Have drugs fucked you up?

[DiMiTri89]

Im 22 and ive had an extremely long history of drug abuse spanning the greater part of the past decade. It started when i was 13 and i got my first tastes of coke and weed (seperate occasions). Since i was young and had very little money to my name it would have been impossible to support that habit so i did it from ages 13 to 16 as often as i could w/o having to pay for it. In that time i also tried Acid, molly and psylocybin which opened my mind to a whole new way of thinking and ended up being the path i took which led me to be the person i am today, but i digress; around 16 i started doing coke and smoking weed daily. For me the weed didnt impede upon my day to day but the coke really put a strain on my relationship with my friends and family and i ended up not being to hold down friendships or relationships until i reached 19. In between 16 and 20 i began my opiate/benzo phase. It started just doing perks or oc's here or there which very quickly turned into a serious chemical dependance. I loved opiates and benzos so much that i would literally sell my left nut for a fix. I was constantly in the er feigning panic attacks for valium or trying to score some perks for my back. I was headed down a road of ultimate destruction and i know i would have died or ended up in jail as i would break into cars and homes trying to find cash for more. My downfall almost came when my doctor prescribed me a 2mg klonopin script. Within a week i was using about 10 mgs a day from my script and wat i culd score off other ppl, i dont remember literally an entire year and half of my life because of those fucking pills. I ended up fucking so many things in mylife up through k-pins, i started dating the love of my life when i was 19, her name was becca wed met at college and things were perfect, i dont know what happened or when it happened but i somehow decided in my head that drugs and getting high were the most important thing in my life, not her and i just focused all my intention on getting high. I was with her for two and a half years and i had a million chances to make things better but i was so dulled out on herion/oc's/morphine/kpins/xanax to really give a fuck about anything for that matter, and after a few tries in sobriety which ended in violent relapses i figured that that was all there was to life. She stood by me for 2 1/2 years and watched me systematically kill myself day after day, and she hated seeing me do that to myself. It was right around my 20th birthday that lsd cemented itself in my life... It helped me see the true nature of narcotics and benzos and i am happy to report that i am 3 months clean from benzos and 9 months clean from opiates. I know that i could have ended up a statistic but thanks to the wild world of psychadelics im alive and clean (from hard drugs at least)

 

[RubberSoul-91]

Addiction runs in my family especially my mom who left me and my dad when i was like 10 to drink use drugs and do her own thing my dad also has a drinking problem im an only child and was neglected by my parents most of my childhood. When i was younger i always said to myself ill never be like that but it fucked with my head. I have always been depressed and have very bad anxiety, when i was about 13 i started drinking and smoking pot and realized it numbs my feelings about my fucked up past. Since then ive tried just about every drug there is just for fun but also to repress shit i don't like to think about. dope, coke, speed, way to much mdma, drinking, lsd, benzos, k, rc's, and every rx under the sun but im not an addict to anything in particular i do go on binges once in a wile. Im prescribed Xanax and temazepam for my anxiety but i smoke pot almost everyday drink once in a wile and try to only use other drugs 2, 3 times a week if im lucky lol, for the most part i keep my drug use to myself most of my close friends don't even know the shit i do. Ive always had problems but i do notice that drugs have changed me a little. my sleep pattern is so fucked up its unreal and i still have hppd. overall tho im in good shape I eat healthy and take vitamins everyday i always research on what i put in my body as all of you should, and do know a little bit about the chemistry enough to know what i should and shouldn't do. Im 20 now and feel like i damaged my brain and organs a little bit more than they should be but im sure its not as bad as i think since my doc says im healthy so ill take his word for it. I usually don't post much i come on bluelight to do research and help me with harm reduction but i saw this thread and wanted to chime in. I love getting high i learned that's just who i am but i always try to remember addiction run in my blood so i try not to let it take control or my life. I have a lot of friends and family who od, died, and ended up in jail ive seen drugs fuck up a lot of peoples lives around me but i continue to use lol what can i say there fun. Everyone has there own problems but you cant get rid of them by getting high its only a temporary fix to a deeper problem that your going to have to face one day. trying to fix your problems with drugs only makes them worse, learn how to live with them cause they will most likely always be there. Sorry i suck at spelling and ramble a little but i hope this helps everyone.

-One hit is to many but a thousand isn't enough-

 

[kokaino]

In a word, yes! I started smoking weed at 13 and it was all downhill from that moment on. At 15 I got into opioids and then eventually I got into MDMA, cocaine/crack, amphetamines, heroin and the needle (all this before I reached the age of 20). I'm now 28 and have nothing. I'm always broke, bored, and just go about life pretending to be happy to everyone around me when in reality I'm just sick and tired of my life. The only thing that keeps me going is my hobby of collecting venomous snakes. It keeps my mind off of the troubles of the real world when I am working with the snakes.