have we damaged are brains or is this all a anxiety/stress issue?

[dpd_mnk92]

There was a pretty well-constructed study that failed to show cognitive decline in (pure) MDMA users. That said, poor memory may be related to depression or anxiety, which in turn may be related to the serotonin system. The many parts of your brain interact in complex ways, often with unpredictable results.

It is reassuring to hear that there are some studies out there suggesting i may one day become my old self again. Do you remember if this study demonstrated that no cognitive decline occurred at any point after consumption or that cognitive deficits were temporary, returning to pre-MD levels after a period of abstinence? The fact that I was a major pot-head up until my problems and that the nail in the coffin for me was an obscene binge can't have helped my cause.

Agree that the results have been unpredictable. Seems the large majority of MDMA abusers suffer only from psychological symptoms, perhaps with some mild cognitive affects. With me, the cognitive effects are the most pronounced. Essay writing is simply impossible. Even simple every day things like remembering names, directional sense, knowing where I've put things, completing sentences, understanding what people are telling me have become difficult. It's almost like English is a foreign language in some ways - when I hear a sentence I'll often have trouble understanding it as a whole, having to think through it word by word.Put me in a social situation (along with my persisting anxiety), and it becomes painfully obvious how poorly i'm functioning as a human being. With that said, I've made some minor improvements and it is apparantly early days in the long-term come down recovery phase.. just have to hope that it mostly clears up in time with good diet, exercise, avoiding the ganj (if possible)

 

[cope]

Agree that the results have been unpredictable. Seems the large majority of MDMA abusers suffer only from psychological symptoms, perhaps with some mild cognitive affects. With me, the cognitive effects are the most pronounced. Essay writing is simply impossible. Even simple every day things like remembering names, directional sense, knowing where I've put things, completing sentences, understanding what people are telling me have become difficult. It's almost like English is a foreign language in some ways - when I hear a sentence I'll often have trouble understanding it as a whole, having to think through it word by word.Put me in a social situation (along with my persisting anxiety), and it becomes painfully obvious how poorly i'm functioning as a human being. With that said, I've made some minor improvements and it is apparantly early days in the long-term come down recovery phase.. just have to hope that it mostly clears up in time with good diet, exercise, avoiding the ganj (if possible)

... reading that is almost a 1:1 copy of the list of my symptoms i had from MDMA abuse.

9 months have passed since it began ... i am now at 95% in recovery, almost non noticeable. i am convinced you will get there too, it just takes a lot of time.

best of luck !

 

[TooMush1]

My own personal view on MDMA is pretty much the same with most recreational drugs - if you take too much, too regular eventually you will pay for it.

I stopped taking it just under a year ago. I had been taking it on and off for over 20 years. I had plenty of gaps in that time where i didn't take it and also a couple of years where I was at it every weekend.

In recent years it was as regular as once a month (depending on what I could lay my hands on) with the doses ever increasing - and that is the danger. Anyway I am now having problems with my ticker and that was all triggered after a particular messy session with MDMA. Palpitations is now part of my life for the immediate future and may remain permanent and get worse. They can last a while and can be quite draining especially at night when you want to sleep. Everyone has a different make up and whilst some have MDMA only once in their lives and never take it again - plenty could go through life without any problems whatsoever and still take it regular. There are risks and i guess like with smoking or drinking if you abuse it then eventually you will more then likely pay the price.

There is no doubt it is a great buzz and I really miss it but I know I was increasing doses too much and and now I am paying for it.

 

[dpd_mnk92]

... reading that is almost a 1:1 copy of the list of my symptoms i had from MDMA abuse.

9 months have passed since it began ... i am now at 95% in recovery, almost non noticeable. i am convinced you will get there too, it just takes a lot of time.

best of luck !

Hi cope - good to hear from you again. it's very comforting to hear a successful recovery story from someone with a similar list of symptoms. Congrats on your speedy recovery and thanks for continuing to encourage others who have also gotten themselves in this mess! Good luck on that last 5% - based on your current rate of recovery, it should be just around the corner

 

[Exstazy]

Somewhere in your brain "you" are, or maybe in the quantum world of possibilities and realities, my point is - life is what you make it.
If you think about shit, shit consumes you.. trust me, thoughts can cause tinnitus.. A good mindstate, a positivie view will make it easier. Try to RELAX.

 

[MazDan]

Somewhere in your brain "you" are, or maybe in the quantum world of possibilities and realities, my point is - life is what you make it.
If you think about shit, shit consumes you.. trust me, thoughts can cause tinnitus.. A good mindstate, a positivie view will make it easier. Try to RELAX.

Well summed up.

I would also suggest that for those who feel they are being damaged by there use of mdma, that they make a determined effort to find something else to consume there mind such as exercise or learning how to build a robot or whatever takes your fancy and make a conscious effort to simply get the concept of mdma problems out of your head.
Im not suggesting the thoughts are not real............just offerring an idea of how to readjust your brain.
Its an amazing part of the human body and you have the power to re program it.
As suggested above, a positive mindset can and will make a huge difference.

 

[Dark Side]

You know i think with some of the people it really is in there heads, when i was 19 i got on and off chest pains and my left arm felt numb i thought OH SHIT ive got a heart problem. It wasnt though it was stress i also a few anxiety attacks which gave me Derealization for a few weeks.

Bottom line is this, Try not to over worry because it will manifest itself into something physical.

 

[Dawglaw]

Derealization is the worst feeling in the world. It can be absolutely debilitating, almost like being held prisoner in your mind. Feeling so dissassocated 24/7 can destroy your psychological well being. I tried to logically deal with it but reading about dp/dr online terrified me and drove hypochondria, which in turn made the anxiety worse.

Put that with the blurry vision caused by the anxiety, it was a miserable experience.

To anyone who is experiencing what I went through, keep your chin up, it eventually goes away. There are a lot of desperate people that post terrifying horror stories on the internet but IMO they are mostly people with comorbid psychological problems that are extremely pessimistic and refuse to take the steps they need to heal themselves.

 

[projump2001]

It would be great if it turned out that I was just being a hypochondriac all along, and that i have simply been over thinking my way into this state. However, at least in my particular case, the obvious cognitive deficits that coincided with heavy MD use make it seem like some serious, irreversible damage has been done. abstract thinking and short-term memory have completely gone out the window and it doesn't look like they'll fully return based on the rate of recovery (It's been around 6 weeks). Just writing this message has taken me around 10 times as long as it would have a few months ago. Ridiculous stuff..

i noticed that with video games i have a tuff time remembering what all the keys do. Games like Skyrim are overwhelming to me. But when i was playing the older game oblivion years ago, i found it to be less complicated. could it be that my short term memory and cognitive ability was messed up? i dont know.