generally give me profound perspective shifts or anything but it definitely has taken down so many mental barriers and allowed me to talk about and express things I never could even get myself to acknowledge before. It's also been really healing in a lot of my relationships.

Psychedelics definitely give me immense perspective shifts and I've had a lot of revelations about myself, the world and humanity and even though sometimes that awareness can be painful and it feels like it might be easier to live in an ignorant bliss, I still wouldn't change it. Ignorance is only bliss for so long. I've always been a pretty aware person but psychedelics have shifted my perspective on so many things and I personally wouldn't take any of that back for anything... but I do understand where you're coming from...
 
There are times/nights where taking MDMA was a bad idea...yet the first time for me was an amazing experience that opened my eyes to the beauty of music and how amazing a night can be. I was with my closest mates at a rave when I first tried it and 2 of us were inexperienced so they watched over us a little more.

I still felt totally comfortable and happy the whole night and trusted that if anything did do wrong, my friends would be there (which happened once at another time) and I believe that if you are in an environment that you are comfortable with with friends that you trust...the first experience on MDMA will be one you look back on and are glad you did.
 
Trying E was the best thing that ever happened to me psychologically speaking.. Completely opened my eyes and my mind, and changed me from a closed minded, TV obsessed, media enslaved person to someone who actually experiences the world, nature and real people. The real world is important to me now and i wouldnt have become this person without it. I think that everyone in the world should drop a pill at the same time and see what happens. :) PLUR
 
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