Have I fried my brain into permenant psychosis?

[SpunkySkunk347]

Hello. For about the past 2 months I have started getting panic attacks. I never had panic attacks before in my life. I think that 2 very rough drug experiences may be the cause of my panic attacks. The first experience was with 300mg of DXM, alcohol, and pot. The other was when I overdosed on caffeine. They were both very traumatic experiences.
I had these experiences maybe a week before I started getting panic attacks.

Now I always feel like I'm on drugs even when I'm not. I get these pleasurable waves throughout my chest and neck and it feels like I'm on drugs even though I'm not. I get horrible panic attacks almost every day of the week. And sometimes all my thoughts seem out of order and I feel like I'm going insane.

About half a month ago I started taking zoloft for depression and anxiety which I have recently discontinued using because it made my anxiety worse.

I get constant fears that I might have overdosed on something accidentally, like "maybe someone poisoned my food" and other unrealistic thoughts. Often times these fears trigger panic attacks.

Even just thinking about a panic attack can bring one on.

During a panic attack my heart rate increases, sometimes my neck feels tight and my jaw feels tight, and my chest feels like I'm wearing a 10,000kg vest. In very serious panic attacks I get chills throughout my body and I think I'm dieng.

This is really ruining my life. The panic attacks can last 2 hours or longer.
I am currently visiting a doctor and a therapist but they havent really gone through any diagnostics and just assume I have a panic disorder.

So do you guys think I just have a panic disorder, or do you think its something else?

 

[John Lewis]

It sounds like panic disorder. Although I find the 'pleasurable waves' part unusual. One of the classic symptoms many people with anxiety and panic suffer from is the disbelief that all they have is an anxiety or panic disorder.

I would say the high likelyhood is that you haven't 'fried' your brain. I suffer from an anxiety disorder, and I too had (and still do have to some degree) endless worry that I had somehow done some permanent damage to my brain from drugs. After years of thinking this, I have come to the conclussion that I most likely have not, and that my anxiety disorder is psychological.

I dare say all the alcohol and drugs I have taken has had it's toll on my mind and body, but I think the damage can be overhyped, and in reality this damage is probably not going to be significant. Of course if you abuse anything too much then there is a risk you shall do major damage. However, I'd say cases of this are few and far between.

This is mostly my opinion, but backed up with a little bit of fact from the knowledge I have gained over the last few years. There's nothing like an anxious mind to dedicate hundreds, and probably thousands, of hours into researching its fears. It's a terrifying thought that these horrendous sensations are permanent because they are the result of brain damage, and sadly one that has plagued me greatly. The thing is, it is an incredibly defeatist and demorolising attitude that may prevent you recovering.

Try to let go of any fears that you have fried you brain, or have been poisened. Logically you probably know these fears to be irrational, and that you can recover. It's not easy, but I think it is important.

John.

 

[[nl]mdma]

Dear Spunky,

I can assure you that you haven't 'fried' your brain. What you're describing sounds nothing like a psychosis, but very much like panic disorder.

I've never been really that much into the whole drug scene, but 1,5 year ago, I had a nasty panic attack after eating hash brownies. I, like you, had the feeling of tightness/unable to breath, increased heart rate, pain in my jaw, etc, etc.

For me, it took me a few weeks to get over the worst part, but it took me far longer to completely get over it.

Having the panic attack did mean some changes in my life: I cut back a lot (completely for a while) on my marihuana usage, I stopped drinking coffee for some time and I had to get in a more regular day/night cycle.

While at first, I had the same thoughts as you when the panic came back ('omg, I've f*'d myself up permanently'), but after a while this changed to 'oh well, if I have to die now, why not, won't be able to stop it anyway'. That made me more relaxed.

As for you, if you stop drugs & alcohol & caffein (at least for a while), you WILL get a lot better, but it may take a few months. You may or may not need some psychological counselling (I didn't), but this will probably only fasten the outcome. Completely getting over it may take more than a year, though.

Seriously mate, being a med student (intern, actually), I completely researched this stuff when it happened to me.

 

[Zodiaccupuncture]

dude u havent even done real drugs. u havent fried your brain.

 

[Hewhomustnotbenamed]

You haven't fried your brain. Or if you have, it probably wasn't the drugs. A low dose DXM trip and a caffeine overdose are nothing to worry about.

What I would worry about, if you have to worry about something, is that I'm worrying so much about having fried my brain from two relatively insignificant (in the grand scheme of things) drug experiences. Sound to me like the sign of some problems with anxiety, but not psychosis. If you think you're psychotic, you're probably not...

I can relate to a lot of what you describe, and it sounds as though your mind is in a similar place to mine, and to the minds of many. Anxiety is a fact of life in the world we have chosen to create. I don't have panic attacks, but I have a friend who does. He is prescribed ativan (AKA lorazepam), which he says is quite effective, and which does not have much recreational value and therefor doesn't encourage abuse.

I'd hesitate to characterize what you have as a panic disorder, as that seems to be too binary a way of looking at things. If you have a disorder, than you begin to think that there is something fundamentally wrong with you that you have to take drugs to fix. Rather, it might be more helpful to think of it as a tendency towards, or predisposition to anxiety or panic.

If I were you, I'd continue to look for help, but I'd lean more towards a therapist and less towards a MD. Any prescription you get will only cover up the symptoms, but will not get to there root. On the other hand, talking to a therapist will help you get at the underlying issues that may be the cause of your anxiety.

Another helpful thing, and something that I have found helpful, would be to try out yoga, meditation, or some such. Both these things help to center you, and meditation in particular will help you learn to not get to attached to your thoughts and emotions, and thus avoid panic. Your thoughts are like the weather, constantly changing, and though you may feel now as though the end of the world is imminent, you will likely feel entirely different in an hour.

