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Have I damaged a brain receptor?

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Dizmal

Dizmal

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 9, 2011
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95
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my head
Hello, I am quite new here and I apoligise in advanced if this is the wrong forum, I mean it too!!! I still figure you guys are probably the most clued on cats out there anywho :P

I'll start with a little about myself, been smoking pot for 8 years almost and drinking a few times a week, done pills(mostly rc based ones) for about 2 years 1-2 times and week, had some great shroom seasons and LSD trips along the way also. Also had plenty of good rolls with molly, tried a variety of stims and rc's, mostly more posistive than negative experiences. I wont go 100% into my drug history but my problem mainly arised after I started smoking synthetic cannabinoids.

I used to smoke blends no problem and enjoy them, but then I got 15g of JWH-018 and AM-2201 and started to make my own blends. I smoked ALOT of it straight also(something I really regret now). Luckily I done my best to avoid combustion and only vapourized when I had no damania around to make blends, using tin foil or glass. When I down to my last say 50mg of powder(018) I was dabbling in light opoids aswell, I had taken some 300mg DHC and proceeded to vape my last 50mg, unfortunatley I had no tolerence at the time as it had been a few days. I experienced my first panic attack, heart racing, couldn't stop moving and jittering ect, I was freaked out as hell and up all night fearing for my life.. I eventually slept at 5am and thought the worst was over, but my issues had just begun.

I started to get these attacks everytime I smoked weed or a blend, then I begun to have them normally without any drugs. Feeling disconnected or out of my body mainly, would freak me out, would get light headed, touch, sight, sound, breathinng were distorted. Dissassociation was the best word for it. My doc told me I had cannabis inducted anxiety disorder and told me to quit all drugs(go figure). So I have gave up weed for a month, still drinking alot though, and things were fine! After realising the FEAR of getting these is what was making me hypersentive to my senses and causing my brain to react and make things worse I conquered the panic attacks. I started smoking occasionally again in small amounts and that was sweet, but then stimulants came along!

I started doing meth and speed while drinking, I wouldn't panic or freak out, but my LEGS would never stay still, ever! The more I relax, the more jittery I get, constantly standing up, moving around, drinking water, pissing, cant sit still, grr everyone gets really annoyed, even worse if I did have a tiny bit of weed I would have a full blown panic attack, so I learn't to avoid weed. Now for some reason weed stimulates me by itself, it gives me the exact same symptons as stimulants do. The more i try sit back and relax the more I cant stop my legs jittering, or wanting to stand up and go outside or drink water. I dont feel anxious because to be honest I dont feel anything anymore, even when I'm on mdma or lsd I just get chatty and enthuisiastic, see the vivid colours and beauty but dont feel anything for it. I haven't really felt happy or sad or angry or depressed or jealous or joyfull in a long time, maybe 4 months now. Im just constantly numb!!! It even caused my gf of 2 years to left me because I couldn't communicate love in the way I used to. Things had been bad between us for a long time though.

But don't get me wrong, I am perfectly functional, I can socialise, joke around, go about my daily life just fine for the most part and people think nothing, only the friends who I dabble with know Im weirdo on drugs, but they just laugh or tell me to relax. Why I am like this now when I used to be perfectly fine before that episode baffels me.

So I guess the real questions are, why do I get the uncontrollable jitters on stimulants and weed? Why dont I feel emotions anymore?

Sorry for the rant/ I am considering giving up all substances, I wanna feel again, and I dont want my jitters anymore, even if I do have to give up drugs all together.
 
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Sorry about the above post, I was in a rush and flustered when I wrote it. I undertstand if no-one will reply as I'm just a whee lil greenlighter. And if you feel this is the wrong forum mods please move it to the appropriate section and I will not be so haste to make a another thread in the future without reading more guidelines first.

I am considering I do have a anxiety disorder but just don't know it due to my numb state. The reason for the first episode seems very clear to me. It is to my understanding opiates block the cb1 receptors, as the substance I had had was a cb1 specific full agonist I probably done some damage, as it was a large dose of both with little tolerence. I herd cannabinoids can also damage the GABA receptors over time? Which could explain why alcohol calms me more then anything, but I don't know if GABA type receptors have anything to do with emotions or movement.

Another possibility I thought of was Acetylcholine receptor damage as I am a long term ciggerette smoker also, could this cause some damage in combination with long term polysubstance use? I hear these neurotransmitter have a very broad range of effect and are associated with consciousness, attention, memory, wakefulness and muscle activation.

Or maybe my serotonin receptors have become overly sensative due to damage producing anxiety when stimulated?

Could I have a unbalanced dopamine system?
 
some long time ago i got rid of strong panik attacks by taking tryptophan (or 5htp), passion-flower (or kava), methyl-cobalamin (5mg), b6, zink, n-acetylcystein, sports and total abstinence of all psychoactive substances (including nicotin and alcohol). it took 6 months and then it was over.
 
This sounds like more of a psychological than an obviously chemical issue. The best you can do is stop taking the drugs that cause it and try to deal with the underlying anxiety.
 
doing loads of amphetamine/meth can leave you emotionless and numb after a while. same with mdma. you've been doing both

knock the drugs on the head

you seem perfectly functional. i used to find i was quite emotional when i was a daily weed smoker and when i quit realised i'm not a sensitive emotional sort of person at all. if thing were shit with your girl sounds like the writing was on ze wall anyhoo.

how often are you drinking? drinking every day makes you numb...
 
Thanks for your replies, now I only smoke weed, drink and do other drugs on the same days usually, which is 1-2 times a week, and sometimes I binge all night into the next day. The rest of the week I am fine and sober, but I still am numb.

