first i'd just like to state that i do ketamine fairly infrequently. maybe once every few months so my problem is probably not down to tolerance.
anyway. recently, in the past two weeks when i have been doing ketamine and 'going for the hole' my k-holes seem to not be as mind blowing as usual. i mean some wild shit happens, but the feelings not there. no matter how much i do (i've attempted up to 300mg) i can never get into a khole where i truely lose my body (although body morphing and moulding happens), sense of self, knowledge of when and who i am.
when i used to khole everything starts to make less and less sense until the world just isnt' the world anymore and it just dissolves, my body becomes noexistant and i'm ripped mercilessly through time and space, occasionally catching a glimpse of what may be the room i'm in and everything i ever knew or felt just becomes non-existant and i dont know who, where or what i am.
but now, when i k-hole (if you can call it that) i know i'm still me and i get most of the visual sensation and some of the physical but my mind remains always in tact and observing, dissatisfied at the lack of intensity. i know this is not because my ketamine has lowered in quality because on lower doses, the same amount will have effects on me as it has in the past.
oh another point to note is that i took a break from ketamine for a few months. just before i started doing it again about two weeks ago, i did a fair amount of methoxetamine. this seemed to have the ability to throw me into the most terrifying, mind batteringly intense holes i've ever had. when i resumed use of ketamine, my khole problem started. could there be a cross tolerance? does k tolerance just not go away and just build no matter how infrequently you take it? or is my mind just conditioning itself to kholes now so i know how to handle it better. (i assume it is not the last one because the holes i used to have were so unbridled and intense, i doubt it can just be a ''i'm not that affected by it anymore'')
anyway. recently, in the past two weeks when i have been doing ketamine and 'going for the hole' my k-holes seem to not be as mind blowing as usual. i mean some wild shit happens, but the feelings not there. no matter how much i do (i've attempted up to 300mg) i can never get into a khole where i truely lose my body (although body morphing and moulding happens), sense of self, knowledge of when and who i am.
when i used to khole everything starts to make less and less sense until the world just isnt' the world anymore and it just dissolves, my body becomes noexistant and i'm ripped mercilessly through time and space, occasionally catching a glimpse of what may be the room i'm in and everything i ever knew or felt just becomes non-existant and i dont know who, where or what i am.
but now, when i k-hole (if you can call it that) i know i'm still me and i get most of the visual sensation and some of the physical but my mind remains always in tact and observing, dissatisfied at the lack of intensity. i know this is not because my ketamine has lowered in quality because on lower doses, the same amount will have effects on me as it has in the past.
oh another point to note is that i took a break from ketamine for a few months. just before i started doing it again about two weeks ago, i did a fair amount of methoxetamine. this seemed to have the ability to throw me into the most terrifying, mind batteringly intense holes i've ever had. when i resumed use of ketamine, my khole problem started. could there be a cross tolerance? does k tolerance just not go away and just build no matter how infrequently you take it? or is my mind just conditioning itself to kholes now so i know how to handle it better. (i assume it is not the last one because the holes i used to have were so unbridled and intense, i doubt it can just be a ''i'm not that affected by it anymore'')
