Ungoliath said:
No, they've made me alot more jaded and hateful, they've made me realize truely how fake most people are.
Psycadellics made me realize how truely full of shit that I, and pretty much everyone who does psycadellics are. They trick themselves into thinking they have all the anwsers to all of lifes problems cause their high on acid, pretend to be all enlightened and all knowing when in reality they are the stupidest of them all.
dude, you sound pretty bitter. most people i know who trip will be the first to admit they dont know shit... and that all the ultimately unknowable shit is worth delving into so you can find out just what you (dont) know. you seem pretty sure of yourself for someone who is self-admitedly full of shit though, and it makes me feel bad that you must have had such a string of unpleasant expiriences. in alot of cases, i think you empower yourself to become who the drugs will "make" you into, based on who you were or what your intentions are getting into it.
you could probably apply the phrase illicit, to my recreational drug use, and it does at times border on addiction but it has all deffinately enhanced my life.
i wouldnt be who i was today if not for drugs thats cause such self doubt... and even if i wasnt always questioning wether or not i'm doing enough with who i am, i would be someone else and probably farther from doing what i want... like playing music, or writing or etc. i dont care if i'm not ever going to be pro at that shit, as long as i can do it just because i know what i'm getting out of it. if i didnt do things the way i did, i probably would have given up without even know what i was capable of.
that isnt to say i attribute my drug use to playing music, but thats an example i guess of people (more specifically pot smokers) being hard on themselves for being too lazy or not accomplishing things they feel they must. which imo, is a biproduct of having it crammed down your throat that you are doing a wrong thing, or that you have to be someone specific when you reach a certain time in your life.
fuck it. i'm not lazy, my priorities have just changed and i realise now what is important and what passes easily by. the anxiety or depression is not a result of the drug, but a result of the way the drug has allowed (not caused) me to see the world, which isn't too far from who i was when i started... you really take shit in, and in reality alot of things are pretty fucking shitty sometimes... but if you arent so caught up in all the wrong priorities, you can watch it passively unfold and things arent so shitty... and depending on the drug (and use) it will either help or hinder that... just like religion and TV.
i dont attest to any holy grail of knowledge i obtained from drugs, but they have put my life on a course of events that i can say for certain wouldnt have happened otherwise, and have put me in connection with things i wanted to pursure, but would have otherwise dropped to become a "real person", and thats where it boils down to where you decide how it has affected (or how much you let it bug) you.
this is who i am, and drugs have deffinately helped me get there.
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