This girl I have been chatting up lately keeps wanting to know how much I like her.. well I wish I could answer her, shes a stunner, but I dont feel anything.. just MEH, BLAH!!!
 
OP, for one, the receptors on the neurons in your brain are rebuilt/recycled every few days and the instructions for synthesis of these proteins is in your DNA, so you "damaging" a receptor is obsolete. My guess would be some sort of damage to serotonin or dopamine neurons in your brain for the lack of emotion; or perhaps the spice may have precipitated a latent psychological disorder. I just want to point out that you shouldn't be using MDxx or meth more than once a month and should keep binges short to prevent brain damage. How frequently have you been taking these drugs OP?

I used to get panic attacks whenever I smoked too OP, and my best cure for that was psychedelic drugs. I am not a person who is a particular advocate of psychedelic use, but that certainly is how I overcame my weed panic attacks.
 
I have been rolling and/or taking amphetamine 1-3 times a week. This seems a bit excessive in retrospective. Last week I took amphetamine once, rolled once and took dox once, all in combination with alcohol and weed, over the course of 2 and a half days(probably my longest binge yet). Then 2 days later I rolled/drunk/smoked again, then took dox again later that night, bad idea I know, I now hate dox with a passion! Maybe my sudden alarm is due to having a really drug fueled recent week, one which I am not pround of, but I have had ongoing problems anyway.

I am definatley taking a break from everything from here on out, I have been sleeping massive amounts for the last few days and eating alot! I trust the sleep has something to do with my abuse.

I can see how psychs could help me to be honest, I've taken LSD a few times this year but haven't taken the time during my trips to reflect on my issues so it obviously hasn't helped. On a brighter note shroom season is ticking over and it has been so very long since I have indulged in natures gift :) I allways find shroom trips much more profound and emotional then any other psych, so maybe I should take the next month to get healthy and mentally prepare myself for a good tek :D

In what kind of set and setting did you take psychs to recover from the weed panic attacks Infared? did breaks make things worse?

EDIT: Pm's are cleared, didn't realise we only get a tiny amount of space.
 
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I was going to send you a long PM about recovering from panic attacks but you are still just caning the drugs...

You are not going to recover if you keep taking shit, and taking LSD is not going to help. You should stop taking drugs, eat well and hit the gym.

No wonder you are still having anxiety issues from 2 day binges, wtf...
 
Sounds like depersonalization disorder. As others have mentioned, the first thing you should do right now is to abstain from all psychoactive drugs. (This DEFINITELY includes caffeine and alcohol)
 
It's sad, but it gets almost funny after a while. People come on here saying:
"I've been using meth and cocaine" (substitute whatever really)

Then Adding:
"oh, and smoking a lot of weed and drinking, too" (and add weed and something else, usually)
Resulting in:
"Now I don't feel like myself when I'm sober, I don't feel right, I feel depressed, numb, I don't have any motivation, etc, etc"

Followed by:
"Did I damage my X,Y or Z system? Is receptor X,Y, or Z damaged? What should I take to fix it?"

It happens almost constantly. It's as if people didn't get the memo when they started using drugs. Your grade school anti-drug lectures had a lot of bullshit, but they got a few things right. When people start using drugs, they start with lowish doses, and feel awesome. They start raising the doses to achieve the same effects, and eventually you don't feel normal without drugs.

Two choices, really. Keep using drugs, and you'll continue to feel worse. Stop using drugs and feel like shit for a while. You'll get back to normal in a while. You can be certain that there are people who used drugs more heavily than you have, quit and went back to feeling normal.

That's not to say that drugs can't make you feel better. I don't see any reason someone can't use something like suboxone or methadone or some hypothetical not-yet-existant DARI equivalent long term to eliminate their cravings, normalize themselves and feel a bit better.

But really, it'd be best if you started avoiding drugs altogether.
 
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Dizmal said:
I have been rolling and/or taking amphetamine 1-3 times a week.
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That is SO MUCH rolling and meth. This alone could do what you are describing, no problem. This plus everything else you named makes me not the least bit surprised that you are experiencing these side effects, which also seem to be not all that rare in spice (and similar) users. Using lots of drugs constantly (know that I don't mean daily in any way, you can use something like E or meth a lot less than daily for it to be considered constant) will give you this "numb" feel. I've had it, not to your extent I assume, but all I can say is cut back as much as possible or quit for a while. If you gave yourself one month clean you'd notice huge improvements, especially if your sleep and diet are good, and ESPECIALLY if you're working out (lifting, and endurance). I find if I set myself a limited time clean, I can do it well, where if I just stop w/o ever really planning to use again, I'm using in less time. I don't think your problems will get any better if you don't severely cut back on your use of everything, especially of rolling, meth, and RCs. What's there to lose from trying this? And think of all you could gain.
 
Dizmal said:
I am definatley taking a break from everything from here on out, I have been sleeping massive amounts for the last few days and eating alot! I trust the sleep has something to do with my abuse.

I can see how psychs could help me to be honest, I've taken LSD a few times this year but haven't taken the time during my trips to reflect on my issues so it obviously hasn't helped. On a brighter note shroom season is ticking over and it has been so very long since I have indulged in natures gift :) I allways find shroom trips much more profound and emotional then any other psych, so maybe I should take the next month to get healthy and mentally prepare myself for a good tek :D
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Honestly dude, (as I said in your thread in The Dark Side too) I really really think you need to continue your break from ALL drugs for at least a good few months. I know that might seem like a long time seeing as you've been using various substances so frequently for so long, but your brain will really thank you for it. You only get ONE brain man!! Don't break it!
 
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