Also, if you're still using drugs, it might be a good idea to take a break. I find that pot a caffeine in particular are bad for anxiety.

Just my thoughts. Sorry for the ridiculous length of this post.

 

[SpunkySkunk347]

dude u havent even done real drugs. u havent fried your brain.

thats a pretty ignorant statement
im not dicksizing but ive had my fair share of lsd, x, shrooms, opiates, amps, etc
a dxm trip and a caffeine overdose however are the only times ive had a "bad" experience.
Drugs dont have to be "strong" in order to give you a bad experience

edit: well i wouldnt say they are the only times ive had a bad experience but they were definitely the worst experiences ive ever had

 

[Ximot]

dude u havent even done real drugs. u havent fried your brain.

that really is preposterous.

I have taken probably over 50 different drugs,perhaps a hundred - stimulants,empathogens, downers, psychedelics.

And the one time I did DXM I's also had a couple of beers and nicotine... even though it was only 100mg DXm I felt terrible and it took me a while to recover.

High-dose caffeine can also be very anxiety-inducing...

Spunky, try relaxing herbs such as hops or valerian or passiflora or perhaps melissa to see if it helps any.And stay away from all stimulants. Partly your problems might stem from psychological trauma due to those experiences, and partly it may be neurotransmitter deregulation, which can take time to balance itself out but will eventually. Adrenal gland overstimulation, and then they'll release adrenaline whenever you don't want it and you're in constant state of fright...been there!

Learn to use your breathing to ward off those feelings.

It WILL get better and may even go away completely. Be patient.

 

[swilow]

I have been diagnosed, about 6 months ago with panic disorder with agoraphobia/claustrophobia- trust me, if you get help it does get better.

From a random site about panic attacks- but very accurate

Remember this when it happens, and check the rest of the site. Your not going crazy

First of all, the word 'symptoms' is used by doctors to describe the effects of illness... ANXIETY IS NOT AN ILLNESS... it's a behavioural condition. However, anxiety does produce some pretty scary SENSATIONS.

I tell you this because I need you to understand that all the feelings, thoughts and sensations you experience are products of the anxious nerve signals your brain produces, not the signs of illness! Symptoms of panic attacks are unpleasant to say the least BUT they are completely normal and harmless (if inappropriate).

For ease, I will, however, carry on using the word symptom, to describe these sensations.

Not everyone experiences the same panic attack symptoms; we are all different biologically and therefore react differently to each other as a response to the same or similar stimuli.

The following list identifies the most common symptoms of panic attacks. Experiencing four or less of these panic attack symptoms identifies what is called a limited symptom attack.

Common symptoms of panic attacks
Rapid heart beat, pounding heart or palpitations
Sweating
Shaking visibly or inside
Choking sensations or lump in throat
Smothering or shortness of breath sensations
Chest pain or discomfort
Nausea, bloating, indigestion or abdominal discomfort
Dizziness or unsteadiness
Feeling light-headed
Derealisation (feeling unreal or dreamy)
Depersonalisation (feeling outside yourself or like you don't exist)
Fear of losing control or going crazy
Paresthesias (numbness or tingling sensations) in face, extremities or body
Chills or hot flushes
Skin losing colour
Blushing or skin blotches
Urgently needing to urinate or defecate
Experiencing different or more panic attack symptoms than are listed above does not mean that your condition is worse or different, or that you are suffering from another un-diagnosed condition. Diagnosis of anxiety disorders is very accurate so chances are you ARE suffering from an anxiety disorder. Some people have anxiety disorder but never suffer from panic attack symptoms.

 

[LVX]

Pax Vobiscum

Not enough here to even approach diagnostic work... it's very possible though.

There are a lot of things you can do to help at least treat your symptoms:

Meditation helps.

Drinking Kava-Kava is an excellent anxiolytic, I personally prefer it over any benzo. Never consume it in addition to a benzo if you do happen to try it.

Plus there are a plethora of other natural herbs w/ qualities beneficial to your situation: 5-HTP, SAM (Sam-E, SAMe, etc.), St. Johns Wort, etc.

Reiterating Ximot's post here, but...

Drop the caffiene and other stims where available.

Practice Pranayama when you feel anxious, stressed, or when you feel a panic attack coming on. The four-fold breathe is an invaluable technique:

"Relax and exhale to the count of four. Hold the breath out for a count of four. Inhale to the count of four. Hold the breath in for the count of four. Repeat the cycle and continue for at least 3 minutes. Count at an even speed that is comfortable to your breathing. It may take a few days of practice till you find a pace that suits your body and obtains the desired result..."
- From Open Source Order of the Golden Dawn


LVX
-N.

 

[ChemicalSmiles]

dude u havent even done real drugs. u havent fried your brain.

You are fucking ignorant.

 

[blase deviant]

DXM did the same thing to me, but then I continued taking DXM to the point where I almost became a non-caring zombie, which solved the panic attacks but caused other problems (like with motivation and grades). This was years ago, before I got put on benzos.

 

[arch-enemy]

Same thing happend to me spunky, it was from taking speed tho.
i started coming up with insane sounding ideas as to why i was having panic attacks and whatnot...
i was terrorfied to take anything the dr prescribed me as i thought it would kill me, even valium.
finaly when i went to a psychologist diagnosed me with a general anxiety disorder.
he said it was probably an underlying mental condition i had and the speed provoked it to come out.
he then put me on zoloft i was worried the 1st weeks as he said it will make my panic worse but it seemed to start working, then i went to an anxiety group
and learnt alot about anxiety and how to control it, took me a very long time to get over it all and ive got it undercontrol now havent had a panic attack in about a year, but im still left with slight social anxietys and depression from it all wich im almost over too.

Its a horrible thing to experience, but you will get over it eventually, it just takes time.

good luck